did i get stood up by a friend?

[evanrick]

last week my friend and i made plans to hang out yesterday. he even asked if we were still hanging out this week and we confirmed it. but it didnt happen. i called him yesterday afternoon and there was no answer. i sent him a text and called it good.

i have known him for a couple years, we dont usually hang out outside of work, there was only a couple times we did and it was a group setting. never done anything by ourselves.

so now im just waiting, waiting to see if he says anything. i am afraid he either got what he wanted from someone else and decided to ignore me or is just afraid of being found out by someone if we were to be closer outside of work.

normally i dont feel this insecure and i am trying not to feel that way now, but if a friend ive known so long wont even say anything, i have to believe he doesn't want me as a friend.

 

[HunterM]

You did all you could for now.

He may be depressed...or bipolar...or got kidnapped by aliens. Wait for a few days, call him and text him again to see how's he's doing...if you still value him as a friend.

 

[Rolyo85]

So it was a sex "hanging out" and he's closeted? Yeah, that doesn't end well usually.

 

[TX-Beau]

Yeah, I'm confused. Are you trying to date him? Is he closeted? Need more context.

 

[evanrick]

no not trying to date him. we are friends but dont talk outside of work. yea he is closeted.

 

[TX-Beau]

So that's probably your answer.

 

[Just_Believe18]

Closet guys are very flakey and are non-communicative. Your time is best spent elsewhere with friends who appreciate your company and aren't afraid to hang out with a gay guy mano a mano.

 

[Rolyo85]

Evanrick, what's with you and those weird-ass guys from your work you post about every few months? Or is it always the same guy?

 

[eastofeden]

My initial instinct after reading tells me he has some problem with anxiety/fear and maybe a lack of self awareness and probably doesnt' know how to deal with it.

 

[evanrick]

Evanrick, what's with you and those weird-ass guys from your work you post about every few months? Or is it always the same guy?

im glad you asked. i think were all kinda weird to be honest. its sad but what am i supposed to do if we have a lot in common and find each other attractive?

like my 'friend' who suddenly stopped talking to me even though he said he 'loved me' for years.

my friend im posting about is i guess a flake, but he seemed ready to hang out so ill update you guys.

ive been getting out more lately and not waiting for these guys either! was supposed to meet a guy tonight? but
theres always tomorrow.

i was really looking forward to meeting my friend from work on Thursday, i even got the courage to call his phone but alas no response!

 

[evanrick]

sorry double post.

 

[evanrick]

My initial instinct after reading tells me he has some problem with anxiety/fear and maybe a lack of self awareness and probably doesnt' know how to deal with it.

i have that too but i didnt realize how annoying it can be for others.

yeah i can understand that. hes outgoing, more than me, if hes fearful he hides it well. i know he has some emotional struggles, not sure how bad it is.

 

[Seasoned]

Continue being a work friend with him. Let him know somehow you're still open to hanging out outside of work, but only give him as many chances as you can tolerate.