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Do guys like when you play hard to get?

B

bayern20

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So I met this guy (after we chatted online, talked on the phone, seen pics of each other) for about a week.

In any case, we went for some drinks last nite and he invited me back to his apartment. The guy is really nice. (he is 6yrs older than me, has a good job, and is quiet abit more experienced then I am) He has had sex more in one day then I have in total. (with his long term bf)

There is probably that crucial stage in every meeting where you rather get to a point that you feel comfortable with each other or there is dead silence. We got to a point where we were smiling, laughing, and just in general being quiet playful. (and just wanting to be there with each other) He said I could stay as long as I want.

He absolutley knew though that I was nervous. I was not "shaking" nervous, it was nothing to do with him (I find him cute) just that I was a bit uncomfortable since I dont have much experience.

Anyways, we ended up holding hands, hugging for awhile, kissing each other on the neck...I went down and he held me in his arms. He always kept asking if I was comfortable and was it too much.

I was really enjoying myself but I really didn't want to go further. I didn't want to ruin it and I was not ready. He wanted to kiss me but I kinda pulled back.

I asked him if it was ok for me to leave and would he be angry..and there was a 2 sec pause and he said noooooooo...(laughing a bit)then he's like "seriously, its really fine, do what you feel like".

He said during that time that he found it cute that I was uncomfortable and that I'm probably the most difficult about it (but he said in a good way)

So, I'm wondering, do guys like this or is he just not gonna be interested anymore because I move to slow? As I said, he is 27, he is much more experienced, I dont think he needs to wait for me.
 
I am most turned on by people who are as into me as I am into them. The chase for me is getting to know someone in an emotionally intimate way. Both parties have to be involved for that to happen.

I am a sucker for a flirt with a smooth line....lol

hard to get is not really a turn on, but i am a freak for a little sexual teasing. photos that don't give away the whole ball of wax are far mor erotic to me than blatant nudity.
 
bayern20 said:
So, I'm wondering, do guys like this or is he just not gonna be interested anymore because I move to slow? As I said, he is 27, he is much more experienced, I dont think he needs to wait for me.
Click to expand...

No, he doesn't need to wait for you, but he was in your situation once and will probably wait for you for that very reason. If anything, I believe you have earned his respect.
 
Yeah. I dont even know if its hard to get. I am not "playing" hard to get, that is just how quickly I am comfortable at moving.

I tried with words and the things I did to show him as much as I could that I was into him..without going all the way.
 
](*,) ](*,)

Did I hear something about a long term b/f??????????????????

Already "fun and games" are starting?

I should think that the fact that he has a long time boy friend and you are new on the "scene" should pretty much which tell you which step you hold on the railing.

No wonder he is so much more experienced sexually then you are, It may sound a litlle odd but it sounds as if he has no trouble practicing.

Just trying to put things in perspective here - but where the hell is the whole thing supposed to be going? And with whom and with why?

If he is already leading a "double life," what is to say there is not already a "third life" hanging around some where?

Wasn't there a song called "The False Pretender?"

The Film: "Sunday Blood Sunday - Peter Finch and Glenda Jackson and Murry Head.

The Line (Glenda Jackson)

Alex: I've had this business: "Anything is better than nothing." There are times when nothing *has* to be better than anything.


never mind me I am just a local village idiot back from a trip to see the folks in the cave.BC.](*,)

:rolleyes:
 
No..with his ex bf of course. He does not have a bf right now. He said that the relationship is over. Though he said that he had sex with him about a month ago, but that was more, "better to do it with someone you known than someone else".

I dont know. The guy seems nice and genuine to me.

The first day we talked online he told me "If your looking for tonight, I'm not into that" Almost every guy I have chatted to has asked me to go to their place the first night and have sex. This guy has totally been cool about everything.
 
sounds like someone with experience :)

to answer your question: when i notice that someone totally is into me. i like to let him wait a bit. that way i can check his motives, and his reaction which will tell me more about him.
and if i am totally into someone i like it when it isn't too easy, too. it spoils the game :)
 
Look, there is really no way of knowing, till you directly ask him or wait for him to call you again. I see no reason for you not to get in touch with him again, if you are interested in doing so.

