Dilemma about dorm life and being gay...

[bigpayback]

I'm 21 and a junior in college. I went to community college first and then transferred, so I didn't start out with the full "college experience." I have a room mate, but of course he and all my dorm mates think I'm straight, by assumption. And a few girls "like" me, but I don't know what to say.

These girls have stopped by room and sat on my bed with me, and some of my dorm mates can't understand why I haven't "hooked up" with these girls. Obviously, you and I know the reason, but I don't know what to say. It's hard when you haven't told someone you're gay, but I know that the solution would be to "come out" to them. I feel like I have to do
something.

Speaking for myself, I get uncomfortable when I realize a girl likes me because I know I'm hiding something, and a girl might even take it as me being shy, but it's not. When I talk to guys, straight or gay, I tend to be really ambitious because when a person wants something, they're going to want to get it. If I wanted to have sex with girls, I would have "hooked up" with them, but I don't. Anyone, I just felt like venting. Thanks.

 

[rareboy]

Well, tell your roomie that you're saving yourself for him. No. Wait a minute.

Tell him that you are still suffering over a really traumatic breakup and don't want to become involved until with anyone again you've completed your doctorate.

As a student, you've already taken a vow of poverty, so tell him that you are also taking a vow of chastity in order to sublimate desire into your academic work.

Tell him that the first girl who has a penis might get your attention.

Tell him that every girl reminds you of your sister and that makes you impotent.

Tell him not to be concerned about you and your love life.

 

[switchboyad]

Just ignore them... If you don't care, ignore them. But you always will be remembering this time of your life, your college time, usually time to new experiences and that knida stuff, how a time to keep hindeing...

I understand that you don't wanna tell your roommates that you are gay cause they are gonna pull you away or something... But I have a theory, straight guys laugh on gay guy: cause they don't really understand, and cause they think that the gay guys only want sex even with them... (yes, straight guys think that cause they want the same with girls, and cause that is the image they have over gay guys...)

So try to explain them that you don't see a guy and want to fuck him, just you see them like that roommates, I know it's complicated...

A good way to keep hiding is tell them that you have a girlfriend, and tell to a friend of yours that be "your girlfriend" and you will be a happy couple even after (...till college ends...)

 

[bigpayback]

haha, you're funny Rareboy. But thanks SwitchboyAd, for the genuine advice. If I don't hook up with girls, people just think I'm innocent and a virgin...yeah right. I like that you used the word "hindered," because that's exactly how I feel. I feel like I would probably have a boyfriend by now if I just made it clear that I was gay.

At the same time, it's kind of intriguing to figure out who's gay and then carry on a secret relationship. Of course, I wouldn't want to live a secret forever. I have this "ideal" in my head that I can just go on not fooling around with girls in my room, and somehow find hot guys around campus, but I know that's not realistic.

While I'm on the topic, there's a pub on campus and people just drink and dance. I was at the bar about to order another drink some guy from one of my classes was at the bar and he bought me a drink. Mind you, I talked to this guy once to ask where a gas station was and that's it. It probably meant nothing.

 

[TaigaStar]

You could just say that these girls are "not your type." If it's not what you like, it's not what you like and it should get your roommates off your case, to a degree.

 

[Soilwork]

why can't you tell them?

 

[Xpione]

I can relate, my dormate & suitmate keep hooking me up with girls.

 

[boy0boy]

Hard place to be in. 1) remain hidden, stall them with lines while attempting to hookup with other gay guys (mr. bought you a drink possibly) and enjoy a hidden relationship for a while that you can eventually unveil as the reason you don't like girls - possibly

or 2) tell them you are gay, let it get around campus, as most news will, and enjoy the benifits of being 'out' there with more exposure to the kind of attention you want and less from the kind you don't

Oh did you want me to pick one? It's your life, I'll leave it to you. Both have advantages and disadvantages.

 

[SilverRRCloud]

Dude, leave your roommate to live his own life and cope with his own problems. Your life is yours to live and you owe no one any explanation whatsoever.

Get going, meet up with other dudes and have fun. If your roommate gets the message ever, good for him. If he doesn't, that's fine, too. None of his business whatsoever.

It is your business though, to make the best out of your college days.

SC

 

[Rand]

Tell him not to be concerned about you and your love life.

Rareboy has great advice, he just hides it at times. Celebrate your life and tell your roomies to celebrate theirs. Thank them for the interest, but that you have your life under control. You do don't you?


Best of luck and
Celebrate your life

Rand