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Dirty unwashed ass

You may have such a close relationship with your partner that no words are necessary between you and you even know what the other is thinking!

You are like one soul in two bodies but the only way of knowing that you are completely at one with each other is when at the end of a long day you ease down your knickers and the same dirty shitty skids smile back at you!

They are identical.........like twins........SNAP!!!!!
This may be my limit. I don’t think I’ve ever seen skids that strong! But I think that’s too shitty lol
 
28 year old YVES BISSOUMA from the Ivory Coast who plays for Tottenham!

Would love to lick every drop of shit from out of that beautiful black arse!!!!
 

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Hey Will! James and I are not just gonna take your cherry mate!

We're gonna make fucking cherry jam!!!!
 

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All those of you who are familiar with the scouting movement will know that when the scoutmaster calls out:

DYB DYB DYB!

he is saying "Do Your Best!"

The automatic response from the gay scout is:

SMASH SMASH SMASH!

which stands for "Sniff My Arse Scoutmaster Honey!"
 

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-Sorry mate but I was burgled a couple of months ago so I'm really nervous about letting anyone into my house who might have a weapon concealed about their person!

That's why I needed you to strip down to your underwear!

-Fucking hell man I only came to read the gas meter Have you smelt gas at all recently!?

-No but I'm getting a good whiff of it now!
 

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While Prime Minister Rishi Sunak trusted his press officer to vet all the questions before a Q and A session but members of the opposition managed to embarrass the former PM beyond words by giving his Press officer a hefty bribe to ask the following questions during a live interview:

-So how often do you change your underpants!?

-When did you last have a shit?

-You look very sexy in your black dress socks! Can I sniff them!?

I've heard of the Black Hole of Calcutta but if you sit on my face I'll be able to smell it!
 

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Gives new meaning to the expression "Chocolate fingers" not to mention "a finger of fudge!"
 

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There's this really hot guy who's just appeared in our town! He's sleeping rough but he managed to get some clean clothes from the Salvation Army including socks and underwear!

I was waiting to use the cubicle in the public toilet and knew he was in there changing into his new underwear!

When he emerged from the cubicle with a large rucksack I went in and noticed that he had left his discarded undies in the corner of the cubicle!


I picked up those smelly little babies and buried my nose deep into those skidders! I beat my meat there and then even if there was a queue of guys waiting to use the cubicle!

I left the cubicle with those little stinkers stuffed in my pocket firmly resolved to hunt out that little horn dog and offer him the spare room in my house!!!
 

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24 year old LEWIS MAYO who plays for Scottish team Kilmarnock!

He looks like a boy who knows how to stripe the seat of his underpants for Daddy!

Just inhale the life-giving breath from between the cheeks of his arse!
 

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Not sure of the identity of the boy embracing JAMIE SHACKLETON of Leeds United but that lean angular face, those high cheekbones, those.....

Would love to ease down his sweaty, skidded briefs after 90 minutes on the pitch, rest his ankles on my shoulders and alternately inhale the smell of his socks and briefs as I let my little swimmers flood his virgin hole!
 

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-So Scoutmaster Sir I only need one more badge and then I become a Queen's scout!

-That's right Nathan and it's the personal hygiene badge!

-That's easy Sir because I really like to keep myself clean!

-Well it's not that simple Nathan You see we put you out in the country in a tent for one week with no change of underwear then we bring you back and all the scoutmasters get to sniff you all over and decide how clean you have managed to keep yourself!!!!I

If you don't pass the test then you have to retake it but all the scoutmasters get to shoot their own brand of cleaning fluid up your tight little mancunt!

You'll be a Queen's scout all right cos we are all queens here!
 

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-Look Doc I came to see you because I'm getting very bad headaches and you've had your head up my arse for the last half hour!

-Are you going to criticise me for being thorough!? I'm trying to dispel the rumour that NHS doctors are slipshod!
 

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It's no good sending me pictures of your donkey dick mate!

I'm a total arse man!

You can keep yer winkle!

I want chocolate sprinkle!!!
 

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A finger of fudge is just enough to give your boy a treat!

A finger of fudge is just enough before it's time to eat!

It's full of Bellingham goodness and very soft and sweet!

A finger of fudge is all you need to make you beat your meat!
 

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I am now very happy to confirm that the boy embracing JAMIE SHACKLETON in a previous post has been identified as NIALL HUGGINS!

Just look at him boys! What an absolute stud! I bet his girlfriend has a full time job wringing out her panties all day long!

She must be permanently wet just thinking about him!
 

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Just pull down his shorts and pants, bend him over, insert your tongue and lick and lick and lick until either a blister forms on your tongue or one forms on his pucker hole!
 

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22 year old Irish footballer TROY PARROTT is just begging to have his arse eaten out!

What a horny fucker he is!
 

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-Your socks are fucking rank mate! How long have you had them on!?

-You think they're bad! You wait till you smell my shitter! My knickers are virtually cemented to the crack of my arse!

-Ok! Better start them face squats then.....and you might like to get rid of them shorts so that I can hear the sound of your pucker hole engaging with my nose!!!
 

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