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Did I over react?

T

TexanGrown

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First off I am a farmer. Have been my whole life. I met my boyfriend of six years in the city. Clean cut and hotter then hell. Anyway, about a year ago he moved into my house. I had to change a lot about myself. Stopped chewing, shaved my chest, had to start wearing a shirt all the time, had to stop wearing my cowboy hat everywhere, hired some hands to help with the work to spend more time with Braxton. It didn't bother me to change these things because I knew it made him happy. So here's the story. A couple weeks ago a lady came to my house to pick up my dogs (a Rottweiler named Bear and two Doberman's named Duke and Duchess.) I had no clue they were being given away. Apparently Brax had told the lady we were giving them away without me knowing. I will be honest. It pissed me off, so I told the lady to go away and loaded up all of his stuff in a farm truck and put the key on the front door. We haven't spoke since then and i'm starting to feel I over reacted. What do y'all think. Am I in the wrong?
 
I think you should talk to him and find out what in God's name possessed him to think he could just give away your dogs. Seems very insensitive of him. I think you have every right to be angry and to demand an explanation.
 
If someone gave my dogs away without my knowledge , i would be hot too. And i would do what you did. MY partner would be going out the door.
 
You may have overreacted a little but your BF really overstepped his bounds with trying to get rid of your dogs. But I agree that you should talk to him and find out why and if you can come to some reasonable solution.
 
You had to change a lot about yourself/your life for him! (Though personally I'm glad you would stop chewing tobacco, too many health risks.)

....Wait....you had to start wearing a shirt all the time?!? In god's name WHY? I would love a BF that would walk around without a shirt! LOL!

Sit down and talk to him. Show him the list of things you were willing to change for him. If after all you were willing to do, he is still not happy, I'm thinking it's not a good relationship for the two of you.
 
I think you overreacted a bit by moving him out, although I think you've got every right to be angry. I don't think I would immediately give up a six year relationship over what might be a misunderstanding.

I assume these dogs were in your life, a part of your family, for sometime, right? As in, they weren't just recently adopted and at your home within the last week? If so, yea, he definitely overstepped by making the decision to give them away on his own.

I think you should talk, maybe you should make the first effort. It doesn't sound like communication between the two of you is that great if it leads to this and you haven't spoken to each other in two weeks.
 
Talk to him about it, and deal with the situation.

6 years is a long time to just kick someone out.
 
Sooooo....a Texas cowboy and his city slicker bf, eh?

Sounds hot! Now go get your lasso and rope him, ride him hard and be sure to tape it and show the video here.
 
Coming between a man and his dogs is a serious offense.

But these small battles are often part of a bigger war.

What's your relationship like? Is he nearly as loyal as the dogs?
 
You did what I would have done. He's already tried to change who you are, and now he's giving away your dogs without your knowledge?

If he wants so many changes with you and your lifestyle, he might as well date somebody else.

You need to be loved for who you are and how you live your life. He sounds crazy to me, way over-possessive.

Hope things work out for you in the end. Good luck!
 
I have had Duke and Duchess for five years and i inherited Bear when my twin brother was shot and killed on duty (law enforcement) two years ago. so they are nothing new. The whole shirt situation was due to the fact that i worked shirtless in my fields and on my horse so i was very visible to a lot of people. I dunno, i just miss him and feel that i let my temper go. Brax is my everything and i think i reacted before i could think it through. he has been wonderful and has always been there for me through a lot of hard times. and Sixthson, i bottom probably 80% of the time but i don't do ropin.
 
TexanGrown said:
I have had Duke and Duchess for five years and i inherited Bear when my twin brother was shot and killed on duty (law enforcement) two years ago. so they are nothing new. The whole shirt situation was due to the fact that i worked shirtless in my fields and on my horse so i was very visible to a lot of people. I dunno, i just miss him and feel that i let my temper go. Brax is my everything and i think i reacted before i could think it through. he has been wonderful and has always been there for me through a lot of hard times. and Sixthson, i bottom probably 80% of the time but i don't do ropin.
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Well, Tex, you love him, go after him. He should never have given your dogs away and he owes you an apology, but you will forgive him and he will forgive you for overreacting. I can't imagine either of you wants to throw away six years for something like this.
 
I would put my own mother out the door if she gave away my dog, never mind some guy I met in the last few years. 100% out of line for this guy to even think of that, and he'd be lucky if throwing him out was all that happened.

Damn it makes me angry just reading about it.

There must be more to the story? Have these dogs bitten any children lately or something?

Also, a shirtless guy on a horse, shaved or not, is usually a good sight that a city boy can enjoy. Umm. If by chewing you mean food, then yeah you'd have to start that. If you mean chewing tobacco, you're better off without it. That would be a deal-breaker for me too. But changing your whole life makes no sense. Why fall for someone if you need them to change everything?
 
Ya know, that's a good point. He's not by any means an animal lover but he has always been good about the pups. Thanks to y'all i'm going to call him and figure this out. Oh also the changing things went both ways. It was more of a this for that type of deal. I'll let y'all know what he says.
Thanks!,
Jacks
 
This is serious and I think you'll be making a big mistake letting him back if it means saying good-bye to the dogs. Be careful.
 
I think you over reacted a bit in they way you did it, but not in what you did. It appears he was treating you as his personal bitch, like you had no say in your own life.

You probably should have talked to him, letting him know his behavior is not appropriate. Then tell him he has to leave. Whether or not its permanent depends on whether or not he can learn to respect you. Your a cowboy, if you want to go shirtless at your home, why not? If you want to wear a cowboy hat wherever you go... well, maybe it wouldn't hurt to make some concessions on that.

The point is, a relationship needs respect and communication, not one person making demands and the other obeying. He was definitely wrong in that.
 
Well it ended on a not so great note. Guess i'm back to my shirtless, cowboy hat ways with my three dogs. now i can look at my help without feeling guilty!

Thank y'all for your help and opinions. i enjoy this forum so i'll stick around.
 
TexanGrown said:
Well it ended on a not so great note. Guess i'm back to my shirtless, cowboy hat ways with my three dogs. now i can look at my help without feeling guilty!

Thank y'all for your help and opinions. i enjoy this forum so i'll stick around.
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Sorry it didn't work out. Best wishes for your future.
 
No you didn't overreact at all,IMO you did the right thing.
It doesn't matter if what he gave away was your pets (whom I consider members of the family) or an old family heirloom. The fact is he gave your dogs to a stranger when he had NO right to do so and did so behind your back.
It doesn't matter if you've been dating someone for six months or six years. If my bf did something like this behind my back, we'd be done.
He clearly showed with this that he has no problem lying to you and keeping secrets from you. That is not someone I'd want to keep in my house and in my life.
 
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