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Confusing Straight Friend

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elohim2010

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My best friend and I have both known each other for 10 years. We’re both married; he’s straight, I am gay. Being that we both now live in neighboring states, we got together for a weekend trip to hang out.

We drank our way through the bars in downtown. And deciding not to spend any more money at bars, we opted for the liquor store instead.

And here’s where it gets interesting. He was probably be playful (and drunk) and bros-being-bros, he smacks my ass in the liquor store. And the bottle of vodka we got, as he was walking behind me, he pokes me in the ass with it. Needless to say, I didn’t mind his more hands on nature.

So back at the room, we continue to drink. We play some chill music. We talk and hang out. I don’t know how we got on the top, but eventually we’re talking about our porn preferences and are searching for porn. Context: while drinking and bar hopping earlier, we had both shared about the lack of sex / sexual desire in both our marriages.

So yeah....now we are searching for porn together. And we are also losing all sense of modest. We were whipping our dicks out as well. Drunks guys.

So as the night gets later, one of us mentions about jacking off and doing it together. He objected us to being in the same bed together (hotel room, two separate beds). So I went to mine, he went to his. Both concealed under the covers, and our hands are moving. Neither of us cummed. We went to bed. When I asked him about it being weird between us and not wanting to if it would end our friendship, he told me not to talk about it.

Needless to say, we were fine the next day. And we have texted since the . When our other friend joined us the next day, he asked what we did the night before......I hesitated answering but my friend said, “Just wated Tv and drank back at the hotel room.”

I am thoroughly confused, and left wanting more of my friend.
 
Why are you confused? He didn't want you and didn't ask, and didn't push, and isn't gay.
 
You didn't really ask for advice but here's the bottom line: people do things when they are drunk that they probably wouldn't do when they are sober. Even while drunk, your friend was putting the breaks on things.

That's a sign.

If you're putting your friendship first, you should stop and ask yourself, "What did this friend need from me?". The answer is that he needed a friend to vent to, drink with and forget about the problems of the world. What you're discussing- wanting more (physically) from your friend isn't really helping your friend.. and it's creating a whole new set of problems aside from the ones that he has already.

And as important, it sounds like you're in a relationship of your own. And it sounds like you may have work to do there.
 
What is it that you expected him to say to a third party? "J and I jerked off together last night"????
Did you honestly expect him to say something he clearly said "don't mention it again"? Why would you ever think that?
I echo Kara's comment about your own relationship, but it sounds like you're not attracted to your own mate. That's a problem in itself, and not a good indicator of authenticity in your relationship, unless it's due to your mate being sick, or some other condition.
Leave the straight friend alone. There are way too many gay men lusting after their straight friends and ruining friendships because of it. You either value the friendship (and you became friends for the right reasons, not because of undisclosed lust), or you just got close to him hoping to get in his pants, which is never a good reason for being friends with anyone.
 
Sometimes str8 guys wonder what it would be like to try something out. And they know a friend who is bi or gay. They have a few drinks, go a little bit close to the edge of trying something, but ultimately decide not to. That's their right.

You can help just by being there for them, accept them, and don't try to push them over the line. Maybe they will never go over that line or maybe they will. But by supporting your friend, you enable them to make that decision more easily. You are being their true friend.
 
Feel lucky that you and him were able to cross that road somehow, but also let things go as they are, without forcing the situatiuon. OF ccourse, if anything else were to happen, let him take the lead, but it doesn't sound like he's ready to do so anytime soon.
 
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