Dad knows...

[anchihiro]

Hey, so whats your relationship like with your brother, does he know you're gay?

Is your dad does disown you and kick you out well then you is it possible to stay with your brother?

I actually dont think even though he's homophobic that your dad will kick you out. He's already been through the big reaction thing with the older one. I doubt he could stand to lose you too.

I think now would be the perfect time to re-educate him on what being gay is all about if his kids are all united. Maybe in time your step-brother would have the courage to come out too.

Maybe the first thing to do is speak to your older brother about this. Then at least he can help with your situation should things turn dire.

 

[HunterM]

Yeah...talk to your brother first is a great advice from Anchihiro. As with your dad, I wouldn't mention it to him. He may know you're gay. Give him time to process the info.

Be prepared to explain yourself to your dad if he initiates the conversation. Since you're dependent on him for financial support for now, I would just play it cool. If he does not bring up this subject, neither should you...until you're ready to move out on your own.

 

[operafan]

I'd let it alone. If your dad brings it up then you will need to discuss it. Obviously he knows you are gay. If there is a chance that he won't continue to support your education then you will have to figure out what to do next -- maybe he is processing at this point.

 

[Rand]

Puff,

I agree with the above comments. Focus on your classes and your work. Your father over-reacted the first time and, if he does know, is trying to just show his love and his worry about you both. By concentrating on your grades and bring in some spending money, you will keep the tension at a minimum.

Since you are in your first relationship - being a couple - go slow and ask your BF to understand your situation. You may have to walk the knife's edge - growing a relationship with your BF and not confronting your father.

Be true to yourself. Be considerate of your father. Celebrate your life.

Rand

 

[Bent-On]

Give your old man a break. Not only did both of his sons turn out to be gay, but one of them also has a fetish for men his own age.

Cradle-robbing is a concept that applies to both ends of the spectrum. Your father doesn't need to know about your relationship.

 

[heroesnhunks]

I felt much the same as you. Although I was out to friends and work acquaintances, I hadn't told my mon n dad until a few years ago when they FINALLY came right out and asked. Probably in part to a fear of their reaction. I was a late bloomer - didn't come out really til I was in late 20s and took another 10 years before they asked. I can't say you'll get the same reaction, but I was pleasantly surprised with their behavior since I told them. They've had my BF of 3 years over a number of times (even took out out to see Beach Blanket Babylon here in SF) and really like him. I don't know if they would have come around so fast if I'd told them at 26.

If it doesn't bother you not to have told Dad, I'd say run it past your brother and give Dad more time to drop hints or ask you outright if he really wants to know.

 

[SteveyBoyLA]

I like your first response: my sexuality is none of their concern. You don't ask him about his sex life.

Given your Dad's reaction to your Brother's coming out to him, and the not so subtle "cc" on the note he sent to you, I say let him "man up" by being the one to ask you.

 

[Jo-thin]

I like the fact that your dad is homophobic and racist, look at what happened, both his sons are gay and one of em is dating an African American, not that I'm saying its a bad thing but he can probably learn from this since this is his own family. I wish you the best of luck but I agree focus on school!