Curious... Is my friend too? - Discussion

[xtc99992003]

Ok... If you'd like to you can read up on my past thread feel free. Though I will worn you it is lengthy.
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=191013

This new thread is for me to share my experiences... I'm not looking for advice anymore. I'm just here to talk with others about my interactions with my best friend.

Refresher for all the new readers. Although you won't get as great of a sense of understanding by just reading this.

My friend, who is younger than me, tends to have little bi/gay tendencies. We discuss things very openly... the topics range greatly. From what girls we find hot (he does have a girlfriend by the way), our family problems, I share porn with him over the cell phone since he doesn't have the internet,... basically normal stuff. We do talk about the things we'd like to try sexually. I'm clearly the more adventurous one with this topic. We even discuss over text messages our loads/jacking off... typically while we do it or just after. I've suggested somethings for him to try (anal play, tasting his cum, jacking off in front of the mirror). He has tried some of them... or actually shares/admits (after a while) it with me, however his inconsistencies with when he tries them makes me believe he hides a lot from me.

We've recently been discussing the topic of jacking off in the same room with or around each other. Like most things acts like it would be awkward or weird, but when I ask if he has actually done them he either tells me flat out whether he has or not BUT sometimes says he doesn't want to talk about it or just doesn't reply and plays dumb like he doesn't remember what we talked about.

But he has admitted to me he has jacked off in my room twice. Once I left him at my house while I went to do something in town and I said feel free to look up porn and here's the lube if you need it. I asked after if he jacked off. He said no. Then about a month ago he admits to me when I was taking a shower he jacked off on my bed (I was jacking off in the shower at the exact same time). He said he actually got some cum on my bed. I openly said it was hot to me. The fact someone was jacking off in the same place I do is what got me going. He then tells me that day I left him alone he jacked off he just didn't tell me. Again another reason I feel he doesn't share everything he tries/does.

Back on the topic of jacking off with each other. I've told him how it's not weird for me. I've done it with friends when I was younger and my brothers friends doing it just out of sight from each other. So I just asked him if he had done it before. He says I don't want to talk about that. So... I feel he has. Just doesn't want to admit it. (some evidence to go with my theory that he is afraid of his feelings.)

Just days ago we discussed this below.

Here soon I'm getting a fleshlight. Which he is very eager to use. I told him to come over the weekend I plan on getting it so he can use it. I made him realize he may have to use it around me since I still live with my mom on the weekends when I come home from school. He kinda seemed unsure but still wants to use it. I told him like I've told him before I would never violate anyone unless they wanted to be violated. He knows this. But I did remember the next day that my mom will be on vacation that week. So we will have the whole house to ourselves.

I guess in about three weeks when I get the fleshlight we will see how things turn out. It should be interesting.

If anyone has any questions about things feel free to ask.

 

[Just_Believe18]

What kind of fleshlight are you getting?

 

[xtc99992003]

The pussy kind.

Like I've said before... (in the last thread) I'm straight. Just curious. So the pussy is more appealing.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Well there's more options than just the vagina.

Get the "Ice" one with the clear insert. That way, if you see him use it, you'll get to see his dick going in and out of the insert. And vice versa.

Ribbed, Super-ribbed, or bumpy?

 

[xtc99992003]

cum2me-
probably not... unless i know he is up for it.

Just believe-
Oh sorry... I thought you just meant the hole ha. But ya I'm definitely getting the ice variety. And I was told by someone on the net that has one to get the original. But from what I read one feels closer to a pussy than the original kind. So I don't know yet.

 

[xtc99992003]

And tonight we discussed my options with the fleshlight. He wants the wonderwave. Which is the one I want too... But I'm extremely sensitive and easily aroused so it would be a lot of sensations for me all at once. Take me a good while to get used to it. We talked about this and we said how easily we both get aroused. He said anytime he kisses his girlfriend he gets hard immediately. I told him I would be the same if I had the option. But generally I get hard at arousing things when I actually think about it. I can control it most of the time but once I start thinking too much it gets me.

But he says they aren't sexually active and limit it to kissing and very little groping. She knows he gets hard. Which he has explained he can't help it. (I should add I strongly dislike her... she is a freaking idiot. But she manages to use her ditzy qualities to her advantage so she's not totally stupid. However... I do love the fact she is jealous of me because I spend so much time with him. He replies/talks to me before her most of the time. And talks about things with me he doesn't with her.)

 

[xtc99992003]

Well we actually had a good conversation tonight. I talked about a lot of different things. We talked about the type of lube I need to get for the fleshlight. Suggestions? I think I'm going with the ID variety. Astroglide and gun oil are way too expensive. But should I just get one bottle or get the three pack?

He said he knew nothing about it. So I had to explain the differences in lubes and why you want use some with condoms and sex toys and all that. So I asked him if I had talked about the most sexual stuff and opened him up to more. He said I had. Which is really funny because I think I would be THE last person to share new sexual things with him or anyone for that matter. I mean... he's so green that I introduced him to the idea of lube... Wow... is all I can say.

So... all the thing's I've talked to him about in the past are mostly new things. But I thanked him for actually talking tonight... told him I was proud of him. He said thanks. He also expressed interest in seeing all the different sex toys for males and females.

And yes... some people don't think this new thread was necessary or in the right spot but I asked and no one told me specifically where to put it. If you don't like it... just stop commenting. I did what I was told I could do.

 

[thephoenix]

And yes... some people don't think this new thread was necessary or in the right spot but I asked and no one told me specifically where to put it. If you don't like it... just stop commenting. I did what I was told I could do.

