Dates

[rareboy]

But if you take it from a traditional standpoint the top should pay.

OK. I'll bite. Why?

 

[KaraBulut]

A practical answer:

If the date is mediocre, split the bill.

If the date is going well, "I'll pay this time. You pay next time". Solves the issue and sends the message, "I want to see you again".

 

[hylas]

i pay or we split if i date a fellow student. i kinda expect him to pay if he earns properly.

but yeah... the phrasing implies some funny (aka "traditional", aka dated) views on gender roles.

 

[Kennylingus]

I've never once paid. Sometimes I offered though.

 

[tonyboy]

When you go on a date with a guy, who pays?...And if your in a relationship and yall go out to dinner or to the movies, or wherever who pays?

Because In a straight relationship the Man is expected to pay, and if the woman pays its a negative thing.....I say if yall split that bill 50 50 or pay for your share thats fine.

In a gay relationship or date....Personally i think yall should take turns unless 1 guy just wants to or insists on paying....But if you take it from a traditional standpoint the top should pay.

Holy cow man...
First of all.. if two guys go out then they share the cost of the night.

if its' a date, well then the one that asks the other out should pay..

I find it so very strange that you say the 'top' should pay.. Like who knows who may be the top anyway?

Traditionally when a straight guys asks a girl out, well the guy pays.. been that way for a long, long time man..
And if two gay guys go out for a night, it's split..

 

[rareboy]

The cardinal rule is that whoever invites the other out should pay for the evening.

I suspect this thread was all about impressing upon us poor homos the importance of conforming to stereotypical roles based on atavistic notions of how society should work.

 

[altlover85]

This whole top and bottom crap is garbage. I don't know why you're thinking that that's the way it should be.

I say if there is a significant income gap, then the one with more money should pay 90% of the time. I also think if you aren't paying then you shouldn't suggest expensive places to go eat.

If you both make the same amount of money then you can either take turns or come up with a system. Some people pay for meals while the other person pays for bills. This is in more of a relationship context.

 

[TX-Beau]

Well if we're going to do this traditionally. The man payed traditionally because the woman had no job.

Money as an expression of gender inequality. The man should also wear the pants, earn the income, and keep the woman barefoot and pregnant.

So how does that apply to gay guys? It doesn't. Gay men were not traditionally allowed to "date." So the traditional answer is, no one pays, because all of you should be hiding in the closet.

On a more realistic note. I don't agree that in a relationship the one making more money should do most of the paying. If the guy with the money wants to do something really expensive, alright. His idea, his responsibility for pulling it off.

But if it's just things like dinner and a movie, in my relationship at least, we both pay, even though we don't make the same amount of money. Sometime he does, sometimes I do. Depends of the context.

 

[georgeguntherglass]

I've always felt that whoever does the inviting should do the paying, but I like the idea KaraBulut wrote. I'll pay this time, and you pay the next time. Really, it's about both parties feeling comfortable with the situation. If I'm dating a guy that wants to pay EVERY time, then I'd let him. And feel good about it.

 

[MrEleven]

My boyfriend and I take turns. I'll jump in and say I'll pay this time, he'll do the same next time. No issue really.

Right now I'm living across the country, so when I fly up to see him on weekends, he has been paying more often since I paid to fly. But thankfully as of next week, this won't be an issue anymore.

And if you think the top should pay...what happens to vers relationships? You pay the night you plan to top? haha