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Dating two guys at the same time

JustBoys05

JustBoys05

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I will not go into details, but I been going out with this great guy ("Jay") since July '07. He is everything that I ever wanted in a guy, the problem is he want to get marry to a woman someday at least from what he told me. In a mean time we still have that "boy friend" - "boy friend" relationship.

Recently I'm met a new guy ("Tom") and he is gay, another great guy. And he is not looking for anything serious since he's moving next summer for a teaching job in a difference city. I really like this guy too, but I'm not sure what I'm doing or how far I want this to go since he's moving.

Should I tell Tom I'm seeing someone now? or even tell Jay? :confused:
 
Since neither of them is looking to settle down with you, I see no reason you can't date them both. Straight people do it all the time.

And no you don't have to tell either one, unless you've told one of them you're with him exclusively.
 
Have you made any committment in terms of monogamous exclusivity to any of the dudes?

If not, you are free to play around as you deem fit.

If so, do not cheat.

SC
 
That's what the term "dating" is there for. As josher already said it, neither of them want to settle down with you, so enjoy the moments with them as long as they both are in your life. And if any of them finds out about each other and have a problem with it, then they have no idea what they're doing in the first place.
 
I just want to get some perspective, it would be a difference story if both of them want a serious relationship.

I guess I'll keep doing whatever I'm doing...haha
 
Well, you should enjoy it, since you have twice as much as I do. :(
 
If it were San Francisco you'd be thought weird if you _didn't_ have two boyfriends. Sigh. Guess I'm too stuck on the idea of monogamy for that. . . .
 
pausanias_usa said:
If it were San Francisco you'd be thought weird if you _didn't_ have two boyfriends. Sigh. Guess I'm too stuck on the idea of monogamy for that. . . .
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But than are you one of those guys that goes on one date and thinks he's married? Those type of guys freak me out. This guy is just dating. I never got why gay men can't multiple date? Why must we date one person whom we have only known for a short time? Some guys are so freaky about that. You have to multiple date to fine the "one" or else you are settling for the first guy who comes a long.
 
i have been the "second" guy twice this year (GRRRRRRR......) and its a horrible situation. there are 2 peoples feelings and emotions on the line in this situation.

For me, both times i didnt know the guys had bf's and the rest of the city seemed to know except me. I was treated like a home wrecker/ slut when i was the innocent party ..btw nobody seemed to care the 2 guys were playin around it all fell on me (again GRRR) ..and would have never gone near them had i known they were taken...

my advice mate be honest with the both of them - saves alot of hurt .....
 
bluedragon4 said:
But than are you one of those guys that goes on one date and thinks he's married? Those type of guys freak me out. This guy is just dating. I never got why gay men can't multiple date? Why must we date one person whom we have only known for a short time? Some guys are so freaky about that. You have to multiple date to fine the "one" or else you are settling for the first guy who comes a long.
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Wow...that is so true!

I came out a little over two years ago and before that operated in the "straight" world. You are absolutely right that it was okay to go on dates with different people; heck, you were "dating."

I thought maybe I was just confused that because there isn't marriage, that "dating" is defined differently now that I'm out. I've been dating a number of different guys -- how else will I know what I like and that they are the one unless I have something to compare it with?

I went out with a great guy on a date a couple weeks ago; we had a super night and repeated it the next night and had some terrific sex. And then some of my friends saw me out to dinner with someone else and asked me about my "relationship!"
 
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