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could you date a guy that doesn't have reliable transportation or in other words a guy with a bus pass?

  • Thread starter Thread starter refujiunderground
  • Start date Start date
A lot of guys I meet in my city do not own cars. At most they have a bicycle to be "environmentally conscious" and mostly rely on the subway or taxis.
 
ravenstar said:
I don't drive. I catch cabs, buses or trains. Frankly if someone is that picky it makes me wonder why. There are a variety of reasons people don't drive. It seems an odd deal breaker quite frankly.

Can I ask why you're so obsessed with these types of thread. If people are going to be picky they're going to be picky. Why do you care so much?
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I'm assuming that you're from Gosford.. which is in Australia..? I don't know how the European, and Australian gays are.. However, many (not all) gay Americans tend to be somewhat more critical over their partners. They want a man who is financially stable, has a job, has a car, be a certain weight, be a certain height, be a certain race, dress a certain way, act a certain why, have a certain amount of education, it's tough! Not everyone has it like that. .. The poster of this thread seems to be unsure, and possibly not confident of finding another gay partner in America, because many (not all) are just so critical and precise on what they want. It's so stressful!
 
refujiunderground said:
it's good that you see it that way. some guys have it, some don't and you're willing to overlook that but you have to look at it from another person's perspective though who may not like that. it might be a pain in the ass to someone else and who can blame them if so and so lives two counties away and they're burn gas and mileage to meet up with them. eventually that person that doesn't have a car is going to have to do some traveling themselves along the way. might have to take the bus and share the traveling expenses to do the meetups. traveling and distance can be a strain on a relationship especially if folks can't see each other regularly because they don't live close.
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Thank you! The thing with me is that I have many things that others don't, however I try to be more accepting and understanding of them not having what I have. I do agree, it would be a pain if your distance was extremely long as going from county to county. However, I'm talking about something simple as your date being like 6 minutes down the block, or from around the corner. I could see how if they lived farther apart, that would be a problem. But something simple as being 6-15 minutes away, shouldn't be a biggie.
 
I always insist on driving, anyway (control issues), so it doesn't matter to me if he has his own car. If he wanted to come over to my house and I had to go get him, I'd consider that inconvenient; but if we were going somewhere together, or if I was going to his house, I would have driven in the first place so it's no skin off my nose.
 
When you're talking to a Guy he needs to have the basics UPFRONT..A Job, a place to stay(Living with a roommaate is fine) and a car....

If you don't have those basics we can be Fuck Buddies but that's about it...
 
I wouldn't want to be the one to always drive .everywhere. ...but that said I'd have to always meet at their place or wherever the date was going to be, since meeting at mine would never be an option. I'd be fine with taking the 'train' but that is a fairly limited service here (and wouldn't i do the bus LOL)
 
When you're talking to a Guy he needs to have the basics UPFRONT..A Job, a place to stay(Living with a roommaate is fine) and a car....

If you don't have those basics we can be Fuck Buddies but that's about it...


Swellegant said:
I always insist on driving, anyway (control issues), so it doesn't matter to me if he has his own car. If he wanted to come over to my house and I had to go get him, I'd consider that inconvenient; but if we were going somewhere together, or if I was going to his house, I would have driven in the first place so it's no skin off my nose.
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You might not realize this but your answer to the Question is NO....At some point he'd want to spend the night and you'd have to pick him and take him back home...You want to be nice in this situation but your answer is really No you wouldnt date someone that didnt have transportation...
 
MisterMajestic said:
When you're talking to a Guy he needs to have the basics UPFRONT..A Job, a place to stay(Living with a roommaate is fine) and a car....

If you don't have those basics we can be Fuck Buddies but that's about it...
Click to expand...

That's really insulting, and offensive to the guy that if the guy doesn't meet those three criteria, then the only use and value that he is to you is just some object to have sex with.
 
HolyEggRolly said:
I'm assuming that you're from Gosford.. which is in Australia..? I don't know how the European, and Australian gays are.. However, many (not all) gay Americans tend to be somewhat more critical over their partners. They want a man who is financially stable, has a job, has a car, be a certain weight, be a certain height, be a certain race, dress a certain way, act a certain why, have a certain amount of education, it's tough! Not everyone has it like that. .. The poster of this thread seems to be unsure, and possibly not confident of finding another gay partner in America, because many (not all) are just so critical and precise on what they want. It's so stressful!
Click to expand...

Firstly, yep Gosford is in Australia.

Our gays down under are just as fussy and pedantic as gays anywhere else in the world, never fear. It's a beach culture where I live so unless you're a surfer type under the age of 25 you've got more luck with your right hand than getting a partner.

Also, I hadn't realised that refuji had written this post. It was so similar to several others that were written by you that I assumed it was yours, so I find it funny you answered :badgrin:

My point still stands however, if people want to picky they're going to be picky. They're mostly going to be alone as well. There are a wide variety of gays out there, with jobs, without, with cars, without, with hot bodies, without. If someone makes not having a car a deal breaker, they're not worth the time to worry about.
 
ravenstar said:
Firstly, yep Gosford is in Australia.

