Good luck on your next step... Now remember, now that he has contacted you... don't get over excited and clingy, be smooth about how you act around him. If nothing sexual happens... at least you will have him close to you.
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Crushing On A Closet Case
- Thread starter Mannie
- Start date
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
>>>If nothing sexual happens... at least you will have him close to you.
That might be precisely what he doesn't want. How many threads are on this board about being in close proximity to friends who aren't gay, or are gay but "he doesn't like me like that", and it drives them insane?
Lex
That might be precisely what he doesn't want. How many threads are on this board about being in close proximity to friends who aren't gay, or are gay but "he doesn't like me like that", and it drives them insane?
Lex
Nothing has happened. Unfortunately there is no class this week. I won't see him in person until Thursday the 21st.
Like I said before:
He asked my friend for my number (which made me jump up and down like a little girl because he knew my name)
He texted me and asked me If I was going on a trip.
I said no
He said me and my friend should sign up and come.
Then he told me I should go and where to sign up.
I havent texted him since that day because just like soleone said I don't want to sound so clingy and annoying. Patience kills.
I was going to add him on my new MySpace but thought maybe that was too "omg i texted him one time and hes already adding me blah blah blah"
I hate waiting...should I add him as a friend? or just wait......until.
PS. sorry for making this sound so childish LOL "myspace, texting".
Like I said before:
He asked my friend for my number (which made me jump up and down like a little girl because he knew my name)
He texted me and asked me If I was going on a trip.
I said no
He said me and my friend should sign up and come.
Then he told me I should go and where to sign up.
I havent texted him since that day because just like soleone said I don't want to sound so clingy and annoying. Patience kills.
I was going to add him on my new MySpace but thought maybe that was too "omg i texted him one time and hes already adding me blah blah blah"
I hate waiting...should I add him as a friend? or just wait......until.
PS. sorry for making this sound so childish LOL "myspace, texting".
CanadianGuy
Porn Star
Sounds like there could be something. Myspace and texting is the world we youngins live in.
texan_slant
Sex God
The friend who wrote the note for you...what did the note say?
Take a step back and remember what he told you - that he is straight. Unless he tells you otherwise, don't read anything more into it than need be. Even if someone is gay and in the closet, and say that they are straight, they aren't ready to address it yet.
Don't forget that a lot of straight guys like gay attention/flirtation. It is also better to have any type of communication come from you rather than from a friend. Something is bound to get lost in the communication.
One last thing - if this *does* end up working out - even as a good friendship - kudos!
To me - if some
Take a step back and remember what he told you - that he is straight. Unless he tells you otherwise, don't read anything more into it than need be. Even if someone is gay and in the closet, and say that they are straight, they aren't ready to address it yet.
Don't forget that a lot of straight guys like gay attention/flirtation. It is also better to have any type of communication come from you rather than from a friend. Something is bound to get lost in the communication.
One last thing - if this *does* end up working out - even as a good friendship - kudos!
To me - if some
He said the trip is sometime in March.
My friend's note was about an inside joke they had. (Something about them being porn stars LOL)
He never told me he was straight..he told my friend that.
I hope that it works out in some way. I mean..would you invite someone to a trip If you didn't like them in some way? The trip would require a few hours of driving and would be all day...he invited me.
My friend's note was about an inside joke they had. (Something about them being porn stars LOL)
He never told me he was straight..he told my friend that.
I hope that it works out in some way. I mean..would you invite someone to a trip If you didn't like them in some way? The trip would require a few hours of driving and would be all day...he invited me.
Well I went to class finally after a week off. He's really shy haha. I was like "hey i need to talk to you" to the instructor and he looked at me thinking I said it to him. Then I asked the instructor about the trip and he just stayed behind her quietly. After I talked to the instructor he went and talked to her. HAHA he's afraid of me? I mean he obviously likes me in some way still because he signed up to go on the trip right after me. In class he sat next to me but was taking a test. I wish I could have talked to him. I text him but he never replied..idk If he doesnt have texting anymore or what.
