Cope with Being Single?

[BassBoom38]

Hi guys,
I came out a few years ago to my friends and family and it's made my life so much better. The only thing missing has been the elusive relationship. I kept telling myself not to worry; that I'm young and I'll eventually meet someone. Flash forward to today. I'm 25 years old and I've still never had a romantic relationship with anyone. I've been looking...getting out there and meeting new people, I even tried the online dating scene with no success. It never bothered me before but yesterday it finally hit me: I could easily end up single and alone for the rest of my life. Sounds a bit melodramatic but it's true. I've been hoping year after year that I would meet someone for me but it hasn't ever happened. Who am I to assume that this will change one day?

So. Pity party aside, I know I can't make a boyfriend appear out of thin air. So the best that I can do is get comfortable being single, right? Anyone else in my situation? How do you cope? Got any strategies for being single and happy? I'd love nothing more than to get over this and simply be happy - with or without someone by my side.

 

[KaraBulut]

Hi guys,
I'm 25 years old and I've still never had a romantic relationship with anyone. I've been looking...getting out there and meeting new people, I even tried the online dating scene with no success.

Nothing at all or just not what you wanted?

 

[anchihiro]

Hey, and welcome to JUB!
Well i'd say you've made a decent step of coming out awhile ago. I know it can seem quite strange thinking 'wow i guess i'm gonna be alone for the rest of my life' but trust me there are millions of others who feel the same way as you do.

What i would suggest is the usual formulas, such as clubs and groups. It may not be for you, but the key is to just get out there, in socialable scenarios whatever that may be for you gym, convention, sports, rock climbing, pubs, etc.
Do you have any gay friends who you can hang out with who could introduce you to more gay people?
Overall the trick is to have confidence in your self, in everything you do, because then you'll stop caring, and then suddenly that feeling of loneliness will disappear. x

 

[fetaby]

To have more, desire less.

Instead of wishing to become happy, enjoy the happiness you already have. Find ways to multiply the pleasure you currently enjoy.

 

[hylas]

it sounds like youre doing everything right...
i think finding true love is just very hard, and its a privilege, not something were entitled to. ive been single for almost half a decade myself. it would be easy to just find a boyfriend. but finding true love, i guess that just takes time.

 

[DarkHelios]

I'm 30 and I've never been in a romantic relationship (primarily because I'm terrible and making the first move and not that many people seem to know that I'm gay).

It bugs me a bit, but not too much. I think that a romantic relationship could improve my life, but even without one my life is excellent.

My time is filled with various activities and projects that I enjoy working on. I spend time with friends on a regular basis. Additionally, I've got a couple of extremely close friends who I feel I can talk to about anything.

All I can really suggest is that you find things that you enjoy doing, and do them as much as possible. Look as a relationship as a perk, but not a requirement for happiness.

 

[texan_slant]

I'm 43 and in the same boat; never been in a romantic relationship at all.

Though I am happy being single, I don't discount sharing my life with anyone either. I am making the choice right now to stay single;

Perhaps I am fearful, and perhaps I am too comfortable in my situation, however, this it is more important to learn how to be single and be comfortable in your own skin, before you can ever be in a relationship with anyone.

Just enjoy yourself, get to know yourself, yet get yourself out there, hang out with friends, and meet new ones.

 

[Visaac6548]

As someone who's hetero friends are mostly in committed relationships ("going steady" for a few years to married), I understand the feeling of loneliness. It sucks.

That said, I am also in the process of coming out, and have begun exploring. I'm currently on a couple online dating sites, and once I move to a larger neighborhood, I hope to find interest groups and gay support groups to meet more people. I've found that focusing less on searching for a relationship and searching for more acquaintances/friends has helped me stave off any despair over being single.

 

[USEDCAR]

I second the Hetros i know being in committed relationships its very lonely when your the only single person.

It does suck being single its much harder to find love when your gay compared to being straight. im 22 and never been in a real relationship i had fuck buddies which is cool but its nice to have something more instead of having someone come over for a few hours fuck and they leave.

I guess before finding a boyfriend i would love to have some friends i am lacking in that department.

Do you live in a small town or big city or a medium size city?

If you live in a small town you might have to travel to a big city and go out and check the gay scene. Or possibly move to a gay frendly city that would better your chances. That been my Goal for years is to finish school and move to a gay friendly city

 

[MMMonsterBoy]

"If you can't have the man of your dreams, there are other ways to give love" - Lady Gaga

I find this to be very true. There are other ways to make others happy, or yourself happy without being in a relationship. Focusing on other aspects of your life can be rewarding, and fulfilling.

 

[hey123sexy]

I'm 22 and never been in a relationship. Well, maybe this is what i'm fated to become. SINGLE forever. Ouch. But what can i do?

 

[altlover85]

I don't think currently being single is an omen that you will be single forever. It just doesn't really make sense. It sounds like you are doing everything right OP. I think if you focus a little less on a relationship and more on meeting guys that you could have some fun with and be friends with, you might put to rest some of this relationship anxiety. Sometimes hookups become boyfriends.

Good luck!