Disgusted With Myself

[Kadratis]

...and no, this isn't one of those posts where someone is disgusted with themselves because they're gay. I'm proud of who I am, so suck it.

Anyway, the reason I've come to the wonderful JUBers wisdom again is because... uh, well... I guess I should start from the beginning.

My cousin from New York, who I haven't seen in a year or so, stopped by our house to say hello after he visited a friend in Eastern Ohio. Well, when he first walked in, my jaw like nearly hit the floor. I mean, he was hot hot hot! Hell, his cologne drove me even more wild. While my grandparents were catching up with him, I couldn't keep my eyes off of him, but in a way nobody would notice. Every time we spent alone today only had awkward silence or mindless chitchat. Add to that he doesn't know I'm gay, but I'm guessing he can tell by my mannerisms. It's not like I'm gonna scare him off by telling him that I like him, but I'm more curious about this:

I feel utterly disgusted with myself. Is it wrong to feel attracted this way towards a cousin, especially a first cousin?

 

[Telstra]

No,
just play around, muck around, wrestling around ..what ever if it's fun.

 

[bluedragon4]

You are human. I actually had my 1st sexual experience with my 1st cousin. He's not gay but when we were kids and teens we got crazy. It's not gonna happen but looking is ok.

 

[G-Lexington]

Let's just say that'd be a tough one to explain at the next family reunion. Is it wrong to think a cousin is hot? No, not at all. But I'd seriously advise against pursuing anything, or even fantasizing about him much if you can help it.

Lex

 

[oracle12]

He's only your cousin. It's not as if he's your brother or father. If he's a distant cousin don't feel bad, if he's a closer one -- well still don't feel bad.

 

[chatolandia]

fantasies do not equal reality.

Don't worry about it, unless he tries something with you...

 

[chatolandia]

In most cultures...

 

[JackFTwist]

no one has the important question: if you saw him a year ago, not seen him since until this sighting, what made him so hot all of a sudden?

 

[StlKj]

You're a man. Men are visually stimulated. You're gay. He's hot.

It might be more disgusting if you weren't attracted to him.

Relax. You haven't done anything wrong.

Stop beating yourself up, and enjoy the view.

 

[Demandred753]

Hell no, you're normal. Quite frankly, I'm getting turned on from you describing your cousin. Pictures, please.

 

[rareboy]

Cousin crushes are very common.

 

[heymikey]

When I was about 7 or 8 years old, I used to kiss a female (first) cousin on the lips. I don't know why but thank god I grew out of it.

 

[innocentbychoice]

It's not wrong.

I had my first experience with my cousin.

 

[attallaborn]

ok, your human ( i get that) and he's hot (i get that). now, dont feel disgusted with yourself UNLESS you want to have some type of intimaite relationship with him but, of course, that's not your intentions, right? If so, then you should be ashamed of yourself! He's an attractive person (hell, i think my cousin is hot as hell and she's a girl and im gay) but ther's too many hot guys (who arent related to you) to gawk over and lust for. what im trying to say that its not wrong for thinking hes hot but is wrong if you want to do the nasty with him, which im sure you dont.

 

[hummer7979]

Outside of this particular moment, in Western Culture, first cousins have never been considered off limits.

Especially if biological child-bearing is not involved.

I would say that it will seem "wrong" in the context of your family structure, but there's nothing physically wrong with it. For that reason, I'd say anything you do should be kept between you two, unless you build a relationship strong enough that you'd be willing to sacrifice your family's acceptance.

 

[Matt-T]

Kinda reminds me of that scene in Mean Girls...

"You know who's looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski"
"Okay, you did not just say that!"
"What? He's a good kisser"
"He is your cousin!"
"Yeah, but he's my first cousin..."

Anyway, there's nothing wrong with fantasising about your cousin. IMO there's nothing wrong with fooling around together either. An intimate relationship might be going a bit far though. But hell, if it's something you're both comfortable with, go for it. He might be straight anyway.

 

[TygreBryte]

I remember a friend of mine, referring to this female cousin of his who, evidently, had a big crush on my friend, and who, evidently, had a strong physical resemblance to my friend that didn't seem comely in a "feminine" way, said this:

"You can't keep them from wanting to sleep with their cousins."

So I think your reaction is pretty normal. It sounds a whole lot like a reaction I had to seeing a male cousin of mine the first time in years, several years back. "Wow, he's HOT!"

I actually had spent a lot of growing up time with this cousin, and I actually tried to get some stuff started when we were young... but he would have none of it.

And that's fine. I mean, he is who he is, I am who I am, we communicate fairly well, and I still recognize him as a very handsome man.

Don't stress. But, it might be helpful to think about other things, on purpose, when he comes to your mind!

 

[innocentbychoice]

"You know who's looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski"
"Okay, you did not just say that!"
"What? He's a good kisser"
"He is your cousin!"
"Yeah, but he's my first cousin..."

LOL!! Karen it's so funny.

Anyways...lots of guys do things with their cousins...It's pretty normal I'd say. In any case, it's not like you're gonna get married with him and your family is gonna be divided so just enjoy the fantasy! And if it becomes a reality, make sure nobody finds out .