Dirty unwashed ass

[Sniffademskidz]

Years ago if you scored a goal all you got was a brisk handshake from your teammates.

This was then upgraded to bring covered in love bites and now you virtually get buggered face down on the pitch for your efforts as 23 year old BILLY GILMOUR discovered yesterday!!!

Never mind Billy there's an endless queue of your fans all ready to kiss it better!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

You ask me why I chose to be a security guard!

Very simple!

You see a fit guy with a tight arse in trackie bottoms, slip something into his rucksack as he leaves the store

The alarm sounds and you escort him into your office! You threaten him by calling the police! He's about to start a brilliant career at Uni and is squeaky clean so he doesn't want any trouble and offers himself up for the SRF treatment:

Sniff
Rim and
Fuck

You insist that he leaves you his socks and pants as a memento of the occasion!

Gratuitous sex on tap not to mention a good pension

 

[Sniffademskidz]

You haven't done a day's work since you left school and it's all you can do to drag yourself down to the Job Centre to sign on for Universal Credit!

You don't pay any rent but now that I've married your mother a few things are gonna change round here!

I might not be able to move you off that sofa but at least I can engage you in some horizontal jogging as I shaft that shitty arse of yours!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

So you've signed up for strawberry picking for the summer holiday?

( While he's picking strawberries I'll be taking his cherry!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Just make sure you carry your ID with you at all times!

You look younger than you are and I don't think any of our punters are keen to sample prison food!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Hey Vlad with all the guys from Eastern Europe over here offering to do odd jobs why do you think we are going to be more successful than them!?

-Because Tomas my friend I have posted an online advert with pictures of us in our underpants saying that any new client gets to eat our arses while we're working!

Man we are going to make a killing here in Britain!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Gives new meaning to the expression "crack cocaine" and a hell of a lot cheaper too!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Snakeskin underpants!?

Shouldn't be surprised as we always knew there was a python up front!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Are my tighty whitie Calvin's skidded enough for you!?

-They're just the starter mate!

The main course is staring me in the face!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

26 year old diver KYLE KOTHARI!

That Indian arse is hotter than a curry!

There is nothing substandard about HIS subcontinent!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

When I see a photo like this I just wish I'd been born with three noses so that I could sniff his feet and his arse at the same time!

I wonder which lucky lad had the pleasure of taking that ripe little cherry!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Northern lads have never been backward in cumming forward!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Happy Christmas baby!

You can use it as a tie rack, to make holes in your donuts just about anything you want!

-Yeah but what about when it goes soft!?

Trust me man if you're.my boyfriend that little baby will never go soft!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If you are not familiar with this horny little Scottish pairing CALLUM AND COLE then Google them forthwith!

The dark haired one does it for me! He has two milk white buns to die for and a package that you could hang your towels on!

If you want to see him flashing his booty then gaymale.com has plenty of mouthwatering videos!?

Happy viewing!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-When I applied for the job as your PA I didn't think that wiping your arse was in my remit!

-That'll teach you to read the contract carefully before signing!

For REMIT read RIM IT!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Morning lads! Thanks for answering my ad!My name's Josh and I run an escort agency called STRIP AND STRIPE!

-What's that then!?

-Well there's an increasing number of our punters who like to strip their boys and find nice big brown stripes on the seat of their Calvins!

Is this the sort of thing that you could provide as potential escorts!?

-Too fucking right mate! Soap and water are as lethal to our arseholes as sunlight to a vampire!I

-Perfect lads! Maybe you could give me a practical demonstration!

Sure! Just follow us into that wooded area.........

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I don't mind you sniffing my pits on the pitch but if you're gonna sniff my arse maybe we should wait till we get back in the
dressing room!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

28 year old Hong Kong Human Rights' activist Joshua Wong pictured on the right has just been imprisoned for four years!

With his boyish good looks he's not going to be left alone for long......poor boy my heart goes out to him ( sincerely meant!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If there is such a thing as reincarnation I certainly want to come back as a football!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Can't believe that I'm taking my four best A level geography students on a camping trip to uncover the mysteries of pastoral farming!

Once I unzip their sleeping bags it'll be like lambs to the fucking slaughter!!!!!!I

Better just check their IDs again and make sure that nobody was born after 19 November 2006!