Why would he be shy / afraid of me If he only wants to be friends? I don't know. Anyways we are going to be together on the trip and the instructor said we would be going in vans and that we would be able to explore the aquarium without chaperones (i'll be alone with him) the car ride there is 2 hours btw. So basically I'll be sitting next to him for 4 hours total in a van and alone with him for a few hours in between...
I don't know why he's so shy but he's been getting better by sitting next to me and inviting me to the trip. I think he's waiting for me to start talking.
Why would he be shy / afraid of me If he only wants to be friends? I don't know. Anyways we are going to be together on the trip and the instructor said we would be going in vans and that we would be able to explore the aquarium without chaperones (i'll be alone with him) the car ride there is 2 hours btw. So basically I'll be sitting next to him for 4 hours total in a van and alone with him for a few hours in between...
I don't know why he's so shy but he's been getting better by sitting next to me and inviting me to the trip. I think he's waiting for me to start talking.
Lube
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You're probably right. If he's shy around you, and hangs near you but doesn't make the first move to speak ... he's probably a shy guy with the hots for you but cannot say anything. Don't move to quickly or you might scare him off.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Good luck and keep us posted.
Eternaldarkness
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Mannie, Mannie, Mannie! You're making too much assumptions, assuming things way way ahead of things.
You need to look into more things before you conclude "he's a closet gay guy who's in denial." or "he must be gay because he has gay tendencies and everyone else think he is."
Heres a few things you should know.
1. Never assume. It makes and ASS out of U and Me.
2. He can be the most flamboyant and can still be straight. So what if he acts gay?
3. Okay, so maybe he IS gay. That doesn't mean he's interested. Not all gay guys need to be interested in any other gay.
4. Ever considered he's in a relationship already? It could be a hidden relationship that you dont know yet.
5. Maybe you're being a little too obvious about your feelings and is making him really uncomfortable. If I have no interest in a person and I know they are interested in me, I wouldn't feel too comfortable either.
I didn't want to be rude. I am sorry if I had offended you. I am simply just letting you know that you cannot assume things like this. Whatever the reason, you need to respect him about his decision.
Imagine if he is gay, and is a JUBber.
You need to look into more things before you conclude "he's a closet gay guy who's in denial." or "he must be gay because he has gay tendencies and everyone else think he is."
Heres a few things you should know.
1. Never assume. It makes and ASS out of U and Me.
2. He can be the most flamboyant and can still be straight. So what if he acts gay?
3. Okay, so maybe he IS gay. That doesn't mean he's interested. Not all gay guys need to be interested in any other gay.
4. Ever considered he's in a relationship already? It could be a hidden relationship that you dont know yet.
5. Maybe you're being a little too obvious about your feelings and is making him really uncomfortable. If I have no interest in a person and I know they are interested in me, I wouldn't feel too comfortable either.
I didn't want to be rude. I am sorry if I had offended you. I am simply just letting you know that you cannot assume things like this. Whatever the reason, you need to respect him about his decision.
Imagine if he is gay, and is a JUBber.
Have you even read the whole thread?
How can I be making him uncomfortable? He sat next to me, he invited me to the trip, he asked for my number. I haven't been showing him any feelings at all. I don't even look at him in class yet he stares at me constantly.
I don't think you were being rude, just helpful. Some of your points were vaild, others not so much in this situation. I want to let you know that I'm not coming across as desperate. I act 100% normal around him. My friend is in the class with me so me and her always laugh and talk. I don't act shy or clumsy around him LOL!
He's interested in me (in some way) because why would he invite me on a trip, ask for my number, sit next to me, constantly stare at me..and be too afraid to talk to me in person? Either he wants to be friends or maybe experiment? I'm pretty sure he's not madly in love with me haha but I know he wants something from me and hes too shy to even talk! :O
BTW we're going to be alone with each other on the trip. He didn't invite my friend to come which I thought was odd? The instructor said that we could go on our own (without a chaperone and all that) so we'll be alone together all day and be sitting with each other on the ride home (in the dark lmao).
