Dirty unwashed ass

[Sniffademskidz]

It's not going to grow just by you looking at it mate!

Anyway once the coach gets it in his mouth you'll see the difference!

He's a bit of an animal both on and off the field so he'll probably burst in here in about five minutes time, too the seat out of your knickers and rearrange your guts with that fucking pole of his!

Well you did say you'd do anything to get on the first team!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Well Louis as your designated counsellor what can I say to you!?

You've just failed all your A levels miserably so the academic route is out!

You can't knock a nail into a piece of wood without puncturing a vein on your hand so the vocational route is out!

You can't boil an egg without burning the water so the culinary route is out!

As far as I can see there is only way you're going to make loads of money with no effort and that's by lying on your back!

I'll happily be your first customer and you can make a bit of money as part of this counselling session.......

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Sorry to get you all together out here boys but I've had complaints from some of the punters!

Some of you are still keeping your arseholes way too clean!

The sort of guys that come to us are paying good money to slide in and out of your love tunnels on a sea of shit!

If you don't comply with this I'm afraid I'm going to have to let some of you go!

Josh and Jason you've got a client in half an hour so I need to carry out an emergency inspection in the public toilets!

When I pull down your sweatpants I expect to see your Calvin's stuck to.your shit chute!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Just look at that shitter boys!

I'd stick my nose between those buns and wouldn't come up for air till hell freezes over!

Apparently he's a famous tennis player but not sure of his identity!

"Game, set and match!"

Or should I say:

"Name and pet that snatch!!!!!!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Another fine shitter for you to lose your noses, tongues, fingers and cocks in boys!

Andrew Morgan from USA!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

This horny fucker's a plumber by trade!

Just imagine opening the door to this stud who says:

"Morning mate I've just cum to look at your stink pipe!"

To which you answer:

"Ok big boy I'll show you mine if you show me yours! "

He also plays football in his spare time and works out at the gym!

The thought of his head under your sink while your head's buried in his shitter!

Filth personified! Wolf woof!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If you care to wander round the council house estates in Britain you'll see loads of chavs and hoodies just like this one and you know that their arseholes are ripe for the sniffing!

In fact you'd quite happily take them behind the local community centre, push them up against the wall and bang the shit out of them!

Their theme tune should be an adaptation of the 1978 Boney M song

"Brown girl in the ring!"

Brown stripes in my pants tra la la la la!

I've got brown stripes in my pants tra la la la la!

Brown stripes in my pants tra la la la la!

They look like a prelude to some fun fun fun!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-I just get so depressed and embarrassed sometimes by my needle dick Uncle Buck!

-Yeah but you can't have everything boy! You gotta sweet smile and an arse to die for so come and sit on my face and let me enjoy my morning hot chocolate in peace!

 

[GaryPorter]

My BF always farts quite a bit in his sleep too, i just let rip as soon as i wake up

Lying next to a guy who's farting in his sleep! I think I'd gently waft some fumes up and quietly beat off.
I wonder if farting/not farting in your sleep is related to your personality; I'm tight-arsed in many ways and always have gas to emit when I wake up.

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If I had the wings of a sparrow!

If I had the arse of a crow!

I'd fly over the House of Commons

And shit on those buggers below!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Technically the grammar of the caption should read:

THREE GAY GUYS LOOKING AT ONE ANOTHER

However I'm not going to "split hairs" well not unless I send my cock up their arses at very high speed!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Can't you read you stupid little twat.....no smoking!

-I know mate but even if I put this fag out I'll still be smoking......smoking hot that is!

I've seen you eyeing me up when you've been doing your security rounds!

-Well let's see just how hot you are!

I've only got fifteen minutes so get inside and get yer knickers off!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-What the fuck's going on!?

I pay you to clean my office not to use my computer and God knows what else!

-Ok mate! I'll do a deal with you! I'll clean your office if you clean my arse! I never had time to shower this morning so it's gonna be a bit ripe in there!

-It's a deal and to seal the deal I'll 69 you on the table in your black socks!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"You've got me all confused now mate!

Are you asking me to cum in you or your brother!?"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Congratulations Sir! You have now been upgraded which means that you no longer have to clean your own arse!

We have a team.of enthusiastic and dedicated young men who are more than happy to give you a deep clean!

Just ring for Room Service 69 and one of our boys will be up you.......I mean up to your room!

Goodbye shower gel! Hello Timmy's tongue!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

18 year old Archie Gray plays for Tottenham Hotspur!

Gray in grey!

Just stuck your nose in that virgin shitter and inhale the smell of a teenage arsehole!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

There's a colloquial expression in English for a man who loves himself which is:

"He thinks his shit don't stink!"

I know nothing about the personality of 30 year old Chelsea goalkeeper KEPA ARRIZABALAGA but I would love the chance to discover whether that arse stinks!!!!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-I'm your escort for the day Sir-dressed in grey to match the colour of your car!

Are you familiar with the book Fifty shades of grey!?

-Sure but I'm expecting you to offer me fifty shades of brown!

I don't think you'll be disappointed once you get my trackies bottoms down Sir!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

There's nothing sweeter than the smell of a chav's feet- unless of course it's the smell of his unwashed arse!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Meditation is most effective when you empty your mind completely and simply focus on what's staring you in the face!