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Crushing On A Closet Case

M

Mannie

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I've been crushing on this really cute guy. The thing is, is that he's "straight". He's one of those guys everyone thinks is gay and has all the charecteristics of a "stereotypical gay guy" (I don't mean to offend but these labels do exist).

He's a year older than me. I added him on MySpace and he sent me a message asking who I was...I just told him that my friend told me to add him. Anyway..now he's in the same class as me. The first day he was there he stared at me all through the class..and every week when I see him my friend tells me that he stares at me.

He claims hes straight and one of my friends texted him that a guy liked him. He guessed it was me (even though at the time i had only added him on myspace) and said he wasnt gay. I want him so bad. I don't even communicate with him because im so shy and afraid of rejection. My friend is friends with him, so she wrote him a note for me to give to him so that we might start talking..well he just mumbled something when I gave him the note and that was it. HELP!

I think he's in the closet and still denying his feelings and telling himself that he's straight (i went through the same thing) but IDK what to do. He doesn't have an issue with gay people since he's friends with this one gay guy.

I only see him once a week at class. :(

He's never had a girlfriend and all his friends are girls.
 
What should I say? I wouldn't know how to start the conversation :(
 
DO NOT PROCEED...Believe it or not sometimes people with 'gay' characteristics are not gay. If a friendship develops and later the situation changes that would be great. Being out of the closet with him is fine just don't hit on him now that he has said he is straight. You are young and while you are spending all this time hitting on the straight guy some other really cute guy is thinking about you but you will miss him if you don't look up and around you.
 
So what should I do? Just ignore him all together? I would still like to be friends..I do have class with him and he is nice.
 
He claims hes straight

Sorry, if he says he's straight it's because 1) he's straight or 2) he's not interested in you.

I think he's in the closet and still denying his feelings and telling himself that he's straight

He may be. Or you could be trying to project your feelings onto him. Either way, it's a waste of your time.

im so shy and afraid of rejection

If you're afraid of rejection, then why are you wasting your time with a situation that is going to get you a big dose of rejection?
 
As Karablut says, stop trying to project on this guy what you want him to be.

Get some self respect by respecting his statement that he is straight.You're only going to appear as obsessive and annoying if you keep pursuing this.

If he wants you as a friend, let him make the moves.

In the meantime, get out into the real world and make more friends.
 
You said he is friends with another Gay kid. That should tell you something right there. The fact he isn't reaching out to be your friend should be a wake up call. He isn't interested.

Move on.
 
No it's not a wake up call. This guy is really shy. Like I said he's never dated anyone. He's really handsome and cute..good body and everything. A little odd don't you think? I wouldn't be so into this If he wasn't constantly staring at me in class. I know he's not giving me dirty looks..hes genuinely interested in me..but I dont know in what way.
 
If you're afraid of rejection, then why are you wasting your time with a situation that is going to get you a big dose of rejection?

Well I don't want to let this chance pass by. You know? I'm not really wasting my time since I have all the time in the world. LOL, I'm willing to take a risk this time :(

You said he is friends with another Gay kid. That should tell you something right there. The fact he isn't reaching out to be your friend should be a wake up call. He isn't interested.

The thing is, the other gay kid isn't interested in him. Like I said, he found out I liked him before he ever got a chance to become friends with me. By coincidence he happened to be in my class AFTER I told him I liked him and he said that he was straight. In class when I was speaking to the instructor I swear I heard him laughing at a joke I said...


In the meantime, get out into the real world and make more friends.

Thank you for that suggestion but I do have plenty of friends. The thing is that they're girls. LOL..even if he isn't gay (which would be a total shock) he would still make a great friend (and a really cute one) he's into everything I'm into.

Thanks for the replies..even if some of them were kind of harsh. :X

Trust me guys, I'm not one to get so attached. I live in a small town and I'm very picky. It's rare to find a guy I like, let alone one I'm completely sprung off of.

I'm still so confused on this matter. More input would be great <3
 
If you're afraid of rejection, then why are you wasting your time with a situation that is going to get you a big dose of rejection?

