Dirty unwashed ass

[Sniffademskidz]

-This is an announcement for the customer in cubicle 3 jerking off to the gay porn magazine!

In an attempt to become more environmentally friendly the municipal council has decided that this public convenience will now go paperless so customers have two options!

Either they can bring their own toilet paper or press the blue button on the wall and I will come and give them a deep clean with my tongue, a service which has now been written into my revised job description!

By the way my name is Donkey Dick Daniel and I'll be your toilet attendant for the day or for however long you want me to be part of your life!!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

-The King of England gets a 21 GUN salute on his birthday but the manager of Costa coffee only gets a 6 BUN salute!

-It's the best we could do Sir but we knew that you liked chocolate and you have three flavours to choose from!

After all it's the thought that counts!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Josh felt both nervous and embarrassed!

He was about to go.on his first date with a boy he had been communicating with online! The meeting was set for 230pm and it was now 225pm but horror of horrors he had just trusted a fart and followed through!

The big dilemma was :

Should he make an excuse and cancel the date or take a risk and see whether this boy was into " Nutella on white!!!!!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I gave up in the dating sites about a year ago! They were getting really expensive and meetings normally meant an expensive dinner so being a businessman myself I decided to cut out the middleman!

I knew this was a gay friendly pub so one night I came in ordered a pint and dropped my trousers!

Never looked back!

Yeah ! I know you never look back cos I was the one that had you last Friday night!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

With the greatest respect to Pink Floyd and their 1979 song:

"ALL IN ALL IT'S JUST ANOTHER PRICK IN THE WALL!"

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Lukas from Latvia knew that it wasn't going to be easy to start a new life in a foreign land and among people of a different culture but he had the courage to give it a try!

Arriving with virtually nothing in his pocket he jumped at the chance of a week's work on the building site but was unprepared for all the jibing from his English workmates!

He was sent in fruitless errands to ask for elbow grease and two of the lads who had taken quite a fancy to him sent him to the top of the ladder and each time they brought bricks and stuff up behind him they tried to get their nose as close to his arse crack as possible and then put their thumbs up to the chaps below!

They made him play strip poker when they had ensured they were all wearing about six layers of clothes while he was in shorts and T shirt!

At the end of the day they tossed a coin to see who was going to take home his shitty knickers for a ritual sniffing!

Poor Lukas was in no doubt that they would be taking this horseplay to its ultimate conclusion!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I can't believe his mum and dad have just gone off and left me here with him!

I know he's had his 18th birthday and he's an adult now but it's like leaving a wolf to guard a lamb!

Now he's going to sunbathe face down on that sunbed in just his Calvin's...........

I've sniffed the shit on the seat of his briefs in the laundry basket when I've gone inside from the gardening to take a pee......but how the hell am I going to stop myself from burying my face in that teenage arse..........

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Look mate I know you're new to Rentboys but you don't need to put on a fancy display for me with poxy dancing and sweet talk!

Just lie face down on the couch, I stick my nose between your buns for about five minutes, rip the seat out of your sweatpants, eat the shit out of your arse, then turn you over on your back!

Off come the sweatpants, your ankles are on my shoulders, I bareback you while sniffing yer feet and send a couple of pints of hot jizz up your shitter and you then fuck off to the next pervy old bastard!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

I settled down to watch Solihull Moors play Bromley in the second round of the FA cup today ever hopeful that those horny bastards from Solihull would knock Bromley into a cocked hat!

Alas it wasn't to be and Bromley were the victors by two goals to one!

Never mind! Here are a few of those Solihull studs and I'll leave you to imagine the state of their underpants after ninety minutes on the pitch!!!!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

THE DEFINITION OF COURAGE!

Show us yer arse Grealish!

I wanna sniff your skidded skuns Foden!

Sod the matchday programme Stones! I want you to autograph your sweaty briefs for me for Christmas!

My car regjstration is FX24 DRC! There'll be a couple of pillows on the back seat you can rest your head on!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Have you ever noticed that if you keep your gaze fixed on the arse of a chav or anyone at all they'll soon feel your eyes burning into them and turn round!?

It's then up to.you to give them a wink, a smile or point to your car parked over there!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

A report just published has revealed that the most coveted job in the world is that of school janitor! In Britain we refer to them as caretakers!

He starts work early BUT his first duty is to clean the gym locker room which is generally full of discarded Calvin's each pair with at least three brown stripes on the seat!

The janitor goes straight to the waistband and if he's lucky there's a name tag!

Interesting one today! RIMMI CENSLAS He must be from eastern Europe!

A quick sniff of the brown stuff and it's straight up to the Principal's office, unlock his desk and find the password to the personnel files!

You punch in the name RIMMI CENSLAS and hold your breath praying that he was born before 2 December 2006!

Bingo! He's just had his 18th birthday and what's more he's got his name down for the geography field trip to which you the janitor have to drive the boys involving a stop over for one night in a hotel!

RIMMI CENSLAS is going to get a birthday present he wasn't expecting Might even have to upgrade him to SHAGMI CENSLAS!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

The majority of scallies that you cum across are not renowned for their ability to discuss the theory of relativity!

Take this one for example! Anyone who wears two pairs of sweatpants in 30C heat on a summer's day is not the brightest soul on the planet!

However it does mean that his arse will be nice and sweaty and that combination of sweat and funk on the seat of his underpants is not something to be sniffed at.....or is it!? Pardon the pun!

He's the sort of guy who will let you fuck him for a packet of salt and vinegar crisps or maybe a new inner tube for his bike and you wouldn't need to find a room!

Just walk him to the nearest public toilet and bang the shit out of him!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Competition.Is hotting up between the big fast food chains.and companies such as "Deliveroo" and "Just Eat" are searching for ways to boost trade!

This is the latest initiative implemented by JUST EAT so they probably have the edge over their rivals!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

This guy's trainer was so turned on by the sight of his arse in lycra that he couldn't resist having him before the start of the competition and the young man had to do several laps of the velodrome with his ploughed pucker on display for all to see!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Tall blonde German footballer NICO SCHLOTTERBECK just sends me wild!

Would love to nick Nico''s knickers and have a good sniff of those brown stripes!

Just open your legs baby and let Daddy lick every drop of shit clinging to the hairs round your pucker hole!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

33 year old TOM CAIRNEY captains PL side Fulham and scored against Spurs on Sunday!

I love how he's grinding his arse into that football!

So want to sniff it!!!!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

This is the part of the job that stewards love most!

A hot young streaker invades the pitch and you don't even have the bother of stripping them!

It's straight down to the security section for a special brand of punishment!

The letters on their high viz jackets give us some idea of their intention!

Lick!

Fuck!

Cum!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

The 1968 musical about Oliver Twist features the song:

"You gotta pick a pocket or two boys!"

The updated X rated version features the song:

"You gotta poke a pucker or two boys!"

Worth a look especially if there is audience participation!

 

[Sniffademskidz]

Many youngsters today are too intrepid to settle for two weeks on the Costa del Sol or Bodrum!

They are keen to escape from the tourist trail as soon as possible and discover the "real" country!

However two clean cut boys like these would be ill advised to undertake a journey of exploration in a country like Guinea where Mamady Doumboya has just taken power in a coup!

They would probably be captured, brought before him accused of spying and then he would bugger them both with his black mamba before mounting their dirty underpants on the wall next to the lions' heads as trophies!