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Dan Savage is an idiot

Y

yeeeaaahhh

Sex God
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Does anyone else here enjoy Strange Love, the sex advice column in the Stranger?
Well, last week he just went off on this guy who wrote in about his "sexual desires" that he could not act on, talk about, etc. because of his religious faith. And Dan, rather than giving him really sound advice about how he could be gay AND a religious person, he went off on how this guy, starting with calling him a faggot, and then ranting about how religion is wrong and that he needs to ditch it and release the homosexuality within.

This is really fucking annoying to me, and I really want to punch Dan in the face (fortunately I live in Seattle so I might be able to do that someday)
I've already sent him a letter telling him that his advice sucked (if you want to do the same here, his email address is on the Strange Love page under "Contact")

But seriously... does anyone else actually believe that that is good advice... "to be gay you have to be an atheist"? Would any of you have listened to that when you were coming out?
And lastly, does anyone else think that Dan Savage has just lost his touch and should stop flapping his fucking mouth?
 
Uhh I'm pretty sure Dan never told the guy he had to be an atheist. He even suggested ways the guy could be religious and gay: "But you can have a boyfriend and Jesus, too" and "Find yourself a brand-new religion or sect, or jettison the bits of your current faith that don't work for you."

Yeah, it may not be what the guy (or you) wanted to hear, but it's far from saying that to be gay you must be an atheist.

And as a side note, I fully agree with Dan on this issue (although I wouldn't have called him a faggot). The guy is totally playing the boo-hoo-everyone-feel-sad-for-me victim/martyr card and needs to get this advice as bluntly and harshly as he can or else he's not going to even consider getting over himself.
 
"this so-called expert on sexuality thinks you should crawl down off that cross and find yourself a boyfriend already. ("Pray away" the gay? I'm guessing you're Christian, probably Catholic.) And if you experience a moment's anxiety the first time you stick your ass in the air—pull the Jesus stick out first!"
"you're just another closeted cocksucker with a martyr complex."
"And finally, CAEM, there is no God—you do realize that, right? No hell below us, above us only sky, etc."

No, he wasn't suggesting that he should ditch his religion at all.
 
"this so-called expert on sexuality thinks you should crawl down off that cross and find yourself a boyfriend already. ("Pray away" the gay? I'm guessing you're Christian, probably Catholic.) And if you experience a moment's anxiety the first time you stick your ass in the air—pull the Jesus stick out first!"
Click to expand...
I'll break it down for you: In the first part, he says "crawl down off that cross and find yourself a boyfriend already." Meaning, stop being a bitch and quit whining over something you have total control over, aka living a happy gay life. The second part is basically the same thing, just a little more "poetic."

"you're just another closeted cocksucker with a martyr complex."
Click to expand...
I don't see what this has anything to do with Dan telling the guy to ditch Christianity, but it's totally true.

"And finally, CAEM, there is no God—you do realize that, right? No hell below us, above us only sky, etc."
Click to expand...
Yes this is harsh, but Dan's stating his opinion. He didn't say "there is no God, and therefore you're an idiot because you follow some form of organized religion, so get rid of it so you can be a happy gay."
 
And I think Dan meant the last bit in jest ... I don't think he meant to give it as advice, just as being playful.

I like how you ignored the second question where Dan Savage actually called someone an intolerant fuck for not liking someone because they were overly religious. Yes, I am sure Dan Savage is completely anti-religion!
 
Oh no.....The Gay Mafia is attacking....Actually if you know the history of his writing you will know that Hey Faggot is his old tag line.

And yes he can be rough and abusive and is. That is what his coloum inchs are all about. Anyone who reads him knows this therefore anyone that rights him knows that that is the type of advise he gives. The writer knew before asking what the response was and Dan has a history of Mocking people that write in to "Prove a Point" about Dan.
 
I thought he was spot on, that guy was displaying a very annoying martyr complex. Besides, it is a valid point to say that gay people especially should take religion with a very large grain of salt -- after all we have personally experienced that religion is an instrument used to justify hatred and ignorance. Those strict dogmas are total BS and harmful.
I find Dan Savage's advice to be often pretty good. But it's part of his package that he is also entertaining and cutting. He states that often. The people who write or call there should know Dan says exactly what he thinks, as it seems the martyr-guy knew, since he mentioned right at the beginning of his letter that he knew Dan might completely disagree with him on religion.
 
