It’s been a while since the last time I posted but this is something that has been eating me alive for a while and I need some advice from the community since I don’t have many people to talk to about it.
I am a 32 year old virgin (by choice) and have met a guy on Instagram who I kinda liked and it turned out the feeling was mutual. So we dated for 3 weeks and then I apologized that I could not continue on with him due to his personality (insecure, needy, moody, played mind games to get me hooked, etc...) so I friendzoned him. Something I should not have done as he remained to be clingy and started flaunting his Grindr hookups every other day and started chasing me on Scruff, Growlr and Grindr until I developed feelings for him again. We dated again and the first week was perfect because he kept saying that the thought of me kept him awake all night and that he had never masturbated ever since we started dating again. He was just acting weird and his actions didn’t match his words. One day he’s like “let’s take it slow and not rush” the same day at night he’s like “hey, let’s talk roles and sexual expectations” and on the next dates he makes weird moves as if he wanted me to kiss him (we agreed on no anal for the time being). Then, he started playing his mind games again and called me messy for not dressing for him in a certain way and started being passive aggressive until I gave him the silent treatment for a whole day because I was over his childish behavior. The next day I logged into my dating app accounts to delete them with the intention of being ready to talk things out with him and start committing and guess what? He was online. I wrote him a text message with closure and blocked him everywhere and we have never talked since then.
Now the problem is, in one of our dates he flaunted some of his hookups of which one of them was a guy I went to school with and he said it was a very bad experience and one of his most regrettable hookups (happened two years before we even knew each other existed). After leaving him, I can’t stop picturing scenes of them getting naked and all which made me feel insecure. Btw, I’m still a virgin because my guts got the best of me and I found it difficult to make a move on him.
Do you guys think I did the right thing by dumping him again? Also, how do you get over the retroactive jealousy and stop picturing him in his hookups. I’m totally over him as a boyfriend but those images just wont leave my mind.
I am a 32 year old virgin (by choice) and have met a guy on Instagram who I kinda liked and it turned out the feeling was mutual. So we dated for 3 weeks and then I apologized that I could not continue on with him due to his personality (insecure, needy, moody, played mind games to get me hooked, etc...) so I friendzoned him. Something I should not have done as he remained to be clingy and started flaunting his Grindr hookups every other day and started chasing me on Scruff, Growlr and Grindr until I developed feelings for him again. We dated again and the first week was perfect because he kept saying that the thought of me kept him awake all night and that he had never masturbated ever since we started dating again. He was just acting weird and his actions didn’t match his words. One day he’s like “let’s take it slow and not rush” the same day at night he’s like “hey, let’s talk roles and sexual expectations” and on the next dates he makes weird moves as if he wanted me to kiss him (we agreed on no anal for the time being). Then, he started playing his mind games again and called me messy for not dressing for him in a certain way and started being passive aggressive until I gave him the silent treatment for a whole day because I was over his childish behavior. The next day I logged into my dating app accounts to delete them with the intention of being ready to talk things out with him and start committing and guess what? He was online. I wrote him a text message with closure and blocked him everywhere and we have never talked since then.
Now the problem is, in one of our dates he flaunted some of his hookups of which one of them was a guy I went to school with and he said it was a very bad experience and one of his most regrettable hookups (happened two years before we even knew each other existed). After leaving him, I can’t stop picturing scenes of them getting naked and all which made me feel insecure. Btw, I’m still a virgin because my guts got the best of me and I found it difficult to make a move on him.
Do you guys think I did the right thing by dumping him again? Also, how do you get over the retroactive jealousy and stop picturing him in his hookups. I’m totally over him as a boyfriend but those images just wont leave my mind.
