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Creative ways to have sex when anal fails?

S

shaun36

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Apr 16, 2020
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Hello Everyone,

Hope you all are fine. So me and my partner have been in serious committed relationship for almost 12 years now.

Found the perfect handsome, and lovable guy when I was 20 (he is a year older).

We have sex 2-3 times a week, we are not bore with each other at all, the mere thought of seeing him shirtless gives me instant erection.

But during this period we have tried anal sex couple of times and we came to conclusion that its not for us, its very painful.

Do you guys know any creative ways, or other ways to have sex other then just jerking each other off.

Need your advice.
 
So, just to be clear...

You've been together for 12 years. In 12 years, you've only had anal sex a couple of times?

You have sex 2-3 times a week. Explain what you're currently doing?
 
shaun36 said:
basically kissing, froting, giving each other hand job, long foreplays.
Click to expand...

But no oral?

There's also a variation of frottage that a lot of guys who don't enjoy penetration can try- the fancy name is coitus interfemoris or intercrural sex (or "outercourse"). A brief description: it's placing lube between your legs and between your butt cheeks. Your partner fucks between your cheeks or between your thighs. It's done as foreplay in a lot of porn videos before actual insertion. In intercrural sex, there's never any anal penetration.

The other thing to think about is whether you're focusing too much on specific acts instead upon the lead up to the act.

For example, you're turned on by your partner shirtless. Are there any ways to incorporate this into a fantasy scenario?

If there are things that are turn ons for either of you- a fetish, a massage, a bath/shower together or a scenario similar to the lead ups that are used in porn videos (e.g. the delivery guy, the guy in the lockerroom, public sex, outdoor sex, sex slave role play, etc).
 
https://cockblocktoys.com/pages/ppc?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI6Pa5gvu1-AIVN8LCBB1uAQq7EAAYASAAEgJJo_D_BwE i actually just saw an ad for this new toy! Also anal does not have to be painful! Make sure you are taking the time to really lick each others buttholes and some fingering starting with one and gradually (SLOWLY SLOWLY SLOWLY) increasing to get 2 or 3 in! Try graduated butt plugs and rectal dilators, use a very very slim Dildo and get each other comfortable! LUBE LUBE LUBE Use high quality silicone lubes (set some towels down!) Have some (not excessive) alcohol to relax have you tried poppers, what about 420? Ass massage can help relax too! If you try all of that maybe get into non anal tantra as a new way of having sex. Happy fucking!
 
ShadowCat said:
https://cockblocktoys.com/pages/ppc?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI6Pa5gvu1-AIVN8LCBB1uAQq7EAAYASAAEgJJo_D_BwE i actually just saw an ad for this new toy! Also anal does not have to be painful! Make sure you are taking the time to really lick each others buttholes and some fingering starting with one and gradually (SLOWLY SLOWLY SLOWLY) increasing to get 2 or 3 in! Try graduated butt plugs and rectal dilators, use a very very slim dildo and get each other comfortable! LUBE LUBE LUBE Use high quality silicone lubes (set some towels down!) Have some (not excessive) alcohol to relax have you tried poppers, what about 420? Ass massage can help relax too! If you try all of that maybe get into non anal tantra as a new way of having sex. Happy fucking!
Click to expand...
The toy looks awesome, I would recommend always use condoms with such toys.
 
ShadowCat said:
https://cockblocktoys.com/pages/ppc?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI6Pa5gvu1-AIVN8LCBB1uAQq7EAAYASAAEgJJo_D_BwE i actually just saw an ad for this new toy! Also anal does not have to be painful! Make sure you are taking the time to really lick each others buttholes and some fingering starting with one and gradually (SLOWLY SLOWLY SLOWLY) increasing to get 2 or 3 in! Try graduated butt plugs and rectal dilators, use a very very slim dildo and get each other comfortable! LUBE LUBE LUBE Use high quality silicone lubes (set some towels down!) Have some (not excessive) alcohol to relax have you tried poppers, what about 420? Ass massage can help relax too! If you try all of that maybe get into non anal tantra as a new way of having sex. Happy fucking!
Click to expand...

Never seen a toy exactly like this but I like it even thoug I really like hand on cock *|*!. Thanks ShadowCat for posting
 
shaun36 said:
Hello Everyone,

Hope you all are fine. So me and my partner have been in serious committed relationship for almost 12 years now.

