Did anyone have it easy coming out?

[YourDiscoNeedsYou]

*first post!*

I grew up in a single parent household, just me and my mother. Up until the following I had decided I would stay in the closet forever.

I am 22 and few weeks ago my mother turned around to me RANDOMLY and said "You're gay and you dont even KNOW it!", I glared at her and the only thing that came out of my mouth was "yes I do". She laughed and continued doing what she was doing, she didnt care orr judge me at all, though she insists I have children or adopt so she is entertained in later life!

A few days after that I got pretty SMASHED and decided to tell my friends at the pub. None of them cared either, in fact, some have told me that they respect me even more for being so honest with not only them, but myself.

I guess I was a "lucky one". I think maturing and growing as a person, realising what the word "priority" means when it is applied to LIVING made me ready...this is the right time when one can be a beacon to others in the same situation, younger or older.

I have learned to not be afraid of my sexuality, it is apart of me that will never leave and a part that has made me such an open minded, creative and accepting person.

Sorry if im talking bollocks

 

[thegreenfury]

i came out to my friends when i was in the 10th grade. some people were surprised, some had already assumed and no one seemed to care. a few people acted strange for a while, but even they got over it after i cleared up some misconceptions they had.

i told my sister a few years later with no ill effects and then finally, last summer, i told my parents. ... actually, no, my mom told me. i was visiting home from college sitting on the computer she came in a said she had a question for me. i thought she was going to ask me to take the dog out or do laundry or something but instead she asked, "are you gay?" i was floored, of course, but i told myself the day i came out in high school that if she asked i'd be honest. i told her that i was and she said that she had assumed as much since middle school (before i even figured it out, heh...) and that she and my dad and my aunt and my other sister had all been scheming and searching for clues.

long story short: she doesnt care and we talk about it often, my dad doesnt care but we never talk about it, and neither of my sisters care. the little one even thinks its "cool."

 

[Soilwork]

I am 22 and few weeks ago my mother turned around to me RANDOMLY and said "You're gay and you dont even KNOW it!", I glared at her and the only thing that came out of my mouth was "yes I do". She laughed and continued doing what she was doing, she didnt care orr judge me at all, though she insists I have children or adopt so she is entertained in later life!

Glad you made your first post here... and yeah, I've said it a million times.. it's always a bigger deal to us than it is to them.

 

[sb]

mine was easy.

 

[operafan]

About the only thing that was ever said was when my mother told me to stop sneaking my boyfriend in through my bedroom window. She said it looked bad, so I should start sneaking him in through the back door(no pun intended, believe me).

I love your mom!

 

[mnpervert]

My family was really sexually open and just knew that I was Bi and I dont ever really coming out to them? By the time I was openly 'dating' men and women it was just me and mom left in the house and the first time I brought a guy home for sex the next morning my mom was just like "You should have just let him stay the night and get some good morning sex" THen she would go on and ask some really intimate questions about the sex.
With friends and coworkers there wasnt ever a coming out either I just let it happen organically by sucking their cocks

 

[firsttimeagain]

My concept may be different as an adult. I act straight and always have. I don’t think that part is goin to change for me. I am not telling everyone. It’s none of there business really. I am only coming out to potential partners and I have opened up on an app and a website with face pictures and stating my intentions and desires for a relationship with a man. So, I guess that is kinda coming out without telling everyone else. Anyone that sees me on these sights are looking for the same thing. So, I not worried about them. As far as family and friends, they will figure it out as I spend all my time with the same guy. Especially if we decide to live together. It is what it is. I’ve been in the closet for my whole life. It’s taken me a long time to finally admit it to myself and accept that I am gay. It really feels good too. I’m confident in who I am and what I want. I’m not worried about what others are going to think. They will figure it out and I’m finally OK with that too. The hardest part has been hiding it and running from it when I’ve have always known I’m gay. It’s gonna be nice to share all with a likeminded guy without worries of what others think. I will never shout it from a mountain top or walk in some parade. I’m not interested in that…

 

[caretaker]

Came out to my wife, still married after 40 years.

 

[RisingGay]

I didn't even fully come out to myself until I was 60 (I'm 63 now), despite having sex with mostly guys since I was 30, when my first girlfriend of three years broke up with me. Internalized homophobia did a huge number on me, causing lots of bi-confusion.

The first person I came out to, at 54, besides my two therapists, was my future second girlfriend, when it looked like sex was going to happen soon. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life to date, and I just knew that she would break up with me after hearing about the hundreds of guys I'd had anonymous oral sex with in the last 24 years and the few non-anonymous anal sex with in the last 3 years. She asked a lot of questions, and it felt so embarrassing to answer what I had done with guys in the great detail that she forced me to give. But then she totally accepted it all, and accepted me. As long as I first got tested for all STIs, she was fine for us to have sex. She didn't even wait the full three months with the HIV test (the last time I had sex with a guy was only a week before) before she sucked my cock. By then we were already a couple.

Ironically it was that three-year relationship with her, and her breaking up with me many times and breaking my heart so often, for me to finally realize women were not for me, and never have been. Just before Covid I broke up with her, and finally came out to myself as gay.

Since then I've come out to a handful of close friends, with all of them being totally accepting. It was actually very easy to come out to all of them, unlike my ex-girlfriend, because I knew they would be accepting: three were lesbians, and the others fellow Buddhists, who were trained to love all living beings. I have not come out to my parents or brother or my lifelong friends or relatives--everyone who has loved me for many decades. I'm just not ready for that. And while I'm just having sex with guys, with only a couple of unrequited crushes and no romantic relationships yet, I figure I shouldn't need to. That's because I still feel that many of them will not understand, and some will reject me. Maybe that's a delusion I have, I don't know. But I have told myself that if I ever were to have a boyfriend, then it would only be fair to him that I come out to everyone and live our life openly as a gay couple. We'll see if and when that happens. Meanwhile, I stay in the closet for the most part. But I also understand how unhealthy that is.

 

[Baxi]

I had it easy in the sense that my parents though not very happy about it did accept it and I have never once experienced any discrimination or loss of friendships over it.
On the other hand I am desperately unhappy as I can't find a relationship at the moment.