Dirty unwashed ass

[Sniffademskidz]

Well your trainer fits perfectly Cinderella but will your pucker fit my cock!???

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"You may be our star goalkeeper but only my girlfriend gets to handle THOSE balls!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

How many of you remember the story of "Aladdin and his magic lamp" and how the evil wizard Abanazar tried to retrieve the magic lamp by offering new lamps for old!?

Just imagine applying that principle to underpants with the slogan:

"NEW PANTS FOR OLD!"

How many of the Scally lads in your area would jump at the chance of exchanging their filthy smelly skidded skuns for a pristine pair of tighty whitie Calvin's presenting you with the opportunity to sniff the brown stripes of all the horniest guys in your area!?

You might have to throw in a bottle of whisky, some ciggies and may be some crack cocaine but it seems a fair exchange to me!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

It's that time of year again lads!

This is where I as the proprietor of this prestigious hotel get to choose:

"REAR OF THE YEAR!"

from among the members of my staff!

Entry to this competition is obligatory and anyone who refuses risks immediate dismissal!

Receptionists, ground staff, maintenance staff , room service boys (18 and over!), gardeners, lifeguards, medical staff are all required to present their pucker holes to me for a ritual sniffing, rimming , fingering and fucking and I award marks out of ten for odour, texture, flavour and pounding pleasure!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Off with your boots Jack and sniff those sweaty feet then it's straight into that shitty crack! Phwoar!!!!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Just close your eyes and sniff your way up that love canal!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

"I'll be in the third cubicle from the left in the public toilet in the park!

Just make sure there are two big brown stripes in the seat of your Calvin's or I ain't paying ya!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-So you're quadruplets and you're all studying the same A level at Sixth Form College in England? How amazing is that!?

-You'll be telling me next that you're all fucking the same girl!

-No Ryan and George like boys!

-OK Ryan and George maybe you can assist me in my research.........My room number is 99!!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Declan Rice definitely puts the ARSE in ARSEnal!

Just imagine seeing those smelly brown stripes from the seat of his Calvin's coming towards you as he does uncountable squats on your face!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

An increasing number of people are choosing to fly Essex Airways from Southend airport!

The new attraction is the in flight entertainment offered by the airline!

Each flight offers at least three fit chavs who will accommodate any passenger who wants to sniff their unwashed arses!

These chats have all signed an agreement not to wash their arses two days before any given flight!

The guy in the yellow undies is Kyle from Pittsea- our number one entertainer! Kemal from Turkey is one of our technicians who has volunteered to show exactly how and where you can fuck your chosen chav!

Each aircraft is designed with a special area at the back of the plane where you can take your chav and shag the arse off him for a consideration!

The list of prices can be found in the Essex Airways in flight brochure or go to www.shagachavintheair.com!

Enjoy your flight!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-So Hassan you have come here today because you want to marry my daughter and you want both my permission and my blessing!

-That is right Sir! I come from a traditional culture which states that I need to obtain the permission of the bride's father and I am not allowed to touch her before the wedding night!

-Well that's wonderfully old-fashioned of you and of course I give my blessing unreservedly! After all what man would say no to having such a handsome young man as a son-in-law!

By the way we also have a tradition here in Essex that the bridegroom must present his unwashed socks and underpants to his prospective father- in -law every day for a month before the wedding!

-It shall be as you say Sir!

( Princess Diana complained that her marriage was too crowded because there were three people in it and this one is going to be no exception!

I'll find some way of getting my erect cock up that gorgeous Islamic shitter!)

 

[Sniffademskidz]

IT'S BEHIND YOU!

Well we are approaching the pantomime season!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-You must eat! You're a growing lad!

-What about you!

-I'm growing all right but in my pants! Every time I look at you- you sexy cunt!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Hello! I'm Hans from Koblenz in Germany!

-Hello Hans I'm Kai from Chelmsford in England !

-So this is what you English call "a blind date!"

-That's right.

-What a strange language English is! I don't want to be blind when I'm sniffing your arse! I want to see your lovely hole!

-Wow Hans you are very forward!

-We Germans don't like to waste any time! We are an efficient race!

So your car or mine!?

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Do you want me to sit on your face!?

-Well we've only got five minutes of our break left! What if the boss comes in!?

-Then I'll offer to sit on his face as well!

He's been wanting to get in my knickers for ages!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

You bastard Grealish!

You know exactly.what you're doing to us!

You know that we can look but we just can't touch!

Were all dying to whip off your trainers and have a sniff of those socks......and as for your arse!

When our mums used to make a choco!ate cake they would let us lick the last bits of the cake mix from the bowl!

We're all just longing to lick that chocolate cake mix from between the cheeks of your arse!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-How did the exam go today Jordan!?

-Not too well! I got sent out!

-How come!?

-Well I got to the bottom of the exam paper and thought that was it! I didn't understand what PTO meant !

The invigilator could see that I was in difficulty so he whispered in my ear:

"Please turn over!"

so I said "why!? Do you want to fuck me in the arse! ?"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Can you take your feet off the seat please!

-You gonna make me!?

Too fucking right I am!

(5 minutes later!)

-Now your feet are on my shoulders and I'm giving you the second ride of your day completely free!

Now that wasn't too hard was it!

No mate but your fucking cock is! just split me in two and fill me with your bus driver jizz!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

If you're going to beg successfully this Christmas you'll need to catch the punters' eye!

This guy is a "Big Issue seller" with a difference ! He's decided to go paperless and his gimmick is to invite people to run their fingers along his perineum 'cos if they do that skilfully enough there's gonna be one fucking" big issue" from his todger and they'll have to be really on the ball ( no pun intended!) to swallow it all!

"DON'T BE SHY- GIVE IT A TRY!!!!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-Aren't you just a little bit too old to be a male escort!?

-Listen my friend there may be snow on the roof but there's a roaring fire in the grate!