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Delayed Ejaculation

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franticallyfustrated

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My new boyfriend and I have been together for about four months now, and prior to this Ive known him for many years. We're both extremly happy that we've finally gotten together, but there is one major complication; he suffers extremly delayed ejaculation.

No matter what I do, or what I let him do to me, it takes at least 3-4 hours for him to climax. Whilst this can be extremly enjoyable at times, at others it can be extremly fustrating. I often wonder if it is me who is the problem, but Ive never encountered this with anyone else before, so Im inclined to think not, but the whole situation has given my confidence a battering. He has confided in me that he is rather ashamed about it and I have tried my best to reassure him, but I'm not sure if it has worked.

I'd be extremly greatful for any advice you can give me to help him over come this problem?

thanks (:
 
Why is it so important to ejaculate? It is almost certain that the barrier is psychological. Have sex, enjoy each other and don't strive for ejaculation. Without the pressure that he must prove his ability I am sure that he will be more relaxed. In the end nature will have her say :)
 
Enjoy the long excitement. I am sure it will come quicker than you think. Hope there is not too much pressure to perform. Good Luck.
 
Txgoodoldboy said:
How long does it take when he masturbates when he is alone?
Click to expand...

It takes him about 30minutes or so? And there is never any pressure to climax, if he does he does, if he doesn't he doesn't. I just don't like being the one who always gets the pleasure in the end.
 
My first thought was he might feel guilty about "gay" sex.

If he says he is enjoying himself, that should take the pressure off of how you are feeling.

Maybe, a little "dirty talk" might help situation, and that would let you know what he is enjoying.
 
Txgoodoldboy said:
My first thought was he might feel guilty about "gay" sex.

If he says he is enjoying himself, that should take the pressure off of how you are feeling.

Maybe, a little "dirty talk" might help situation, and that would let you know what he is enjoying.
Click to expand...

Thanks, I guess its worth a shot! I really do appriciate the advice!
 
Could he be on some medication? Honest, candid chats can be the answer to a lot of relationship problems. So many people are afraid to talk about things! A good begining to any relationship is talking about everything and anything, within reasons, of course.
 
How old is your boyfriend and is on any medications - particularly anti-depressants?
 
KaraBulut said:
How old is your boyfriend and is on any medications - particularly anti-depressants?
Click to expand...


He is 24, and not on any medication. Ive known him for years and he's always been healthy - physically and mentally. I think I know myself that it is most likely a psychological problem on his behalf, I just wish I knew how to confront it.
 
I have the same issue, really.

I don't like receiving blowjobs and handjobs from guys, it just doesn't feel good. It's a weird thing, it's like my dick is desensitized, but not in that it can't feel anything. It just doesn't feel completely pleasurable as it should.

I've been practicing with a fleshlight, and now I can cum in like... 2 minutes, with porn and while fucking a fleshlight. But since I've trained myself to do that over a few weeks, I've lost the ability to quickly cum under the control of my hand.

So, it was a trade off. Still can't cum with a condom. It's definitely been a struggle with some partners, because they tend to wonder, etc.

Ah well, wish I had an answer for you, but I'm trying to find my own too.
 
It's anxiety...

also the fact that he know's you're both waiting for him to cum soon, makes him anxious and he cannot.

I had the same thing when I met this guy once before. You know..first time with him and I couldn't cum at all. Then the next night...and the more he complained, the more I couldn't do it.

The funny thing is, that's all psychological.

One advice for you is, do not rush him at all. Don't tell him you don't expect him to cum, because that will makes him wanting to cum even more.

Just make it natural.

Infact, do not say anything during sex about it.

One way to help this is.. don't have sex with him for like a week or two.
And tell him to not even masturbate at all.

It takes his mind off his anxiety to cum. After a week or two, the cum buildups and it will be easier to climax.
 
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