You were doing things at your own pace, which is just as fine. He was probably expecting a bit more on a first date. No one is right or wrong here. It is just the way the buck stops. Sometimes your hopes come true, sometimes they don't.

You seem to be interested in this guy. Give him a call and get yourself another date. Do what you are comfortable with but do not play anything. Most guys are good at detecting the pretense and that might turn them off very quickly.

Good dudes are not easy to find these days. Treat your friend with respect and basic sincerety and make sure he does the same in return. Never use sex as any means to any goal. This always backfires badly.

SC
 
I've had that happen to me a few times, that a guy pulls back when it looked and felt like we were on. I don't hold it against them. Why would I? I think it's everybody's right to say no at anytime and I respect that.

I wouldn't respect him any less if he stayed, though ;)
 
If he is just looking for a f**k then he will not call, but if he is looking for a relationship and you are too then everything will fall into place naturally. It will happen when you are both ready....if you want long term sometimes waiting is a good thing.

Mac
 
What is this "playing hard to get" you speak of???

Maybe I should try that sometime.

A4A
 
I would say a good rule of thumb is, if you already know you don't want to have sex that evening, stay vertical. Once you "went down" (I assume you mean on the sofa), he probably figured, OK, This is it. So he was a little surprised when you backed off. But it sounds like he handled it well.
 
Is there any better feeling though then being in a guy's arms and them slowly touching and comforting you? It just felt amazing.

now if someone says "yeah, getting plowed" I swear... :D
 
No, it's great to just cuddle, nothing wrong with that at all. You just need to make sure the other guy is on the same page.

You know how most guys think, once he gets you in his apartment, he naturally figures you're going to "go all the way." So if that's not what you had in mind, you need to alert him before he gets too worked up.
 
Well, I did make the wrong move when I was sitting on the sofa and then I went down on it a bit and layed down (not all the way) He came over not long after. During this time though he was always saying if I was comfortable because I would always look at him and smile (and giggle sometimes) like a little school boy (he actually said that) because I just thought he was cute and he was always looking at me too.

But when he came over to me, when we held hands, he still kept asking if I was comfortable. He told me that he knew I had a bit to drink so we would not be having sex (to not worry..he would not take advantage of me)...but we did hug and cuddle and do other things. He always kept asking if I was ok with what was happening.

He said the cutest things at the end though. I said "If I look over at you sometimes, its just because your so cute" and he said "so should I be looking at you all the time then?"
 
For a long term relationship you can't play hard to get as if it's a choice. You have to be hard to get! This allows ample time to get to know each other- motives, whether they really are looking for a relationship, are they trustworthy?

For me I would love to play hard to get but not when I'm looking for a Long term relationship. As a warm up before the final act it can really arouse sexual aggression from the person who doing the pursuing, making it very pleasurable for the passive man, who is being pushed and pinned against the wall.
 
bayern20 said:
Well, I did make the wrong move when I was sitting on the sofa and then I went down on it a bit and layed down (not all the way) He came over not long after. During this time though he was always saying if I was comfortable because I would always look at him and smile (and giggle sometimes) like a little school boy (he actually said that) because I just thought he was cute and he was always looking at me too.

But when he came over to me, when we held hands, he still kept asking if I was comfortable. He told me that he knew I had a bit to drink so we would not be having sex (to not worry..he would not take advantage of me)...but we did hug and cuddle and do other things. He always kept asking if I was ok with what was happening.

He said the cutest things at the end though. I said "If I look over at you sometimes, its just because your so cute" and he said "so should I be looking at you all the time then?"
Click to expand...

This actually sounds like a pretty decent guy. Have you been in touch since that night?
 
^ Agreed. He sounds lovely and very considerate. have you heard from him? If not, it's time you called him. Don't let this one go withut a few more dates!
 
Yep. That happened on Tuesday. We have chatted on Wed and last night...we were actually supposed to meet up on Thursday night but I have too many things going on. So we will meet up on the weekend.
 
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