Curious... Is my friend too?

[Just_Believe18]

Are you kidding? I have respected his boundaries. If he says stop talking about it or he doesn't want to I do.

There's a difference between stopping and asking him again the next day. You aren't respecting his boundaries if you continuously press him on the subject. You spend so much time with him and force your sexual curiosities onto him when you could be doing it on a guy who openly wants guys. Years from now, you'll look back on this and realize how much time you wasted.

 

[gaytxn09]

Hey, dude. I feel your pain. I posted something similar (but also different) about a gay friend of mine, to whom I'm still terribly attracted. I can't change that. I try to make things normal...I avoid talking about sex or whatever. And things still are just awkward. I got in trouble because I congratulated him on a close Olympics race, and he yelled at me via email because he hadn't watched it yet. With some people you can only get so close. And that's the sad thing I've realized. He reached out to me only once. I did a great job then, but I took it as his wanting to be closer friends, and then I just screwed up from there. So go ahead and read my post about it (where I also got a lot of hate because of overanalysis and unwillingness to accept what's most likely true). Maybe you can get some insight from it? Just know that it's better to have a friend than to mess around with him. If you really say you don't want a relationship with him and just want to mess around, then choose another friend, one whose friendship you don't value so highly.

I hope I helped some...

gaytxn09

 

[954dude]

Keep talking it out, but don't force it. Let things happen naturally. Anything that feels too contrived gets complicated. Take your time, if this is what you want, you'll get it, no rush.

At the same time, you could find an openly gay/bi guy that is worth your time and effort.

 

[xtc99992003]

Ok... Thanks for being nice about it gaytxn09.

But I'm done. Like I've said like three times before. I'm not looking for people to tell me how to run my relationship with my friend nor am I really looking for advice.

I'm only talking about my experiences now. I'm only wanting simple conversation about these experiences. Not someone telling me I'm doing things wrong.

I will try one more time after this... if it doesn't happen I'm done with posting.

 

[xtc99992003]

Keep talking it out, but don't force it. Let things happen naturally. Anything that feels too contrived gets complicated. Take your time, if this is what you want, you'll get it, no rush.

At the same time, you could find an openly gay/bi guy that is worth your time and effort.

Eh... but I don't want to fool around with anyone else... I don't trust people. I read some pretty crazy shit on here about guys hooking up. And I'm not looking for a gay relationship.

And that's all I do... talk about it. I do ask what he thinks about it though. I however do not go around saying "hey we should give each other blowjobs!" or anything of the like. The only thing I've somewhat suggested would be trying jacking off around (not necessarily next to) each other.

 

[Lube]

He asked for help.
We offered it.
He declined it.
Then asked for it.
We offered it.
He declined it.
Then asked for it.
We offered it.
He declined it.
Then asked for it.

As I said, I have no problem with him writing a soap opera, or even living one. My complaint lies in the fact that it sits squarely in the advice section, when advice is clearly not what he wants.

An audience? Definitely.
Encouragement to continue on the path he's already chosen? You bet.
Actual advice? "Why you gotta be hating?"

Wrong forum for that.

Lex

Like I've said like three times before. I'm not looking for people to tell me how to run my relationship with my friend nor am I really looking for advice.

I'm only talking about my experiences now. I'm only wanting simple conversation about these experiences. Not someone telling me I'm doing things wrong.

Looks like Lex nailed it again.

 

[xtc99992003]

Then I said feel free to move it if it's not in the right location anymore. and yet... nothing has been done.

 

[gaytxn09]

I never meant that last sentence to come off as an order. I never meant that at all. I just wanted to show you that I have been in a similar situation, and maybe you could get some insight out of what happened to me in it. I don't pretend to know what's best for you. Only you can know that. But just know that the other guys here DO mean well. They only go by what you tell them, and they're trying to help you. It's also a bit frustrating to them because you initially asked for help and advice and then threw it back in their face. I'm glad you're now upfront about it just being a discussion because now I feel like maybe people won't be offended that they took time to try and help someone whose goal wasn't really advice but just a forum in which to speak. That's fine by me too. Just be upfront about it. I wish you the best in this situation, and I hope things work out for you.

