Hey all
Yeah I know this is another typical story but I need to vent/ask for help and I'll try and keep it brief. I am a gay guy and 2 months ago a new co worker called Brian. Brian is a semi pro Rugby player and to be is very good looking. The first time we met, we ended up talking for almost an hour, he laughed at all my terrible jokes and seemed to find anything I talked about interesting. I couldn't get him to leave and after 45minutes I told him that I had to get on sorry. (even though I'd have had him there all day) He went quiet and then said ok thank you for all that you've done for me I really appreciate it. I thought wow, a cute guy with a personality. We saw each other around and he would say hi but was a bit shy and a week later I sat with him in the break room for lunch as he was on his own. He was quiet at first and then almost stared into my eyes and started talking, kinda nervously and a bit quick, I was thinking, does this guy have butterflies or something? Anyway as he is cute I just let him carry on and at least I stared into his eyes and let him talk. Anyway this went on for a couple of weeks, if he was in the break room I would sit opposite him and sometimes he was normal and I could get a word in but other times he would get a bit intense and I couldn't get a word in. Our conversations were almost always about us rather than current affairs as I did with my other colleagues and over time we opened up to each other about some deep things that I haven't really told anyone but with Brain its really easy and its the same for him. He flirted with me a couple of times (nothing heavy) and I guess I did the same so I started to think that maybe there was a bit more to us then just friends. The conversations alone felt more like a date than two workers passing the time. Another colleague who has known him for a couple of years said that he's a different person around you, he's usually very reserved and guarded but he's happy when he's with you. I've also seen him be a bit quiet around others and in his office he's quiet. If he has to go anywhere, he will say that he's got to go but if I have to leave he will try and change the subject so I stay a little bit longer. BUT what is also confusing is that he will talk about anything except us. I asked to meet up after work and he looked away and said "erm... maybe", I offered him my phone number so we could message etc and he said no. One day when he said something pretty deep I said to him you know where I am and can talk to me anytime as you are my mate as well as my colleague. As soon as I said mate, he turned his face away and went bright red. He's also the same if I joke about him renting a room at my house etc.
Anyway recently he had forgotten to pickup something from my office and I brought it down to him. I joked, you forgot this so I brought it down. He started almost cowering in front of me and apologised 3 times. I said don't worry about it Brian, I needed a walk anyway. He went to leave to go home and as we left his office and walked towards the carpark I realised I was following him and went to walk away, he turned, smiled and said "you said you needed a walk, c'mon". So we walked across the site to his car. As we were walking he said what he liked about me and I said what I liked about him (yeah this is deep). As he got into his car I said "see you tomorrow" he went quiet "erm, see you Thursday?" no response. "ok i'll see you soon then". I'm thinking ok we seem to get soo close and then walls come up.. We had a good week that week to be fair and hung out at work everyday. I was speaking with some friends and decided that it was time to find out if he was at least gay or not as that was another subject neither of us had gone near. He turned up outside my office the next day and we walked to his just chatting away until I said that I was bored of being single and was going to go on a gay dating site. He said he was cool about me being gay and that he liked girls. I said "so you like girls then?, you single etc?" He told me he was fresh out of a 3 year relationship and that she still contacts him and he doesn't like it. He then tells me his ideal relationship scenario e.g. he can be honest, open up trust etc. Everything he said was basically our relationship to date and some of which is what we said to each other the previous week. I was like ok fair enough and asked for his number again so we could hangout etc and he said no cos I can easily find him in work and he doesn't want to take this friendship outside of work.
I understand that he's straight and that but it does sting a bit that our friendship to date is his ideal relationship but I'm just not a girl. He's also a really sweet guy who always tries to help me and listen to me as much as I do him but I also can't stop thinking about him if I'm honest. Not sure how I am going to get over this one esp if he comes back to chat. Any advice or thoughts welcome
Yeah I know this is another typical story but I need to vent/ask for help and I'll try and keep it brief. I am a gay guy and 2 months ago a new co worker called Brian. Brian is a semi pro Rugby player and to be is very good looking. The first time we met, we ended up talking for almost an hour, he laughed at all my terrible jokes and seemed to find anything I talked about interesting. I couldn't get him to leave and after 45minutes I told him that I had to get on sorry. (even though I'd have had him there all day) He went quiet and then said ok thank you for all that you've done for me I really appreciate it. I thought wow, a cute guy with a personality. We saw each other around and he would say hi but was a bit shy and a week later I sat with him in the break room for lunch as he was on his own. He was quiet at first and then almost stared into my eyes and started talking, kinda nervously and a bit quick, I was thinking, does this guy have butterflies or something? Anyway as he is cute I just let him carry on and at least I stared into his eyes and let him talk. Anyway this went on for a couple of weeks, if he was in the break room I would sit opposite him and sometimes he was normal and I could get a word in but other times he would get a bit intense and I couldn't get a word in. Our conversations were almost always about us rather than current affairs as I did with my other colleagues and over time we opened up to each other about some deep things that I haven't really told anyone but with Brain its really easy and its the same for him. He flirted with me a couple of times (nothing heavy) and I guess I did the same so I started to think that maybe there was a bit more to us then just friends. The conversations alone felt more like a date than two workers passing the time. Another colleague who has known him for a couple of years said that he's a different person around you, he's usually very reserved and guarded but he's happy when he's with you. I've also seen him be a bit quiet around others and in his office he's quiet. If he has to go anywhere, he will say that he's got to go but if I have to leave he will try and change the subject so I stay a little bit longer. BUT what is also confusing is that he will talk about anything except us. I asked to meet up after work and he looked away and said "erm... maybe", I offered him my phone number so we could message etc and he said no. One day when he said something pretty deep I said to him you know where I am and can talk to me anytime as you are my mate as well as my colleague. As soon as I said mate, he turned his face away and went bright red. He's also the same if I joke about him renting a room at my house etc.
Anyway recently he had forgotten to pickup something from my office and I brought it down to him. I joked, you forgot this so I brought it down. He started almost cowering in front of me and apologised 3 times. I said don't worry about it Brian, I needed a walk anyway. He went to leave to go home and as we left his office and walked towards the carpark I realised I was following him and went to walk away, he turned, smiled and said "you said you needed a walk, c'mon". So we walked across the site to his car. As we were walking he said what he liked about me and I said what I liked about him (yeah this is deep). As he got into his car I said "see you tomorrow" he went quiet "erm, see you Thursday?" no response. "ok i'll see you soon then". I'm thinking ok we seem to get soo close and then walls come up.. We had a good week that week to be fair and hung out at work everyday. I was speaking with some friends and decided that it was time to find out if he was at least gay or not as that was another subject neither of us had gone near. He turned up outside my office the next day and we walked to his just chatting away until I said that I was bored of being single and was going to go on a gay dating site. He said he was cool about me being gay and that he liked girls. I said "so you like girls then?, you single etc?" He told me he was fresh out of a 3 year relationship and that she still contacts him and he doesn't like it. He then tells me his ideal relationship scenario e.g. he can be honest, open up trust etc. Everything he said was basically our relationship to date and some of which is what we said to each other the previous week. I was like ok fair enough and asked for his number again so we could hangout etc and he said no cos I can easily find him in work and he doesn't want to take this friendship outside of work.
I understand that he's straight and that but it does sting a bit that our friendship to date is his ideal relationship but I'm just not a girl. He's also a really sweet guy who always tries to help me and listen to me as much as I do him but I also can't stop thinking about him if I'm honest. Not sure how I am going to get over this one esp if he comes back to chat. Any advice or thoughts welcome
