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Do I Go For Him Or Not

starwars

starwars

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theres this guy that ive known years thru my 6 years older sister. He was her best mate at school and is now an open gay YAY, i started talkin to him thru facebook and msn about a month ago and now we talk almost every night for about3 hours straight.

This is where it gets complicated... i think im into him, but kinda not sure, and up until tonight i always believed he had no interest in me either, which i didnt care about. For the past few weeks hes been tryin to get me to get him together with some other kid who i know (hes openly gay) so naturally thru that i thought no interest in me.

On msn he always invites me to see him on webcam really randomly like, i would return the favour but mines fucked, anyway tonight jokingly he said hed suck me off, at first i thought nothing of it until i randomly bought it up again later by askin if he really would, he said yes and were kinda gonna meet up at somepoint, hopefully to get to know each other better first then develop from there.

But there are loads of things tellin me not to;

1) im still technically in the closet although theres a wide range of people who i have told in the past fortnight.

2) he was my sisters best mate, she dont know im gay yet.

3) the age difference between us (6 years) is kinda severe.

What do you guys think i should do???

***he also showed me his dick on webcam tonight, i kinda got instant erection like, but y do i keep gettin these bad feelings?
 
Six years is a lot if one of you is under eighteen. Assuming you're not, that shouldn't be too much of an issue.

One of the reasons you're getting "bad feelings" is that you're new at this. There's still this excitement at having a guy show you his stuff, and the feeling that you're doing something "naughty" probably adds to that. But again, if you're both above 18, you both can do whatever the hell you want.

Should you? I'd say yes. Just make it clear to him that you're still in the process of coming out, and you're still kinda nervous about the whole thing. I can't imagine he won't understand. :)

Lex
 
If he's a guy worth pursuing then he'll understand that you aren't fully out and that you haven't fooled around with a guy (and possibly a girl) and he'll go as slowly as you need too.

You might want to consider coming out to your sister before you meet this guy, she can probably tell you a lot about him and whether or not she thinks he'd be a guy for you. I'm not saying you have to or, should or should not follow her advice concerning him (I'm assuming that if it's one of your sister's friends the guy isn't a total creep and she wouldn't tell you to run screaming for the hills) but you'd be foolish not to avail yourself of such a resource.
 
i think it stems from my knowledge that he has had sex in the past with men without the use of condoms, but even if i ask him if hes std free, would i really know hes tellin the truth like?
 
Are you sure you're 18?

I only ask because of the sum of everything you've written. If not, you should be posting in empty closets. Assuming you are, you are in for a lifetime of disaster if you have to ask for advice regarding...

i think it stems from my knowledge that he has had sex in the past with men without the use of condoms, but even if i ask him if hes std free, would i really know hes tellin the truth like?
Click to expand...

Facespacebookpage might be one way to find out some things about a person, but not everything...instead of just looking at him as a potential fuck puppet, evaluate whether you want to spend real versus online time with him as a friend.

While you might be gung ho to drop trousers for him while your on cam, is he the guy that you want to thank for being your first sexual partner?
 
starwars said:
i think it stems from my knowledge that he has had sex in the past with men without the use of condoms, but even if i ask him if hes std free, would i really know hes tellin the truth like?
Click to expand...

Because you have to assume EVERYONE you sleep with has an STD, and act accordingly. You may think you know this guy, but you really don't. So you have to always wear a condom. Period. End of story. No negotiation.

Now, should you sleep with this guy? If you like him, and are into him, then sure go for it but play safe.

If you are just sexually frustrated and just want sex and not really into him, I'd find someone else.
 
rareboy said:
Are you sure you're 18?

I only ask because of the sum of everything you've written. If not, you should be posting in empty closets. Assuming you are, you are in for a lifetime of disaster if you have to ask for advice regarding...
Click to expand...



Im 18 with him being late 24, still though, the age! I always wanted someone my age like!?
 
The age difference will matter if you're under 18. Which you are most certainly not.

Lex
 
Do what you need to do. Hookup if you want.

But don't live under the illusion that people don't talk, so if you do the deed, don't be surprised if your sister finds out that you did the nasty her best friend.


starwars said:
he also showed me his dick on webcam tonight, i kinda got instant erection like, but y do i keep gettin these bad feelings?
Click to expand...

Getting your weener wet with this guy might give you some good feelings, until you work through the idea that these are "bad feelings", I suspect that it won't solve anything.

Or you could find another guy your age, date and do what most of your friends have been doing with the opposite sex. This might give you more of a chance to work through your feelings without having the complications of wanking off with your sister's (older) best friend.
 
ye, the good thing is he was her best friend, only in school, i dont think they talk that much anymore, but she is aware i have a lot more contact with her than i do
 
ye, the good thing is he was her best friend, only in school, i dont think they talk that much anymore, but she is aware i have a lot more contact with her than i do
Click to expand...

I haven't the least idea what you are trying to say here.
 
"Six years is a lot." :rolleyes: *sure*

Have you got an idea how old I was when I lost my virginity? 13.
And "he"? 31.
Was I in the closet? Yeah.

Anyway you totally should consider coming out, I remember how it felt like to be closeted, like Atlas holding the globe (in fact he held the celestial rings I think) and now it's like... better. I even have a "I Kiss Boys" sticker.

Oh. The age of conset in the UK is 18... wow. Here in Massachusetts it's 16 I think. (But I lost my virginity somewhere else). I see in Spain it's 13... I should've lost mine there. Spaniards are hot!
 
starwars said:
ye, the good thing is he was her best friend, only in school, i dont think they talk that much anymore, but she is aware i have a lot more contact with her than i do
Click to expand...

An inconsequential detail in the big picture. The advice stays the same.

There's a reason that dating is the conventional way to a relationship. Older guys preying upon their friend's younger brothers is not conventional- it's creepy.
 
starwars said:
Im 18 with him being late 24, still though, the age! I always wanted someone my age like!?
Click to expand...

That little bit of an age difference is nothing. My bf and I have about 15 years of difference and things could not be better. For the rest of what you have written, it sounds like you are trying to come up with reasons not to take things to the next level and see him.

My suggestion is to talk to him first about your concerns and see what he says. If he is serious, then he will be supportive and work with your concerns. Life is too short not to take a chance occationally.
 
I still actually question the statement that the OP is 18.
 
i say you should talk to him, express your concerns, tell him you like him, but don't want your sister to know yet until you are both ready...and take it from there. i think he'd be very understanding. good luck
 
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