Distant Relationship/Friendship?

[LilVirgin]

hey guy's, i met this guys on biggercity.com (yeah i have a thing for chubby men ) and well we had this friendship it's going well and he's pretty neat... the only thing is he lives only 3 hours from where i live... and it's killing me because i want to meet him and stuff did you guy's have any experience with that kind of thing?

 

[deejay1112]

If you meet up at a half-way point, you're only an hour and a half away from each other. If you think it's worth the old college try, then you could meet up on the off-chance and see how it goes.

 

[Eagle653]

I was in such a relationship one time, and it didn't work out, but not because of the distances.

Personally, I couldn't do a distance-relationship because personal contact is too important to me and I know that about myself. You, however, might be different and I have known several couples who have successfully pulled off a thriving relationship for quite a long time over large distances. However, in these cases, the couples had lived together before jobs and whatnot forced living in different cities. Meeting over the internet, without that initial real-time connection is a bit harder.

Meet up--somehow--as often as you can so you can get to know him and see him interact with the world, and you. That way, you can get and keep a realistic view of him and not build up a view of him that may not be real.

Good luck--I hope this works out for you.

 

[trinket]

This might sound kind of funny, LilVirgin, but you might actually be in a bit better of a position being apart, especially in such early stages of the relationship - I've seen friends/couples where one of them uproots and moves to be near the other and the chemistry quickly fades or there's a bit of bitterness or resentment as an undercurrent about the move, and whether it's changing schools, jobs, moving away from family, etc. it's a big step that one half of the couple undertook because they thought they were madly in love and it trumped all practical reasons to stay. And then they break up and one of them feels so disconnected and miserable.

deejay1112 (welcome to JUB by the way!) has a good point about meeting halfway though. You could do that, or visit each other/stay with each other on weekends or something and see how it goes. Just be careful about making any big step - I'm not saying that people don't move to be close to each other and the relationship thrives, but I've heard my friends bemoan just the opposite enough times that I'd be a bit cautious!

 

[rjmrjm21]

3 hours is not bad at all. If you really like him then go for it, get to know him. It's the internet era, everybody travels.

 

[Seasoned]

If you two have the means to travel meet him, but take the usual precautions until you feel comfortable. Someone you know ought to know what you're up to b

 

[TheFireGod]

You're lucky that he's 3 hours away.

A group of my best friends live in the next time and climate zone, we only visit each other at least once a year.

 

[bankside]

I started out 3 hours away from the guy I've been with for 13 years now.

Drive back and forth, or take the bus. Even flew once.