The Original Gay Porn Community - Free Gay Movies and Photos, Gay Porn Site Reviews and Adult Gay Forums

  • Welcome To Just Us Boys - The World's Largest Gay Message Board Community

    In order to comply with recent US Supreme Court rulings regarding adult content, we will be making changes in the future to require that you log into your account to view adult content on the site.
    If you do not have an account, please register.
    REGISTER HERE - 100% FREE / We Will Never Sell Your Info

    PLEASE READ: To register, turn off your VPN (iPhone users- disable iCloud); you can re-enable the VPN after registration. You must maintain an active email address on your account: disposable email addresses cannot be used to register.

  • The Support & Advice forum is a no-flame zone.
    The members offering support and advice do so with the best intention. If you ask for advice, we don't require you to take the advice, but we do ask that you listen and give it consideration.

Crushing - good or bad?

S

saymyname

JUB Addict
Joined
Apr 16, 2008
Posts
1,668
Reaction score
10
Points
0
How do you guys feel about having a crush on someone? Is it something you grow out of, immature, or unavoidable?

Personally, after my last relationship went sour, I've been trying to avoid feelings of crushing on someone I meet, infatuation, becoming enamored with someone, etc. I just don't like how uncontrollable my emotions feel when that happens. It feels too risky. I feel like I am setting myself up to get hurt. But then on the other hand they feel so... exciting.

Lately when I've been dating someone (two guys), I've been trying to be very level headed about it. Very rational. So I approach it, let's say, with one of them, like this: I find you attractive. we have a lot in common. I pretty much like something more about you every time I hang out with you - and because I want this to be real, I'm not going to have things move too fast and get all lovey right away (that's what happened last time and it was a disaster).

THEN, I come across (dating website) someone who I have next to nothing in common with, but feel extremely physically attracted to. And the mystery of it turns me on so much. The what ifs. And I get all wrapped up in it, but the part of me that learned from my mistakes is saying no! that's bad!!! Don't get involved with someone just because he's totally fucking hot and you are swooning over his good looks.

But opposites attract. And I never get level-headed crushes on people who I'm actually cut out for. It's some kind of weird binary.

Anyways, yeah. Crushes. Good or bad?
 
Crushes in my opinion lead to new horizons. Sometimes you follow the dusk sometimes the morning sun...

or to be less artsy, you will have crushes, if you follow them you will likely be in new situations, some situations are bad others are good.
 
I think its a bad idea and it is avoidable. I know many people in grammar school and hs who would find people to crush on just for the sake of having crushes, because "they're fun" which I guess they can be, but I find in my experiences, its not neccessarily that they are really your crush, but you make yourself believe they are and in my cases my wit goes out the window, and Im not as "cool" and chill as i'd normally be with people because I get nervous.
 
Crushes are the only thing that first attracts you to someone. You have to have a small crush to at least approach someone. I think they are fun. They can put you into some crazy roller coaster feelings but to crush on someone is the start of something.
 
I dated a guy who tried to be excessively rational. It was like dating a robot, or a mortgage broker - major turn off, which is a pity, because I really liked him. While I do think you should hold off on sex for as long as possible, and not kiss on the first date, etc., there definitely needs to be that sense of excitement. The game is preserving it, and finding new and better reasons to be excited about each other.
 
I think a crush is a part of being human and the decision is what to do about the crush. A crush means you have a sexual attraction to someone. I don't think a crush is avoidable at all. I don't think a person can "turn off" their feelings for someone. HOWEVER, I do believe that a person can make a "decision" on what to "do" about a crush. Now if you feel this can go somewhere then go for it. But a "crush" can die and fade away over time they usually do.
 
Crushing's fine. It's WHAT you do about the crush that's important. If he's gay and available, and you make a move, great. If he's unavailable, and maybe make him your little masturbatory fantasy for a bit before moving on, great. If you sit at home drawing hearts in a notebook with your initials in it for weeks on end, you need to get more proactive. :)

Lex
 
I consider a crush to be more a fantasy.

You have a crush on someone who you can never have which is why crushes are fun. Because once you do hook up with your curhs, it's no longer a fantasy but a reality and the fun is gone. You've had it and you move on to the next.

I think people confuse having a crush with being interested in someone.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top