Dating outside your race

[Taralen]

I am a Caucasian gay guy and I prefer white American males. I don't find much in common with black Americans or anyone with dark skin, but I don't dislike them. I was raised in a Christian family, on both my mother and father's sides, and most if not all of them are against interracial relationships (mostly my mom's dad, he hates blacks, Mexicans and anyone not white...pity). I learned to not be so ignorant. I didn't really connect with any blacks or Hispanics in school but I talked to some at times, depending on which classes I had with them. I was also an awkward loner so then again, I didn't connect with anyone really. Sometimes I wish I had something in common with other people besides whites, white people can be so critical at times.

 

[bankside]

What?.....

My hope would be that your family doesn't have much in common with white Americans either. I think if I had a family like yours I would feel I had more in common with just about anyone else no matter what their colour. Do you find their ignorance comes between you?

 

[sultrysam]

I see nothing wrong with dating outside one's race as long as it's not BECAUSE it's outside one's race. For example, if a black guy is dating a white guy simply because he's white, I think that's incredibly foolish, and I am judging in my head, but it's their life and not my business.

 

[JPGhost]

I'm a man of color and I date mostly white men, I find that this is still a problem within out community and I can't seem to understand why its such a problem or bothers people when someone makes a choice to date someone of a different race. Any thoughts on this topic?

Like I said before..I started to change my outlook since 2009- to accept people of all races even though I must sacrifice my heavy attraction towards white guys in my younger years. I shaped myself entirely and perhaps- one 'bitter' remarks from one particular jubber really strikes me in the heart- pushing me to validate my vow.

Surprisingly I became a person I want to be.
Right now..Im not gonna cry or throw fist if my boyfriend/husband isn't white. It feels...like a true liberty ^^
and I hope guys like you can pay attention to this issue IF THIS REALLY BOTHERS you. Otherwise..people free to be whatever they want to be.

 

[Pyscean]

I totally understand. But the media plays a big part as to how society plays. Everyone watches television, reads magazines, watches movies etc. Young and old. All races.

Twerking has been around since the 80s. Due to Miley Cyrus' controversial Video Music Awards performance, it has resurrected into popularity. All because of this videos on youtube of people twerking proclaiming that it's a new fad and craze makes me sick.

Scandal is a very popular television series right now. It is one of the first to showcase a black female in a lead role having an interracial relationship. Black women and white men relationships are still frowned upon in this society, especially in America. Unlike black men and white women relationships. Black women are more willing to date men of other races, not limited to white because of that.

DTLA just wasn't good enough to hold your argument.

The only good show which could win your argument would be Modern Family which is one of the highest rated shows on television which feature both white partners, and no black characters period.

And I used to disagree with this statement as before I thought it was gay black men who were refusing to date white men, but due to the fact that I've talked to other gay black men and men of color in general who were associates of mine, not to mention I've tried online dating, networking, parties, meeting people at work, and I've come to the fact that white men might flirt and have fantasies of the big black dick syndrome, but in reality when it comes to interracial they are interested in black men the least, and asian men are at the top of the totem pole with probably any other race in between or below black men in rare cases.

And I'm only speaking of my experiences and friends experiences, as the same issues could happen to straight interracial couples, but the majority of the white men that I've been with and I've felt were going to be my soul mate, never wanted to go on dates. It was always late night adventures at his house, he wouldn't allow me to text him at certain times, he did heavy drug and alcohol abuse, I wasn't allowed at his house, his family had beef with me, sex was too kinky (not that I have a problem with it, but some of the things were a little extreme), I couldn't take pictures of him, etc. Just some common stereotypes that really aren't ever discussed but happen always. Mainly because interracial relationships for the most part are still taboo in the United States, straight or gay.

I totally agree to some parts of what you said, but just understand that entertainment plays a big part of it.

Plus it's four minorities being jumbled together.

1.Gay
2.Gay person of color.
3.Interracial couple
4.Gay Interracial couple.

Okay..I'm really trying to figure out what argument you think I'm trying to win? The fact that inter-racial relationships exist, gay or otherwise, and that the microcosm of Hollywood is just a snapshot of what's starting to come to fruition in the greater populace? Also, whether society is ready for it or not...it's real and it's out there. I only used common media and the celebrity factor as examples..valid examples nonetheless. It was just easier to reference names that a large majority of people from all walks of life would/might recognize rather than me saying something like.."Well..the accountant that does my taxes is married to a black woman and he's white." That doesn't validate my point because their is no common frame of reference between me and those that I'm trying to convey the concept to.

Also, I never said anything about gay black men not being interested in dating white men. What I said specifically is that there is some serious tension between gay black men who choose to date outside of their race and those that do not. As a matter of fact, I completely agree with your assessment of that white men, in general, place black men as a last resort (or a never resort to) dating option. And yes..I've had the experience, and still do have the experience, of being treated like a walking penis from some white guys. But as I've gotten older and more experienced, I've become more aware of which guys value me for the complete package and which see me as a novelty.

 

[LeicsDom]

I'm a man of color and I date mostly white men, I find that this is still a problem within out community and I can't seem to understand why its such a problem or bothers people when someone makes a choice to date someone of a different race. Any thoughts on this topic?

In the UK it seems to be very much a non-white concern. If you are ethnic then your community frowns, or worse, on it. Whites really don't care.
I think this has a lot to do with homophobia within many ethnic communities and that is largely to do with their intinctive need to reproduce to strengthen their races.

 

[Harke the Boeotarch]

I have sex with black guys every once in a while and even lived with one once. Boy oh boy did some of them and some of the POCs here have issues.

 

[SLOPPYSECONDS]

let see humans apesyees wonda baout million yrs lookin fa kool question ask da knitin circulll
wot luck
* internet 2 finals giv knitin circull questions nevabefor hear *

technology so handy fa 1st world wen discova wot they nose doins

thankyou

 

[Pyscean]

Scandinavia isn't very ethnic and I've only really dated 3 guys and they were all European. My preferences aren't based based on race though but more on age and body type.

When you say they were all European, you must mean they were all white/caucasian European. And I can understand why you would only date those guys because that may all that's available to you in Scandinavia.

 

[eastofeden]

let see humans apesyees wonda baout million yrs lookin fa kool question ask da knitin circulll
wot luck
* internet 2 finals giv knitin circull questions nevabefor hear *

technology so handy fa 1st world wen discova wot they nose doins

thankyou

FINALLY...something I can relate to ...you did it once again Sloppy

thankyou

 

[figjam]

I'm a man of color and I date mostly white men, I find that this is still a problem within out community and I can't seem to understand why its such a problem or bothers people when someone makes a choice to date someone of a different race. Any thoughts on this topic?

I have been "dating" outside my race since discovering dark meat. I found that my community mostly frown upon me fucking black men in my garden in clear view of all - assholes!!