Dating a Bisexual guy

[LA2010]

I'm in a relationship with a Bi guy, but I just feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick. He still dates women and I guess I feel like the "other woman" in a hetro relationship. So would you all date a bisexual man?

 

[quasar]

Ooooooooooh, fuck.

Bad Ashy! Bad boy!

I will remind you all that we do not allow 'Newbies' threads to be hijacked or flamed!

 

[Ares]

I'm in a relationship with a Bi guy, but I just feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick. He still dates women and I guess I feel like the "other woman" in a hetro relationship. So would you all date a bisexual man?

If you are in a relationship, why is he dating anyone else, regardless if it's a woman or man?

If you want to be in an exclusive relationship and he doesn't, it's time to re-evaluate your situation.

 

[Jersey Domino]

Ooooooooooh, fuck.

Damn man you took the words right out of my mouth.

Oh and is there any popcorn left?

 

[LoveIsNow]

I'm in a relationship with a Bi guy, but I just feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick. He still dates women and I guess I feel like the "other woman" in a hetro relationship. So would you all date a bisexual man?

Why is he dating other people? That's the problem. I don't think the fact that they're women is relevant.

Of course I would be in a loving monogamous relationship with a bi guy. I mean he gets to chose not only from all the gay and bi men in the world, but all the straight and bi women, too, and he still only wants to be with me. That would be totally awesome.

 

[The Yattering]

Speaking as a bisexual guy, your partner's sexual ethics are utterly repugnant, and I'd kick him to the curb so fast he'd be kissing concrete before he even realised we were over.

 

[Ares]

I mean he gets to chose not only from all the gay and bi men in the world, but all the straight and bi women, too.

While many bi guys do think that, back in reality, things are a little different.

 

[quasar]

Thread moved from HT to CO&R after discussion with OP.

 

[z4wf11]

While many bi guys do think that, back in reality, things are a little different.

Yes, I'm getting tired of reading about the assumption that bi guys are somehow so different from anyone else. Commitment is commitment, and bi, straight, and gay men have to decide to commit (or not) to a relationship just the same. The problem as stated by the OP is not that his man is bi, but that he wants to have an open relationship and continue dating other people. Sounds like a mismatch, given that the OP doesn't want the same. It's just that simple.

 

[LoveIsNow]

While many bi guys do think that, back in reality, things are a little different.

You misquoted me. There's no period there, and there's a whole second half to that sentence, and it's the more important one.

 

[TrailRider86]

Speaking as a bisexual guy, your partner's sexual ethics are utterly repugnant, and I'd kick him to the curb so fast he'd be kissing concrete before he even realised we were over.

2nd. If you two have decided to be exclusive then he needs to only be seeing you. Talk to him about it.

 

[gambit22121]

I agree with LoveIsNow. You're in a relationship. Therefore, he shouldn't be screwing around with either sex. If you're not in a relationship, then he can fool around with whoever/whatever he wants to.

 

[Ares]

You misquoted me. There's no period there, and there's a whole second half to that sentence, and it's the more important one.

Yeah I understood the point of your post (which I think is a sweet sentiment btw).

I bolded the "all"s because that was the part I was responding to. Many bi guys think they get the choice of all men and all women, but back in reality, their options are a bit narrower.

 

[LoveIsNow]

Yeah I understood the point of your post (which I think is a sweet sentiment btw).

I bolded the "all"s because that was the part I was responding to. Many bi guys think they get the choice of all men and all women, but back in reality, their options are a bit narrower.

True dat, but on the other hand I know plenty of gay guys who take the "there are no straight guys only guys who haven't met me" attitude, and plenty of straight guys who think every woman wants them (even lesbians), and plenty of cocky hyper-sexual women who think they can have any men. I don't think it's necessarily a bi guy thing, but I agree that it's not attractive.

 

[Horse90]

It's an individual thing, not because he's bi. Think from the perspective of the woman he's dating, she'd be in the exact same situation as you, theoretically.
And can we quit slandering the bi guys? I know plenty of people, regardless of orinetation, who do exactly this. I'm bi and wouldn't ever dream of cheating or doing anything outside of relationship. People hinting that all bi guys are like this is like me hinting all 'gay' guys are femmes who wear makeup, love fashion, speak in whiny voices and carry manbags...

 

[Eagle653]

So would you all date a bisexual man?

The question isn't why "you all" would date a bisexual man. The question you need to ask yourself is why YOU would date a bisexual man. It is you who needs to make these decisions.

What I'm getting from your brief post is that the problem is not that he's bisexual. The problem is he's dating the field, perhaps mixed up, and you're getting swept up in his confusion. That, to me, is more a problem with this one man, rather than the (incidental) fact that he's bisexual.

 

[saymyname]

This has nothing to do with him being bisexual. It's a monogamy vs. non-monogamy (open relationships, polyamory) issue.

 

[rareboy]

I'm in a relationship with a Bi guy, but I just feel like I'm getting the short end of the stick. He still dates women and I guess I feel like the "other woman" in a hetro relationship. So would you all date a bisexual man?

As Freud said, 'There are no accidents'.

 

[AlmondMilk]

If I were ever in some relationship let it be bi or gay male or female, I wouldn't stand for him/her dating someone else while with me. If I wasn't feeling it, I'd just say that. We wouldn't be dating anymore.

I don't know. To me it seems like allowing your partner to seek other partners on the side would be a recipe for disaster in the relationship. Just because your boyfriend is bisexual does not mean it's ok for him to go dating with other people. I mean, if you're fine with it, then fine. But to use that sort of excuse wouldn't be tolerable to me.

I guess I'd be ok if he wanted to hook up with someone if our relationship was solid, but still...I think I'd like to be present while he did his thing with the other person.

 

[saymyname]

I've spent probably the last 15 years trying to get straight the dif between 'dating', 'seeing each other', 'hooking up', 'relationship', etc ... my point is just that if you're 'dating' but want monogamy, talk to him about where you want the relationship to go & where he wants to go too. he might not have a clue you see this is as something more serious (that is if you do). if you don't like the answer, DTMF. I don't think this is just a bi thing.

Well said, man. I think people need more understanding of this... it's like, if you go on a date with someone 3 or 4 times, are you dating them? Possibly. Does that mean it's monogamous, or that you're in a relationship, or that you aren't allowed to see other people (unless someone has pitched this idea)? No... There's a difference between dating and being in a relationship. You can even be in a relationship and simply fuck people on the side. A lot of people do this. You can even be in an OPEN relationship where you can have multiple lovers, not just fuck buddies. Or both. There's all sorts of options besides monogamy, you know. I also think hooking up can be very, very confusing. When you start hooking up with someone often, it becomes sort of unclear as to if you're just having casual sex together, or if you're starting to date - a good way to tell is to see if you want to hang out with this person other than when you're having sex. Or if he comes to see you for something other than sex.