Do effeminate guys come out earlier?

[Jordan475]

As I've started to meet more gay people, I've noticed that guys who are more effeminate generally come out earlier, and perhaps have a bit of an easier time with self-acceptance. Maybe people that really can't hide it aren't as able or willing to put on the charade. What do you think, do more effeminate guys come out earlier?

 

[Oden_grey]

I agree with you. Effeminate men cannot hide their homosexual natures as well as the rest of us. This, by a matter of course, requires admission of homosexuality sooner. Nuff said.

 

[herenthere]

I work with a guy, who is so effeminate it's astounding. He is as straight as a friggin arrow, married happily and three kids. In fact he is so obsessed with women, in my opinion he needs some professional help.

 

[Roland00]

In fact he is so obsessed with women, in my opinion he needs some professional help.

​

 

[Eagle653]

Yes, I think they do because it's usually so obvious that it's silly not to. Or, it's so obvious that everyone knows-upon-meeting and "coming out" is either stating the obvious, unnecessary, or redundant.

 

[Danugh]

As I've started to meet more gay people, I've noticed that guys who are more effeminate generally come out earlier, and perhaps have a bit of an easier time with self-acceptance. Maybe people that really can't hide it aren't as able or willing to put on the charade. What do you think, do more effeminate guys come out earlier?

Effeminate men even if they dont come out people already know that they are perhaps gay.

Although you should know that not all effeminate men are gay, believe it or not, my only question was what woman would date an effeminate man?

That question was answered whne i watched jerry springer and sally. There are women out there that go crazy for effeminate men.

Don't judge a book by its cover

 

[doctorsun]

It depends on their upbringing. I know a guy who is in such deeply-rooted denial because he was raised in a strict Christian household. I've known him since he was 7 and even back then, he was quite obviously gay and it only became clearer as he aged through middle and high school. Everyone...and I do mean everyone...assumed he was gay and by the time we were in high school, it wasn't even an issue for anyone anymore. He just never accepted it. I hadn't seen him since graduation three years ago and then I found his profile on Facebook and he was still claiming to be straight. He (anonymously, but I knew it was him) contacted me, asking me all kinds of questions about me being gay. He avoids the topic of him being gay, though. It's really sad. I feel bad for him. I can't imagine being so in denial and hating myself that much.

So, effeminate guys don't necessarily have an easier time coming out.

 

[KennyD]

Like someone said earlier .. I too, know of VERY Effeminate guys who would NEVER even think of looking at, or being near another male in a sexual way ....
Also; they have children , Girlfriends- wives etc ... and appear very happy with their lives ...
I just don't think you can judge a person by appearance in Many cases ...

 

[Jordan475]

I wasn't implying that all effeminate guys are gay. I was trying to ask if effeminate guys who ARE gay have an easier time coming out and accepting themselves than not so effeminate guys who are gay. Of course I know not to judge a book by its cover.

 

[ixthrock]

as far as i can tell, the closet never had a chance to exist, really, for effeminate gay guys.

kids are cruel; if you're a sissy, you're going to hear about it a lot before you're even a teen. hence, most naturally effeminate men i know who are gay, have an extra thick skin - they have put up with far more bullshit in their lives than the more "normal acting" queers, and so we come to an observed irony:

sissies are actually less prone to getting their feelings hurt if someone calls them a faggot, or suspects them of being gay.

if a sissy went through a crisis of self-examination everytime someone called them out for every little affect or mannerism, they would never be able to get anything accomplished in their life.

it's the "str8-acting" guys that really seem to be self-conscious about the way other people perceive them, even if they loathe the term "str8-acting."

 

[maxxximum]

they don't even need to come out of anything.

 

[tonyboy]

I agree with you. Effeminate men cannot hide their homosexual natures as well as the rest of us. This, by a matter of course, requires admission of homosexuality sooner. Nuff said.

I agree with Oden ^. He hit it exactly right.

 

[Therobbyshow]

Not all effeminate guys are gay people. I think it's just the fact that
society pretty much labels guys who are less masculine, as being gay.
So it's actually easier for gays that are effeminate to come out since
it's already assumed they are gay...so the shock or risk isn't there (as much).
Not saying they don't get treated unnecessarily bad, because they have
had to deal with the name calling their entire life (sissy and so forth).

 

[Raincoat Massacre]

Well im effeminate and I came out at 15 so yeah you probobly have something here lol

 

[wentworth]

OH, actually I had just been thinking about that the other day.
I think that may be precisely the reason why there's a stereotype about gays being effeminate.

Here's my idea: Effeminate guys are more in touch with their feelings, so they don't go into denial as bad, and there's the stereotype so people wonder about their sexuality anyway. More masculine guys want to maintain their masculinity and aren't as in touch with their feelings, so they do into denial. It's also easy for them to pretend they're not gay, and so they do.

Of course, that depends on how you define effeminate traits...

Please stop!
That nonsense has got to stop.

Exactly what does that mean??

There is no one way to express your feelings. There is no one way to handle your feelings. If it works for you, it works for you.
Who is to say that women (or effeminate men) are more "in touch" with their feelings than men?
Is it simply because they cry? Because they talk about their feelings more?

What is "in touch"?

Don't take it personally, I just have had enough with this over the years. People deal with their emotions in different ways. Not all of us have to sob in the bathroom.
------------
Otherwise, I agree with you and everyone else here.
"Denial' is a strange concept though. You never know if the guy thinks he's gay but won't tell you about it. He may just be "smart" as opposed to closeted.

 

[Riverrick]

I've often wondered about this too. And it leads to a strange paradox.

Which is, it seems that the more effeminate guys are actually the braver gay guys. Since they have trouble hiding, they seem to not give a fuck what people think and just live their lives out in the open.

 

[confusedboy23]

Some do, some don't. It is one of those stereotypes again.

I think there are just as many effeminate guys out there who are totally striaght in their orientation as there are gay ones!

 

[amigo32]

Ha, that reminds me of a guy I know.

Everybody "knew" he was gay for years before he actually came out. I think he was a little disappointed with everyone's reaction.....he was like:

"I know this is probably a surprise, but I'm gay!"

the general reaction was something like: "It's about time".


On the other hand I knew someone for years with absolutely no suspicion that he was gay at all....it actually took me a little bit to realize he wasn't joking. My guess is it probably made it a lot harder for him, because he probably knew it was going to be more of a surprise.

 

[Lube]

I've often wondered about this too. And it leads to a strange paradox.

Which is, it seems that the more effeminate guys are actually the braver gay guys. Since they have trouble hiding, they seem to not give a fuck what people think and just live their lives out in the open.

Yeah, I agree. More power to the effeminate guys. They deserve a lot of credit. Gay acceptance wouldn't be where it is without them.