 

[xtc99992003]

I never meant that last sentence to come off as an order. I never meant that at all. I just wanted to show you that I have been in a similar situation, and maybe you could get some insight out of what happened to me in it. I don't pretend to know what's best for you. Only you can know that. But just know that the other guys here DO mean well. They only go by what you tell them, and they're trying to help you. It's also a bit frustrating to them because you initially asked for help and advice and then threw it back in their face. I'm glad you're now upfront about it just being a discussion because now I feel like maybe people won't be offended that they took time to try and help someone whose goal wasn't really advice but just a forum in which to speak. That's fine by me too. Just be upfront about it. I wish you the best in this situation, and I hope things work out for you.

Ya I really did appreciate your reply/advice. It was actually done correctly in my opinion.

For about the last page or so I've said I had decided on my well... decision. Yet people continued to advise me when I was no longer asking for it and in a manner I didn't (and still don't) appreciate.

 

[rareboy]

So recently we've talked about jacking off in the same vicinity again. I told him my previous experiences of jacking off with other guys in the room (we never faced each other but we were like back to back or covered up) from when I was younger. And then I told him about my brother and his friends coming over and jacking off just out of sight from the rest of the group. So to me it really isn't that big of a deal except that initial first step of doing it.

But I said we should have a cum contest (either who can shoot the farthest or who can cum the most or maybe both). He was like no. I said well we wouldn't have to do it in the same room if thats the issue. We could just trade out of the room once one is done. (I then went on to describe what I said above to show it's not really that odd for guys to jack off around each other at least not for me since I've been around it a lot.)

So tonight I asked if he had jacked off with another guy. He said he didn't want to answer and I respect that since I told him in the past if he just doesn't want to share he doesn't have to and I will respect it. So I didn't press the issue. BUT... it does mean something has happened along the lines of jacking off with a guy before...

I really do think he is afraid of his feelings. Regardless of what everyone else thinks.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Do you ever stop?

If I were this guy, I'd be running so fast and far away that you'd never be able to bother me again.

You don't want advice. You are just blogging. Is that it?

Well here's some advice anyway.

Seek out some professional counselling because your behaviour is not healthy. It is obsessive and aggressive. It is just not normal.

Pull this kind of stuff with the wrong person, in the school or work setting and you'll be in serious shit.

This isn't about anything other than control and manipulation.

If you don't stop it, you are going to be trying to pull this same shtick for the rest of your life....and getting more and more frustrated and angry when you fail time after time, the same way you are failing time after time with this guy. What a waste of a life.

Just stop it .

Now.

Before you really do damage.

 

[xtc99992003]

Wow... Wish I would have never come here.

But I'm done. I'm definitely not here for someone to tell me I have issues (even if I really did have issues it's generally not acceptable to be so aggressive and condescending to someone with problems.)

You've lost a poster. Goodbye.

 

[G-Lexington]

It is if they continue flaunting their problems for six months.

We've tried gently steering you away.
We've tried warning you away.
We've tried stroinger messages.
And each time, you stayed the course.
I'll give you this - you're persistent.

You've been trying to get into the pants of this guy for almost a year. You still haven't succeeded. I will in fact guarantee that you will never succeed. The only possible explanation why this guy hasn't totally cut contact is that he enjoys the attention. If he wanted to do something sexual with you, it would've happened by now. It doesn't take eight months to get someone who is interested into bed.

For all I know, the challenge is more important than the prize. In that case, both of your enjoy your game of "c'mon-oh-I-dunno". Feel free to start a brand new thread, and keep people abreast of the daily/weekly/monthly developments. But do it in one of the other sections. Hot Topics, Gay Stories, whatever. Leave it out of this section, where people are going to assume you're looking for advice, rather than an appreciative audience.

Lex

 

[EvilForce2]

Wow... Wish I would have never come here.

But I'm done. I'm definitely not here for someone to tell me I have issues (even if I really did have issues it's generally not acceptable to be so aggressive and condescending to someone with problems.)

You've lost a poster. Goodbye.

Oh well. It's not like you won't be back when this whole thing blows up in your face or in yet another 11 months from now you are still doing the same schtick you have been trying to pull for the last 11 months without success. Think about it, how many experienced posters told you that you were wrong and you've ignored it? Now who do you think is really right? You or the 17 or 18 other experienced gay people?

