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Dirty unwashed ass

We interviewed a number of sexy stripperagram Santas in the run-up to the Christmas season and asked them how they felt about it!

"Listen mate!" said one guy "most of us do it for the money 'cos the kids want presents at Christmas!"

Most of the punters are pretty foul to be honest!

One woman at an Essex hen party told the waiter that she wasn't going to order a dessert 'cos she could stick her finger up my arse and enjoy the chocolate surprise!

One old woman grabbed my todger and sank her teeth into it! When she'd finished she left her false teeth clamped to my manhood!

To amend that well known phrase from Kenny Everett's Cupid Stunt:

"It's all done in the worst possible taste!"
 

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-Did you notice the sign in the window before you came in!?

"PAMPER YOUR PUCKER! "

It's a promotion were doing so with every haircut we offer you completely free of charge the chance to have your pucker hole shaved and creamed!

-I'm up for that mate!

-That makes two of us then!

I'll just take you through to the back when we've finished here!
 

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Has anyone ever noticed that "Jude Bellingham" rhymes with "Dude smelling him?!"

and who wouldn't be "smelling him" given half a chance!?
 

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"Now this exercise is all about persistence!

It doesn't matter what distractions you experience the key thing is to keep that ball balanced on the back of your neck......even if you feel my nose burrowing its way between the cheeks of your arse!!!!"
 

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-It's a disgusting habit and you need to give it up!

-I've been smoking for fifteen years and I don't have even the slightest cough!

-I'm not talking about smoking!

-I'm talking about taking your pants down BEFORE you have a pee!
 

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I'm gonna take care of that lovely arse crack while you're blowing him!

Just hope he didn't wipe his arse too vigorously after the last dump!

I definitely want some of his brown stuff!
 

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18 year old TYLER DIBLING of Southampton has just accepted the offer of fellow teammate JACK STEPHENS to make a man of him on the back seat of his car after the match!

He wants to show young Tyler the true meaning of the phrase:

"CUMMING OF AGE!"
 

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22 year old ROMEO BECKHAM!

"Hey Romeo back in the 1990s I used to watch all the videos of your dad's matches and pause the recording when there was a good view of his tight buns so that I could sniff the screen!


Any chance that history might repeat itself!?
 

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JAMES MORRIS who plays for Watford FC celebrated his 23rd birthday last Saturday!

What finer birthday present than giving him the rimjob of a lifetime!

Just look at that face boys!What WOULDN'T you do to him!?
 

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It was in 1921 that the infamous "Brown Shirts" came to prominence in Germany!

A hundred years down the line things are quite different and maybe it's time to establish another group ergo the "Brown Pants!"

All those gorgeous young German hunks staining the seat of their tighty whitie Calvin's with rich deep skidmarks and 2O year old ALEXANDER PAVLOVICH who plays for Bayern Munich is a perfect example!

I particularly like the picture of him in the gym! Would love to sniff that seat once he heads for the showers!
 

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I thought EE meant "Everything Everywhere!"

It does but when Tyler Dibling puts on that shirt all the boys know that he is advertising an "Edible Erection!"
 

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-On bugger I meant to pick up chocolate Hobnobs from Tesco and I've picked up the plain ones!

-No probs Mason just stick a couple up my arse! There's plenty of chocolate up there fella! My mum and dad have gone paperless in our house so I just pull my knickers up after a dump and use them as blotting paper!

-Thanks Connor you're a mate!

-Yeah but I'd like to be more than.just a mate to.you!

-I know and I appreciate that my friend but let me have me tea and biccies first!
 

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I love playing "Give us a clue" at Christmas and I think I've got the answer!

Is it

"BOYS FROM THE BROWN STUFF!?"
 

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Aron Bain is known as the Scally King and is arguably the fittest, filthiest, horniest scally lad in existence!

If you want to see him in action being fucked by George Mason and Joshy Boy you should go to" Hung Young Brit" or "ScottXXX" for some feet action!

I'd push him backwards into that skip and make the bastard moan!!!
 

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If you are into the finer things in.lfe you could do a lot worse than 21 year old Elliot Hanna who has played the part of Billy Elliot on stage!

Love his hairy legs. Can only imagine how good he looks in a pair of tights!
 

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If you are interested in seeing the hot lad on the right being 69d in the back of a white van then just Google " Joe the plumber part 2"
 

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If you prefer to see electricians going at it then Google "horny electricians!"The guy on the left is really hot and takes it up the arse so well!
 

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WHO SAYS A MAN CAN'T MULTITASK!?

When you've shagged your boyfriend senseless on a Saturday night why not use his buns as pillows!?

They will be naturally perfumed and if you fancy a midnight snack you won't have the bother of getting up to go to the fridge!!!!
 

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This Triga blockbuster of a film is cleverly entitled "FEET AND INCHES" and you don't have to have a degree in rocket science to work that one out!
 

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