Well I don't want to let this chance pass by. You know? I'm not really wasting my time since I have all the time in the world. LOL, I'm willing to take a risk this time

There are many threads in this forum from young gay men who are in love with/infatuated with/obsessed with straight guys.

There are also many, many threads in this forum from young gay men who want somebody to love and want somebody to love them. Where are all the nice gay guys and why can't I find them?, they wonder

Honestly, if we could get the nice gay guys to give up these hopeless quests for straight guys, there would be a whole lot more nice available gay guys on the market... it would cut back on the "I'm in love with a straight guy" threads AND the "Why can't I find a boyfriend?" threads.

Ya'll deserve better. Really- you do.
 
He texted me!!!

he asked my friend for my number...he asked about some school trip...he said I should come!



:P
 
I had a friend like that and was in the same situation when I was in highschool. I asked if he likes guys, but he didn't responded and asked one of my bestfriend if I was gay....I think he was interested in me...but we never got anywhere.
 
KaraBulut said:
He claims hes straight

Sorry, if he says he's straight it's because 1) he's straight or 2) he's not interested in you.
Click to expand...
Sorry, I'll have to totally disagree with this. There are lots of reasons a guy would claim he's straight. He might be interested in you, but cannot or does not want to come out of the closet, or hasn't accepted himself yet. I had a situation where I was just starting to come out to myself, and I realized this coworked just went all goo-goo eyed whenever he saw me or came near me--and he just about passed out when I came up to him and he turned around and realized it was me. This was not projection on my part (he was much younger and I'm generally not into that); he clearly had a huge crush on me (later on I learned about the whole Dad/Son thing). In any case, this guy was so deep in the closet because he belonged to this right-wing church that taught homosexuality was bad and was probably giving him lessons on how to repress his feelings. Obviously, this went nowhere between us. I bring it up only because he claimed he was straight and he was very, very clearly gay (and I don't mean because he was limp-wristed or anything).

KaraBulut said:
I think he's in the closet and still denying his feelings and telling himself that he's straight

He may be. Or you could be trying to project your feelings onto him. Either way, it's a waste of your time.

im so shy and afraid of rejection

If you're afraid of rejection, then why are you wasting your time with a situation that is going to get you a big dose of rejection?
Click to expand...

I was going to agree with these statements (it's a waste of time), but the OP's subsequent posts made it sound like there might be interest.

My guess is that it will progress very, very slowly, though. I think you should move on, but if you have persistence and time...
 
Originally Posted by KaraBulut
He claims hes straight

Sorry, if he says he's straight it's because 1) he's straight or 2) he's not interested in you.

Sorry, I'll have to totally disagree with this. There are lots of reasons a guy would claim he's straight.

Honestly, if someone tells me they are straight, I'm not going to argue with them or look for reasons why they aren't what they say they are.

It's no different from the straight people who try to convince gay people that they're not really gay.

At some point, it is just best to accept the person's self-perception and move on with your life.

We're looking for love, not recruits. :-)
 
I asked him how he got my number..

his response "I stalk you"

then his next text..."lmao I'm totally kidding I got it from ****"

He's being nice! :O
 
Mannie said:
He texted me!!!

he asked my friend for my number...he asked about some school trip...he said I should come!



:P
Click to expand...

This is heart warming :)

But, hey... Don't get your hopes too high. It might be that he's just being friendly. Have a he's-a-straight-guy mentality and don't fall for him, yet.

Good luck, and keep us updated!
 
KaraBulut said:
We're looking for love, not recruits. :-)
Click to expand...

What? You're not part of the Secret Brotherhood? You know, the group the right wing fundamentalists think are trying to recruit our young str8 boys? :p

Yeah, I basically agree with you: if someone self-reports as str8, they're probably not worth going after.

But just don't be surprised if a month, a year, or a decade later he suddenly self-reports as gay.
 
KaraBulut: We're looking for love, not recruits.
Lube: What? You're not part of the Secret Brotherhood?

Nope, no recruiting. I could be convinced to help with the screening physicals, though.
 
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