 

[aneal_lingus]

You guys....seriously....leave him alone. XTC is telling us his story now. The time for advice is over. If you don't like where its going then please stop reading and leave it be. XTC and his friend are teens and have that kind of friendship where he can do what he does. If this bicurious boy only wants to experiment with his best friend who may also be open to the idea then great, awesome, keep us posted.

However, there is no need for a reader to leave negative comments everytime XTC makes a new post. I enjoy reading this thread because I like to see where its gonna go but because some of you are getting impatient or whatever your making it seem that this guy can't talk to anyone.

JUB is for people to come and talk about whatever. He obviously has something to talk about and doesn't need the NEGATIVITY.

So please cut it out. Thats Not Cool.

And XTC, whatever happens good luck.

(p.s. no reply is neccessary as I am not petty enough to argue on a forum. lets keep JUB a place for support and not a place to put others down.)

 

[Caeth]

sometimes when a person acts like an idiot it's best not to be nice but actually tell him what the fuck he's doing.

you're acting like an idiot.

 

[G-Lexington]

>>>JUB is for people to come and talk about whatever. He obviously has something to talk about and doesn't need the NEGATIVITY.

When people are doing something wrong or destructive, I don't consider telling them to cut it out "negativity". But then again, maybe I was raised differently.

Lex

 

[EvilForce2]

You guys....seriously....leave him alone. XTC is telling us his story now. The time for advice is over. If you don't like where its going then please stop reading and leave it be. XTC and his friend are teens and have that kind of friendship where he can do what he does. If this bicurious boy only wants to experiment with his best friend who may also be open to the idea then great, awesome, keep us posted.

However, there is no need for a reader to leave negative comments everytime XTC makes a new post. I enjoy reading this thread because I like to see where its gonna go but because some of you are getting impatient or whatever your making it seem that this guy can't talk to anyone.

JUB is for people to come and talk about whatever. He obviously has something to talk about and doesn't need the NEGATIVITY.

So please cut it out. Thats Not Cool.

And XTC, whatever happens good luck.

(p.s. no reply is neccessary as I am not petty enough to argue on a forum. lets keep JUB a place for support and not a place to put others down.)

Ah yes let's just give him fake cyber hugs, pats on the back, and "atta boys", for his actions even though it has disaster written all over it. After all this is a "support forum" right, a poster can do no wrong, and only needs reassurances that their unhealthy obsession is the right course of action.

I'm sorry but this poster isn't 18 months old and needs cooing over about how he made poo poo in the toidy pot. Do real friends just tell you what you want to hear, or actually tell it like it is?

Here XTC, this should make it all better now.... ((((((((((XTC))))))))))))

 

[xtc99992003]

Ok... So I see some people actually had interest in my thread. I will make a new one so my ever so wonderful audience (sarcasm if you cant tell... i only wish to share and talk about things. not seeking attention) wants more.

However if people wish to be assholes in the next one I truely am done. And I think this crosses the line and is disrespectful what has been said here... I said something smart not too long ago and it was removed.

I do want to know the proper place to post however... Straight and Bi dudes is kinda more for porn and the only other place that would apply is this section. BUT apparently this section is only for advice.

 

[theFallenGod]

Dude you started this thread looking for advice... it even asks so much in the title of the thread.

But as soon as people started telling you things you didn't want to hear, you basically clamped your hands over your ears and started whining and threatening to leave because people are not feeding into your little fantasy and trying to actually help. Basically acting like an immature little child.

But whatever dude. You are either going to sit around denying your gay fantasies you have over this guy and keep secretly wishing you could fuck him, or your going to cross the line and lose your friend or your going to grow up and move on. Nobody can tell you what to do because you obviously aren't listening to ANYONE, yourself, your friend or everyone you came looking for advice from.

And no one is being an asshole they are just trying to help you.... myself included.

 

[xtc99992003]

Alright... I'm not fighting you people anymore.

But I will say I'm not an idiot. I'm never going to cross the line unless he is up for it... which I will have to know for certain.

As far as what we talk about... we have a relationship that we can talk about sexual things and it's ok. It doesn't go any farther unless we would wish to act on it... which I'm still unsure of his feelings of... no matter what you people think.

And yes... being as rude and disrespectful as some of these people have been recently constitutes for the title asshole in my opinion.