Those people must have taken the short bus to school cause right at the top of the page says: "Coming Out, Relationships & Bisex Talk Share your story. Get advice. No flame zone!"

BUT

In their defense: in their own catty way, they may be looking out for you. The situation you're in is painful, confusing, exhausting, and may just drive you to the point of figurative insanity. Speaking from experience, dude, it starts to wear on you and some people who have traveled the road before know. But I get wanting to share and let out your emotions. Ignore everyone who doesn't like it and they can do the same.

 

[xtc99992003]

Ya I understand they think I'm going down the same path they are. Which it is possible. But not every situation is the same. So I can't just stop what's going on. He would think something is weird if I didn't talk about this stuff with him... it's become normal at this point.

And by the way... he got hurt at practice. So he couldn't go to school today. I was originally going to go over to his house so he wasn't left alone but it didn't work out (has a concussion and pretty severe shoulder injury... not smart for him to be alone). I'm not sure if it was the concussion or maybe the drugs... or maybe he just wanted his friend over but he asked me very very often what I was doing and when I thought I would be on my way home (I was out of town). It reminded me of a little kid asking his parents when it was time for his friend to come over. Haha. So I'm guessing maybe a combination of all three maybe?

Any suggestions on the lube?

 

[acranmer00]

Hey!


just wanted to say i completely understand ur story! its way cute!

and i think that maybe if ur comfortable talking to him through texts, just ask him if he would ever be comfortable doing anything sexual with you! via txt


because i think as long as u still look at him in this way, it wont be time wasted!

 

[xtc99992003]

Well I've very subtly (sometimes not so much though) suggested things. Nothing directly though. He always claims it would be weird. So ya.

 

[acranmer00]

well maybe he just says "its weird" because he figures if he agrees that you'll think he's gay. so he could just be trying to protect his title! lol

 

[xtc99992003]

Well he is just plain moody at times. I mean we won't even be talking about any of this and he will just start going off. So I don't think he is really angry at the situation/feelings. Sure he might be afraid of them, but I don't think he is angry about it.

And ya... I think he is just afraid of what it all means. Honestly sex orientation/sexuality labels are a strange subject... so many double negatives and opinions no one is right. Which I've expressed to him before. When we first started talking about this stuff he even agreed with me on my definition of "gay". Someone being in love (emotional, not just physically) with someone else of the same sex.

And I'm beginning to think he is still working it all out in his head. He never had the thought of lube before I talked to him about it. I'm sure that's the same for prostate stimulation... which I guarantee he still tries occasionally because there are inconsistencies in what he has told me about trying it. It took me all of high school to figure it out... and I'm still not completely comfortable about it since it's not the norm ESPECIALLY in the area I'm from.

 

[acranmer00]

i no how you feel with the being shy and not wantin to tell him straight out i want to try things with you.



but i say it will be the best way to find out what he wants.

 

[xtc99992003]

Well I've been poking around trying to figure out what he wants... but he is so... I don't know. Hard to read I guess?

Anyway... I've been thinking... His birthday is coming up. If I had the balls and knew he wouldn't freak out I would offer something for him. I don't know how I would word it but basically a sexual favor if he wanted it. BUT I would never have the courage to ask.

 

[acranmer00]

well i think you should do it!


maybe not bluntly ask him if u dont want to. then just HEAVILY hint.

 

[xtc99992003]

Well he pretty much told me if I got one he was coming over and using it. I just had to tell him when I was getting it.

As far as my feelings for him. Strictly best friends... except for the physical attraction. I would be ok if "with benefits" tacked on to the title but I know that it's very sensitive. I have very good control of my emotions and dealing with relationships... I've actually had to tell myself (and a girl even) I couldn't date her because of the age difference (she is under 18 ). And it was the first girl I have an interest in and actually took it up to the "talking" stage. Most I'm too afraid to talk to.

But I know that if he wasn't at least a little interested in it all he wouldn't still be my friend or even talking to me most likely. And he doesn't see our friendship fading any. I made the comment about how friendships end unexpectedly sometimes. He said he didn't see it with our friendship. So... it's all very interesting.

 

[acranmer00]

pc3-42-- good point! haha but still there are guys who do that together and dont want to progress.




well xtc99992003 i wish you luck. im rooting for you!

 

[theFallenGod]

You are a good friend to this guy and most straight guys like having a male counterpart they can confide in about many different things that they can't do with their girlfriends or family members. You are that guy, You are his best friend.

The thing is you have made it pretty much known that there is something deeper on your end and he probably knows it. Which is why he is reluctant to share a lot of things for fear that you may get the wrong idea. Which it seems you might already be getting.

Odds are when you get your fleshlight he is either going to ask to borrow it or he is going to want to use it in privacy like in a bathroom or somewhere without you being in the room.

You guys seem to be very good, close friends and I am sure that if he was afraid of his feelings you would have been the first person he would have talked to about them considering that you are pretty much open, honest, and accepting of your own feelings.

 

[xtc99992003]

Oh he has already said he wants to feel comfortable and have complete privacy. I reassured him even if we had to be in the same area I would try to be as far away as possible and not bother him. He knows I'm not going to do anything unless he wants me to.

I understand where you're coming from. But he knows I wouldn't do anything (with the exception of a few harmless playful things) without his permission or acceptance. I disagree with you saying he would share everything with me. I know he keeps a lot from me. The inconsistencies are proof of that. Plus he has told me so. I'm not frustrated about it because I know he isn't comfortable with it. I do wish he was a little more open with me since I'm so open with him. I don't share everything... but I do share a lot though.