How can I be making him uncomfortable? He sat next to me, he invited me to the trip, he asked for my number. I haven't been showing him any feelings at all. I don't even look at him in class yet he stares at me constantly.
I don't think you were being rude, just helpful. Some of your points were vaild, others not so much in this situation. I want to let you know that I'm not coming across as desperate. I act 100% normal around him. My friend is in the class with me so me and her always laugh and talk. I don't act shy or clumsy around him LOL!
He's interested in me (in some way) because why would he invite me on a trip, ask for my number, sit next to me, constantly stare at me..and be too afraid to talk to me in person? Either he wants to be friends or maybe experiment? I'm pretty sure he's not madly in love with me haha but I know he wants something from me and hes too shy to even talk! :O
BTW we're going to be alone with each other on the trip. He didn't invite my friend to come which I thought was odd? The instructor said that we could go on our own (without a chaperone and all that) so we'll be alone together all day and be sitting with each other on the ride home (in the dark lmao).
silentalk
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Yeah, I would guess that something is going on there...
Being alone is a great chance, that is if he's interested. Do NOT waste it by getting nervous or shy. Give hints that you like him and see how it goes. I repeat, do NOT waste it, you might not get another chance.
Being alone is a great chance, that is if he's interested. Do NOT waste it by getting nervous or shy. Give hints that you like him and see how it goes. I repeat, do NOT waste it, you might not get another chance.
It's been a long time since I updated...
Nothing has happened still. I kind of gave up. I'm over him but I still deep inside want to try to see how far it will go.
We never went on that trip. I showed up the morning of it but I didn't see him so I went home because I only wanted to go because of him. The instructor said that he "had a b-day party to go to".
The thing with him is that he's WAY TOO SHY.
He's actually to shy / scared / nervous to talk to me.
BUT
he still does his non-stop staring and its really bugging me.
I just want him to start talking!!!
Example of his shyness:
I'm sitting at the instructors desk talking. My friend asks me "are you done with all of your work?". And the instructor says "yeah he's just hanging out". He waits in a desk staring because he's too shy/ nervous/ afraid to approach the desk! He needed to see the instructor to turn in assignments but instead my friend had to say "why don't you let him go?" and that's when I realized he had been sitting there waiting the whole time. I looked right at him (i was wearing sunglasses) and I said "oh well he could have said something."
I know everyone is probably thinking "he's not interested, he's straight."
I just have that BIG gaydar vibe coming from him and he won't stop staring at me like he wants to talk to me.
I remember about 2 weeks ago I asked him a question and he tried to keep the conversation going, instead he said the same thing twice and he was really nervous..
I'm to shy..someone please give me a good conversation starter!!! What should I do / say / wear??
I'm getting annoyed of getting all dressed up for school..usually I don't give a fuck and go in whatever BUT since he's been in class, I've been spending forever getting ready!!
Basically: It's not going anywhere UNLESS I do something, soon!
Nothing has happened still. I kind of gave up. I'm over him but I still deep inside want to try to see how far it will go.
We never went on that trip. I showed up the morning of it but I didn't see him so I went home because I only wanted to go because of him. The instructor said that he "had a b-day party to go to".
The thing with him is that he's WAY TOO SHY.
He's actually to shy / scared / nervous to talk to me.
BUT
he still does his non-stop staring and its really bugging me.
I just want him to start talking!!!
Example of his shyness:
I'm sitting at the instructors desk talking. My friend asks me "are you done with all of your work?". And the instructor says "yeah he's just hanging out". He waits in a desk staring because he's too shy/ nervous/ afraid to approach the desk! He needed to see the instructor to turn in assignments but instead my friend had to say "why don't you let him go?" and that's when I realized he had been sitting there waiting the whole time. I looked right at him (i was wearing sunglasses) and I said "oh well he could have said something."