And, that is why Dan Savage writes the way he does. It gets people to talk, it gets people to think, it gets people active, and far and beyond anything else it sells papers. Often times the concept of bad press means better ratings and sells than anything. The only way to truely send a message to him would not to write a letter to him, but rather not invest in him at all.

Rather or not Dan Savage advice is relevant is not important to me. Anyone who takes any stock in what advice columinst, Oprah, Jerry Springer, or any countless other people have to say should find a better source for advice. The last person on Earth I would write regarding such a problem is an advice columinst. How in the world is an advice columinst be able to address a problem in such a way that they can effectively help anyone. Perhaps the best thing Dan Savage could have said is please find a person in your community who is qualified and get help. Because there is no possible way that Dan Savage could have addressed this in a 100 words or 1,000 words that would have provided a way to bring about change.

Plus, one has to look at the qualifications of such people to begin with when they go to these people for advice to begin with. He would have probably had the same results or better had he called Madame Cleo.
 
Take it for what it is. Dan's right. I was raised Catholic, going to Cathlolic school for 9 yrs. They made me feel quilty the entire time, about one thing or another. Once i grew a set of balls it finally hit me too. Why would god make me this way, because he certainly did, then tell me I can't be happy the for the rest of my life with another guy. It's utter bullshit. This guy is headed for a life of misery if someone doesn't shake up his little world.

I'm not religious any longer but definitely spiratial. What, if anything, created me, I'm sure they or it loves me just as I am.
 
I was raised Catholic, but apparently without the guilt that's supposed to come with it, because I had very little trouble coming to grips with my sexuality, and my parents took it very well.

I would've thought Dan's advice was a bit harsh, but I felt the letter-writer was angling for a specific response. A response that Dan didn't want to give. The letter was a soft request for pity - "I have sexual desires, desires that my religion won't allow me to indulge in, my religion is too important for me to leave, so I'll never ever get to indulge in these sexual desires, and isn't that just awful?" Uh, sure.

Lex
 
Great point Lex, I do agree with you that the letter writer was going for a specific response.

"Based on what my friend has told me, I know you have little respect for religious practices and beliefs. However, these desires are not exactly something I can talk about with other members of my spiritual community. And while I am currently seeking counseling related to other issues, I was wondering what a so-called expert on sex and sexuality would have to say."

The letter writer had a pretty damn good idea exactly what kind of response he would receive from Dan Savage. I wouldn't be surprised in the least if this was some kind of hoax.
 
This is sad. I just read my first book by Dan Savage called The Commitment and really enjoyed the book. He is a great writer and I recommend the book. But now my opinion of him is low. That "advice" is just shitty especially considering that he is giving it to someone currently seeking counseling. Hopefully being called a "faggot" and more less told to ditch his religion doesn't have a negative impact on this 20 yr old that's just trying to figure it all out.
 
1st of all his collum is syndicated, it's everywhere!
2ndly i love his advice
thank you, & good night!
 
yeeeaaahhh said:
Does anyone else here enjoy Strange Love, the sex advice column in the Stranger?
Well, last week he just went off on this guy who wrote in about his "sexual desires" that he could not act on, talk about, etc. because of his religious faith. And Dan, rather than giving him really sound advice about how he could be gay AND a religious person, he went off on how this guy, starting with calling him a faggot, and then ranting about how religion is wrong and that he needs to ditch it and release the homosexuality within.

This is really fucking annoying to me, and I really want to punch Dan in the face (fortunately I live in Seattle so I might be able to do that someday)
I've already sent him a letter telling him that his advice sucked (if you want to do the same here, his email address is on the Strange Love page under "Contact")

But seriously... does anyone else actually believe that that is good advice... "to be gay you have to be an atheist"? Would any of you have listened to that when you were coming out?
And lastly, does anyone else think that Dan Savage has just lost his touch and should stop flapping his fucking mouth?
Click to expand...

That’s actually a large part of why I find religion to be so funny. If there is something you don’t like you either ignore it, change religions/ give it up, or make your own.


And no you don’t have to be an atheist to believe, you can just do the above.
 
I'm a big fan and thought this reply was his usual direct and no-bullshit self.
 
Opening this column with hey faggot was a throwback to when he first started savage love, he has been trying to reclaim the word faggot from the homophobes for quite some time.

He uses it perfectly here stripping the martyr of all his noble self sacrafice and talking to him the way you whould expect from Dan, one faggot to the other.
 
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