I've been feeling differently lately. I think it's just because I'm in my non-depressed mood right now, but it's about gay relationships and my potential witht hem. It doesn't seem so impossible, and ewhen I think about it, I feel mirthful. Usually, thinking about gay relationships fills me with joy and inspires me, but I still feel sad about it somehow, like it's beyond my reach.
But right now, I still feel it, but it's overwhelmed by significant optimism. Like, I can do it. It's not impossible. And there's still the joy, which I can only describe as akin to deep underwater currents, slowly, but swiftly and strongly moving through you.
In fact, I'm watching The Guru and I remembered that at the end, Heather Grahm's fireman fiance realizes that he's in love with his best friend on the squad and the priest who's known him all his life gives him his blessing, so he runs in his tuxedo to the station and kisses him and the entire fire squad cheers them on. (I have a thing for firefighters and their boots that mkes me feel all melty inside.) The two aren't big characters and it's not important, just a way to tie up all the ends for a hppy ending, but it fills me with joy, like choir music is going on in my head.
And I stepped outside at 2am and the lights of my college town made the night seem bright and comforting and the whole thing had me feeling so optimistic.
I just don't know what it is, but I wish I had someone to share it with. I'd hug them tight and kiss them till morning.
But right now, I still feel it, but it's overwhelmed by significant optimism. Like, I can do it. It's not impossible. And there's still the joy, which I can only describe as akin to deep underwater currents, slowly, but swiftly and strongly moving through you.
In fact, I'm watching The Guru and I remembered that at the end, Heather Grahm's fireman fiance realizes that he's in love with his best friend on the squad and the priest who's known him all his life gives him his blessing, so he runs in his tuxedo to the station and kisses him and the entire fire squad cheers them on. (I have a thing for firefighters and their boots that mkes me feel all melty inside.) The two aren't big characters and it's not important, just a way to tie up all the ends for a hppy ending, but it fills me with joy, like choir music is going on in my head.
And I stepped outside at 2am and the lights of my college town made the night seem bright and comforting and the whole thing had me feeling so optimistic.
I just don't know what it is, but I wish I had someone to share it with. I'd hug them tight and kiss them till morning.