I know everyone is probably thinking "he's not interested, he's straight."
I just have that BIG gaydar vibe coming from him and he won't stop staring at me like he wants to talk to me.
I remember about 2 weeks ago I asked him a question and he tried to keep the conversation going, instead he said the same thing twice and he was really nervous..
I'm to shy..someone please give me a good conversation starter!!! What should I do / say / wear??
I'm getting annoyed of getting all dressed up for school..usually I don't give a fuck and go in whatever BUT since he's been in class, I've been spending forever getting ready!!
Basically: It's not going anywhere UNLESS I do something, soon!
beatleshead
Porn Star
nothing will happen till one of you start. pick a day at school. just go up to him and force him to talk. dont give up on the conversation just keep it going. he will adjust and start to warm up. ask em if he wants to hang out or something. SOMEONE MUST DO SOMETHING...otherwise you'll just be stuck.
terrorblade
Virgin
If he's in denial, there's not much you can do. Just give him a clear signal that you're interested in him (a _very_ clear one) and let him make up his mind.
Lube
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Yes, exactly.
Get him to talk about his interests. Do you know of something that he likes? Pop culture? Sports? Shopping? Theatre/arts? TV show? He'll only be comfortable when he's talking about something he's interested in. Ask him what his favorite TV show or book or movie is, and go from there.
It'll either give you something to talk about, or you'll realize he's a total dud. Either way, you'll make progress and move on.
(Oh, and very shy guys can be a pain. Sometimes they're so into their own selves [what is everyone thinking about me?] that they don't ever think about you. Beware.)
Well nothing happened because I got huge projects and stuff for the end of the year..then summer came..never got to talk. Now the new school year begins and I have class with him again!!!! LMAO Omg.. its the same thing all over again..every week im to nervous to talk to him..seriously this is frightening me. I'm a very loud and talkative person with my friends..ive never been this shy with someone ever and its not like hes an intimidating guy.hes really quite and shy. god, just give me a line to start the conversation?? it kind of helps that i have the class with my friend this year. shes makes me laugh so hard in class and he seems to really want to join in
like in class one day i had to pee really bad, I had no idea where the bathroom was so I asked the instructor and my friend was like "omg you have to walk a mile just to pee" and i heard him laugh!! i feel bad because he has no friends in the class. we're friends on myspace i've left him like two dumb comments before like "nice profile" or "hey whats up" and he never responded but for his birthday i left him a really funny comment and he thanked me. Hmmm this creeps me out..ive never had this much trouble trying to talk to someone and the funny thing is that hes two years older than me but he acts kinda chilidish..like even if we got together or hung out i cant imagine ever making out with him.. lmao
like in class one day i had to pee really bad, I had no idea where the bathroom was so I asked the instructor and my friend was like "omg you have to walk a mile just to pee" and i heard him laugh!! i feel bad because he has no friends in the class. we're friends on myspace i've left him like two dumb comments before like "nice profile" or "hey whats up" and he never responded but for his birthday i left him a really funny comment and he thanked me. Hmmm this creeps me out..ive never had this much trouble trying to talk to someone and the funny thing is that hes two years older than me but he acts kinda chilidish..like even if we got together or hung out i cant imagine ever making out with him.. lmao
Here's my opinion:
I say just don't do anything. The absolute last thing you'd ever want to do is show that you're interested in him. Just try and make friends with him first.
I had a friend that was extremely shy and childish. And he said he was straight but every one of his friends I talked to said they had a feeling. Then one day I asked him if he was gay and told him I liked him. He never talked to me since. Haha, so thats why you shouldn't tell him that you're interested.
I say just don't do anything. The absolute last thing you'd ever want to do is show that you're interested in him. Just try and make friends with him first.
I had a friend that was extremely shy and childish. And he said he was straight but every one of his friends I talked to said they had a feeling. Then one day I asked him if he was gay and told him I liked him. He never talked to me since. Haha, so thats why you shouldn't tell him that you're interested.
