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Dating Straight Guys

OK, let me get this straight. You only date straight guys because gays are so petty. But then the straight guys won't commit to you since they're all hung up on being, you know, straight. But we're the ones hung up on labeling?

I've only dated two guys. Both were gay. The first one had some issues, and we broke up. The second one I've been with almost a decade. Neither of us has ever gotten a pedicure, and I don't think either of us has ever had a "guess who's sleeping with who" conversation. I'm assuming my boyfriend is straight, because he certainly isn't gay by your definition.

Lex
 
I think the labels of GAY or BI or STRAIGHT fool yourself into believing you can only follow that particular lifestyle. If you THINK and SAY you are gay, then thats all you will do. I reallly dont know what to call myself. I know what you are talking about though, I could only really imagine doing something with someone I get close to. Every other guy is nearly out of the question. Then again, I also like girls. I like the close relationship I guess, the sexual part of it is just the side of it. The labels are what end up making you live your life in certain ways.
 
armandweaver said:
What's ironic is that this is definitely not the first time it happens to me. My first "straight" bf was like that and we were together for 6+ years. But he kept orchestrating the same drama over and over again.
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You probably don't want to hear this, but I think you need to consider the one commonality to all these guys and relationships--you. It sounds like you're continuing to make the same mistake over and over again by pursuing the same kinds of guys. Rarely does the same thing just keep happening to somebody for no reason. There are almost always underlying choices being made by you that effectively cause the pattern to occur repeatedly. Perhaps you need to reevaluate the qualities you look for in the men you want something more than friendship from.
 
Lol, I'd like to hear some of ya'lls secrets, cause i've had no luck in bagging a straight guy, ever! Sounds like you've been doing it forever :), totally jealous..

Anyway, whether you want to hear it or not, straight guys will never love you. Period! End of story, they love good old fashioned poontang! Think of it this way, these situations are all like a good, hardy meal. A guy eats, say for example, chicken . Yeah, chicken is awesome, but you can't truly appreciate it without having something on the side..

Well, that's how this is working out. These guys love women, and always will, and sometimes they dabble in other activities, but at the end of the day, you were just a fuck..

A way to get their rocks off.
 
Hmmm...I dunno why gay guys are still stereotypically labeled as "sissy" and "pretty" and into girly things. I like guys, but I don't like girly stuff. I've never gotten a pedicure. I don't like to gossip. I prefer my phone conversations to be short and to the point. I like doing outdoorsy things...Not a big sports fan but I love my cars and technology just like the next (usually male) geek.

Besides, I know quite a few openly gay guys who are very masculine, love football, hangin' with their straight bro's, the works. The only way you'd know they were gay is if you asked them.

To those of you who are seeking straight guys: there are some pretty big tough super-masculine gay guys out there...you're likely to have more success if you try dating them. ;)
 
What's the big deal... yeah, there are guys who don't dig what they think of as gay guys, but occationally become close with one of us and feel some attraction. Should we call them bi guys? Technically, yeah, but they don't see it that way. For them it's just this one guy(at least this time), who somehow it's ok to mess around with...

I lost a tight friend this way when it just got too weird to be around him. still miss him and it's been years. He must have told me he just couldn't believe i was gay over 20 times--It was annoying.

If we must label them, I'll choose closeted bi guys with stringent, unknown compatibility requirements (aka fetishy).
 
Haha, there was a joke or skit somewhere I saw.. it was hilarious.

"It's only gay, if you make it gay".. lol I should try that out on my str8 friends..

And there are NOOO masculine gay guys in sight, ever, at least not where I'm at.
 
And there are NOOO masculine gay guys in sight, ever, at least not where I'm at.
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They're kind of like air, all around but invisible to you...for now. Just 'cause you can't see 'em for what they really are doesn't make them any less real, just less obvious.

edit: I somewhat take it back... They're f'ing hard as hell to find, but some exist where I live and hotlanta is WAY the hell bigger and badder than tampa so for sure you have some too.
 
armandweaver said:
I suppose this has been discussed to death but i'll give it another take ...

For the last 2 years I've been dating straight guys or should I say having sex with normally hetero acting guys. It's just I don't seem to be able to find gay guys appealing anymore. It's a standard scenario. We become friends, we become close, we talk about everything and one day we have sex. Some feel guilty, some find it interesting but something is missing.

Am I completely unable to find happiness this way. This morning I met my gay friends for lunch after a long and heavy partying last night. I was amassed just how little we have in common. They talked about pedicure and celebrities, hair and makeup, their neverending sexual encounters with men (we all know). I stayed there mum completely unable to relate.

I wish it was easier. I saw a movie once (South American) where i heard this gem of a quote: "Having sex with women is like vegetarian food, tastes good and is good to you but a real man needs some meat every now and then". Are we meat?

Are we completely wrong about life and relationships. We go out of the closet but then we go into another closet, we lock it and throw the keys. We live a gay life stereotype which somehow shieds us from experiencing love with people we really want to be with. Don't date straight guys ... You can never be happy with another man if he is not gay or identifies himself as one ... Are we afraid to just be ourselves? Why is it so bad to just be with someone regardless. Have we forgotten our nature? Why the guilt, why the games, why ...
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Referring to the part in bold, that an example of some gay guys, but not all gay guys are "metrosexual" and effeminate. You need to find some new gay friends then because are gay guys out there who could care less about makeup, etc. Go look, you'll find them. However, I think I know what you're saying about gay men just being themselves. People say dating a straight guy will only lead to confusion and hurt, but then again dating another man also can lead to confusion and hurt. The main difference is that it hurts worse when a "straight" guy says he just wants sex and then he's going to go back to his girlfriend. Although I disagree with you that gay people only go out of the closet to go into another closet.
 
Straight guys will never love you or feel attracted to you... it's why they're straight. There are plenty of fish in the sea that are gay or bi so start looking for what you can get instead of what you can't have.
 
I tend to agree with multiply replies here. But basically, my two cents is that you obviously haven't met all of the gay guys in the world. There are in fact guys out there who want a relationshipe with a guy but aren't stereotypically gay. But they still would admit to being gay if asked.

I think the problem may be what you associate with being gay. Such that, any guy who is openly gay (aka admits to it) makes you automatically assume he is flamy, there for the sex, etc. I agree that labels aren't that useful if used in this context. But in the context that gay = prefers sex with the same sex... then yes, it is useful. Gay does not mean what you seem to define it as.

I'll admit, I'm attracted to more "str8 acting" guys. And I agree that many of the gay guys in "the scene" don't fall into this category. But I have to believe that there are others out there that do not make sexuality the be all and end all of their being. I've met some here and there.
 
If that's the case perhaps you should have title the thread 'Dating Closted Guys'?
 
Nice to see another Bulgarian here. :D I have nothing to add to this tread just wanted to greet you.

BTW, "masculine" isn't equal to "straight". Straight men don't have gays sex. Period.

Those who do are at least bi.
 
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