Romantico
Porn Star
I was talking to a friend of mine today who I have not seen in almost a year. He has known me for about 5 years and he knows I am bisexual and has always been curious about it. These are the kinds of friends I like. When I first told him I was bi, he thought I was really gay but just not man enough to admit it. I never held it against him because A) He still stayed friends with me and B) he asked me questions. He has over the years come to understand bisexuality and I feel good in knowing I helped him along with that.
Well, today we got talking about my girlfriend. Its been a year since we have really talked and when we last talked I was just getting over a break up with a guy. My friend was curious on how I could go from a guy to a woman in just a years time. He asked how my girlfriend took my bisexuality and says there is no way a woman at her age could be ok with a bisexual boyfriend.
My GF has a great analogy I thought I would share for you bisexuals guys if you ever fall in love with a woman and want to describe the feeling with friends. Even though my GF knew I was bi before I told her (she heard whispers and gossip from people, so she she was prepared when I told her) She said it's similar to finding out your dating a porn star. At first, you don't know what to make of it. It bothers you and you become very judgmental. You begin asking yourself, 'can I do this?' Then, you start getting to know the person. You then begin to wonder what friends and family will think of him but worse, what will they think of you? You know they will judge him and see him differently than you do. Then you have to be prepared to be judged yourself. Like a porn star, people will think he is a sex addict and may have some sort of disease. A lot of myths and stereotypes will have to be debunked. People will gossip and talk about you behind your back and think your nuts and that the relationship will not last. Trust is another issue. Like a porn star, you may question does he love me and others the same? What if he loves me but also a guy at the same time?
My friend actually got a little misty eyed when I told him this. He said by me putting it to him that way, he understood. He asked if I felt bad that I put my GF through all of that. I told him I did, but she wouldn't allow me to feel bad about it. You know you've found someone special when they accept you and love you for who you are. She began trusting me immediately and it was a trust that came from love. She put everything on the line and she could have easily gotten her heart broken. I feel trust needs to be earned but I always felt she took a leap of faith because she felt no one had ever done that with me before. She was right. Guys and girls are more reluctant to trust a bisexual over a homosexual or a heterosexual. I made a promise to be 100% honest with her in exchange for her trust. So far, it has worked and kept us together.
My friend has come a long way and I think he was actually surprised to see how happy we are. He was never homophobic, but questioned the bisexuality thing with me a lot. We are finding a lot of people around us question our relationship. Family, friends and even neighbors of mine who are use to seeing me with guys. My GF has been accused of being my beard and people have even suggested that we have an arranged relationship with separate bedrooms, which is not true. We are beginning to see people making small efforts to break us up which is sad. I'm curious if there are any other bi men who are either married or in a relationship (with either a guy or girl) who faces similar situations.
Anyways, just thought I would share.
Well, today we got talking about my girlfriend. Its been a year since we have really talked and when we last talked I was just getting over a break up with a guy. My friend was curious on how I could go from a guy to a woman in just a years time. He asked how my girlfriend took my bisexuality and says there is no way a woman at her age could be ok with a bisexual boyfriend.
My GF has a great analogy I thought I would share for you bisexuals guys if you ever fall in love with a woman and want to describe the feeling with friends. Even though my GF knew I was bi before I told her (she heard whispers and gossip from people, so she she was prepared when I told her) She said it's similar to finding out your dating a porn star. At first, you don't know what to make of it. It bothers you and you become very judgmental. You begin asking yourself, 'can I do this?' Then, you start getting to know the person. You then begin to wonder what friends and family will think of him but worse, what will they think of you? You know they will judge him and see him differently than you do. Then you have to be prepared to be judged yourself. Like a porn star, people will think he is a sex addict and may have some sort of disease. A lot of myths and stereotypes will have to be debunked. People will gossip and talk about you behind your back and think your nuts and that the relationship will not last. Trust is another issue. Like a porn star, you may question does he love me and others the same? What if he loves me but also a guy at the same time?
My friend actually got a little misty eyed when I told him this. He said by me putting it to him that way, he understood. He asked if I felt bad that I put my GF through all of that. I told him I did, but she wouldn't allow me to feel bad about it. You know you've found someone special when they accept you and love you for who you are. She began trusting me immediately and it was a trust that came from love. She put everything on the line and she could have easily gotten her heart broken. I feel trust needs to be earned but I always felt she took a leap of faith because she felt no one had ever done that with me before. She was right. Guys and girls are more reluctant to trust a bisexual over a homosexual or a heterosexual. I made a promise to be 100% honest with her in exchange for her trust. So far, it has worked and kept us together.
My friend has come a long way and I think he was actually surprised to see how happy we are. He was never homophobic, but questioned the bisexuality thing with me a lot. We are finding a lot of people around us question our relationship. Family, friends and even neighbors of mine who are use to seeing me with guys. My GF has been accused of being my beard and people have even suggested that we have an arranged relationship with separate bedrooms, which is not true. We are beginning to see people making small efforts to break us up which is sad. I'm curious if there are any other bi men who are either married or in a relationship (with either a guy or girl) who faces similar situations.
Anyways, just thought I would share.
LOL