Our gays down under are just as fussy and pedantic as gays anywhere else in the world, never fear. It's a beach culture where I live so unless you're a surfer type under the age of 25 you've got more luck with your right hand than getting a partner.

Also, I hadn't realised that refuji had written this post. It was so similar to several others that were written by you that I assumed it was yours, so I find it funny you answered :badgrin:

My point still stands however, if people want to picky they're going to be picky. They're mostly going to be alone as well. There are a wide variety of gays out there, with jobs, without, with cars, without, with hot bodies, without. If someone makes not having a car a deal breaker, they're not worth the time to worry about.
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I know this topic is just about being accepted if you have a car or not, but it symbolizes something bigger. It showcases how extremely critical some people are, and how it negatively downfalls on themseleves. Many of the gays (and straights) usually end up alone because they're so critical, and expect so much out of others. And they're limiting themselves to meeting really good people. Hell, I met this guy who was 35 years old, had a job, and still live with his parents. He was the most awesome guy ever, he wasn't the ideal guy to date because of qualifications. But romantically and mentally, he was awesome guy who had a great mindset. I met this other 24 year old guy who didn't have a car or job (because of disability), and he was a really sincere sweetheart. Not saying others have to accept it, but if they make their qualifications more fleixble, and leantent, they'd might end up finding someone. ;] Flaws, and all.
 
I'm 39, went broke a couple of years ago, ended up losing everything. I've lived with my parents while I've been rebuilding my life. I'm no one's ideal but I'm a good person, with a gentle heart. I'll find someone one day who will see beyond the superficial, and if I don't, well there's always hookers :badgrin:
 
ravenstar said:
I'm 39, went broke a couple of years ago, ended up losing everything. I've lived with my parents while I've been rebuilding my life. I'm no one's ideal but I'm a good person, with a gentle heart. I'll find someone one day who will see beyond the superficial, and if I don't, well there's always hookers :badgrin:
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I thought that's what mainly matters. When a person really likes someone, they have to like them for their flaws, and all. Some people have to get their heads out of the clouds. Not everyone is going to be financially fortunate, or have the same fortunate materials as them. "Shit happens", sometimes people get hit by the unfortunate inconvenient stick in life. People lose jobs, people lose money. If you can't like someone at their worse... well, you know that cheesy lame ass quote. Dx
 
I'll travel far and wide to get laid. And if he's cute I'll transport him everywhere. But of course I'm a ho!
 
Yes, and I have dated guys with no wheels, but they give me hot sex!!!
 
When I moved in with my ex who lives outside of Boston, most of my friends only had a train pass and no car to come visit me. It's kind of stupid to pay for a monthly train pass ($100/month) and a spot for parking ($100+/month) on top of the usual car expenses.
 
I will say this much: Unless I'm in a situation where I'm living near or at some kind of local transit stop (such as a bus stop), I would never...EVER...consider a live-in relationship with somebody who is unable to drive. I am too independent to be entirely responsible for all transportation for TWO people. That would be an absolute deal-breaker for me.

And, presumably because I'm most likely to be dating somebody with exploration of a future relationship in mind, I guess that would also be considered a dealbreaker as well...UNTIL/UNLESS I'm living in a place with transit. (Any live-in relationship would require the person to move where I am...it is not possible for me to move in with somebody else...probably only one person in about 2,500 has more "stuff" to move than I do.) It will be at least two to four years before I will be living in any place with transit; then dating somebody who cannot drive may no longer be a major issue.

I guarantee that I will not move to any place WITHOUT accessible transit, because I do not ever, EVER want to move again after this next time.

I have to recognize that things could always happen that could cause me to be unable to drive, such as being confined to a wheelchair, which could be from something as simple as falling wrong on ice. This doesn't always happen "only to old people." Being stranded somewhere miles from any kind of convenient transit (as I am now) could be dangerous, and that's one reason that I'm trying to move somewhere else - besides being in a dead-end boring town where nothing interesting ever happens,..,.,
 
Yes. I don't see guys who don't have a car as anything bad. My own experience because I've been on both ends of the spectrum

I live in a major US city where everyone says you MUST have a car. I got my license and first car as soon as I turned 16, and I drove pretty much nonstop for 10 years. Even if something was a 2 block walk, I'd take my car instead. I even drove a high end sports coupe in my later years, and lied my way to get parking permits just so I could have a car in college.

But eventually a car is a drag. You sit in traffic all day and deal with crazies who are constantly threatening your life. You pay a ton of money for insurance each month. Gas prices keep going up, $50-60 per tank. Then there's that flat tire because your city is filled with potholes in every corner - $600 down. Routine car service? $500. That bitch at the supermarket lot gave you a ding by mistake and drove off, that's $1000 to fix. Going to the movie theater? $6 for parking. Visit a friend in a crowded area, $10 for parking. It adds up and gets exhausting.

I can afford a car - a nice car - even with all those expenses, but driving is such an awful, terrible, horrible inconvenience I've given it up.

So just because some of us prefer to ride buses doesn't mean we're low class.

Note: This only works if you live in a central part of the city. Suburbs and bus don't work
 
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