Found the perfect handsome, and lovable guy when I was 20 (he is a year older).

We have sex 2-3 times a week, we are not bore with each other at all, the mere thought of seeing him shirtless gives me instant erection.

But during this period we have tried anal sex couple of times and we came to conclusion that its not for us, its very painful.

Do you guys know any creative ways, or other ways to have sex other then just jerking each other off.

Need your advice.
Click to expand...

my husband and i struggle with anal sex too. i am very much wanting to top him, but more often than not lately he has stomach issues that is preventing him from wanting to do anal. to make things harder neither of us like oral much. but we found creative ways around it. we get high and jerk off together. we stroke each other. make out with lots of body contact. he gets on all fours for me and i dry hump him. there's things you can do if anal is not an option.
 
Well - I have a similar situation - almost 35 years now with my husband and NO ORAL - I hate oral either giving or receiving and made it clear when we first met.

We have had a great sex life though - and so can you! Just focus on what it is you do like and use your imagination.
 
JSRD said:
my husband and i struggle with anal sex too. i am very much wanting to top him, but more often than not lately he has stomach issues that is preventing him from wanting to do anal. to make things harder neither of us like oral much. but we found creative ways around it. we get high and jerk off together. we stroke each other. make out with lots of body contact. he gets on all fours for me and i dry hump him. there's things you can do if anal is not an option.
Click to expand...
Maybe you could consider a threesome (paydate)?
 
That is very romantic that you met your partner when you were 20 and have remained together for 12 years. When you put personal stuff like this out in the internet like this you have to be prepared for all kinds of responses. Stay away from adding people to your intimate times with your partner. Well...............Since you put it out there......you did not mention if your relationship is monogomus. Two men struggle with this but there are many who have been successful. You also didn't mention oral sex. Most, if not all gay men have transformed their joy for sucking cock to almost an art form. Do one of you, or possibly both of you have an adversion to sucking dick? One of the best and most exciting sex positions for gay male couples is 69. You can feast on each other's cock while taking a look every once in awhile of your partner sucking your cock. Another big turn on with a partner is rimming. You didnn't mention that either. Were both of you guys, or one of you very in the closet before coming out. Are theere any intimacy issues going on that eliminate certain sexual activities? The most powerful resource you both have is the LOVE you have for each another. Tap into that emotion and see where it leads you as that will keep you guys bonded while you figure this out. You guys are doing something right. I can count on my one finger how many couples I know that have been together as long as you guys. I wish you both the best.
 
I agree that anal intercourse does not have to be painful. First of all, make yourself comfortable. Think about a bed or sofa where you have sex, it really important. Make sure you take the time to thoroughly lick each other's buttholes and do some fingering, starting with one and working your way up. Slowly, and this is critical. Increasing to get 2 or 3 in, try graded butt plugs and rectal dilators, use a very very slim Dildo and become familiar with each other! It is critical to utilize high-quality silicone lubes. Alcohol allows me to unwind. Ass massage can also help you relax! If you tried everything, you might attempt non-anal tantra as a new approach to have sex.
 
shaun36 said:
basically kissing, froting, giving each other hand job, long foreplays.
Click to expand...
My husband and I haven’t together 34 years (married 14 yrs), and anal isn’t for us either. We’ve used th same solutions that you mentioned. Although, nowadays we both masturbate ourselves (like when we were single). Sex is important, but not the end all/be all. 👍
 
Sex is what you and anyone else involved think it is, there's no rules. Not having anal doesn't mean you're not having sex.

Sex 2 or 3 times a week and you get hard just from seeing him shirtless? Sounds like you've got a fantastic sex life to me!

If you want to try different things, well it sounds like you're not doing oral? There's a place to start. How about masturbating for each other, that can be a turn on. I love watching my guy masturbate whilst I'm there and telling him how much it's driving me wild. And there's no reason that you can't introduce anal if you both want to - it doesn't have to be fucking, you can just rim, finger, use toys, leave it there or work your way up to fucking. Take your time and explore. Some light bondage? You or he like to be restraint, have your hands tied whilst the other sucks or wanks them?

Trying things out is fun, it's just sex and if you don't like it one way, try it another - you're only limited by your own imaginations. If it feels good to you, it is good! :)
 
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