Ok so i met this dude and was sweet and went out for while and said he was gonna take things slow and it wasnt bout sex but one nite he tells me at 3am lets go drive roun and we park at sum place at 3am and hav sex, first time for me but i only did oral, ok now next day he says since my mom found out wat we had done to take a break and so we become friends. Then he gets pissed at me for no reason and says he has gf now and i should leave him alone. So now im pissed and i asked him why he even lied and told me he luved me and that it was his fault to that he was my first cuz not like he put any effort into stopping me and he said "Thats Life, grow up". So do i have a rite to be mad in ur opinion?
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Do I hav a rite to be mad?
- Thread starter blayne90
- Start date
Diodorus
Sex God
Yes you do in my opinion. It seems he blatently used you. I'm a bit unclear as to how anyones mom found out though. Sounds like a total jerk to me. I wouldn't give him the energy of resentment though.
However don't hold on to the anger.
Lesson learned.
Time to move on. Someone like that does not even deserve your attention.
However don't hold on to the anger.
Lesson learned.
Time to move on. Someone like that does not even deserve your attention.
racer2438
JUB Addict
welcome to being used. My be your maybe not be your last. So the guy was a idot, ok dont get hung up on it and just move on. Life will bring these now and then.
Should be mad, probly, are you going to make it a big deal, you might.
so get mad and get over it , life to short.
Should be mad, probly, are you going to make it a big deal, you might.
so get mad and get over it , life to short.
spreadeagle
JUB Addict
Well, you can be mad at him but it won't achieve anything.
The problem arose however, because you listened to what he said instead of observing his actions. Your impression was that you were (both) going to take things slow. Yet you say he 'tells' you at 3.00AM that you are going to drive around. That 'tells' says it all - at that point you gave your power away - God knows what you were doing up at 3.00AM, but perhaps that's beside the point.
From what you say I take it that you gave him a blow job - at some point yuou must have made the decision to go down on him, and in making that decision you have to take responsibility for the fallout. If he forced you into it then he was breaking the law and you'd be wise to steer clear from him in future.
In my experience when someone says 'lets just be friends' the only rational response is'no' - to want to be friends with someone who has betrayed you only signifies poor self esteem - you're better off without them.
It's fine to forgive someone, but pointless to condemn yourself to spending time in the company of someone you have reason to mistrust. You're telling him he can use and abuse you and get away with it, and telling yourself that you're prepared to be hurt again - is he worth it?
The problem arose however, because you listened to what he said instead of observing his actions. Your impression was that you were (both) going to take things slow. Yet you say he 'tells' you at 3.00AM that you are going to drive around. That 'tells' says it all - at that point you gave your power away - God knows what you were doing up at 3.00AM, but perhaps that's beside the point.
From what you say I take it that you gave him a blow job - at some point yuou must have made the decision to go down on him, and in making that decision you have to take responsibility for the fallout. If he forced you into it then he was breaking the law and you'd be wise to steer clear from him in future.
In my experience when someone says 'lets just be friends' the only rational response is'no' - to want to be friends with someone who has betrayed you only signifies poor self esteem - you're better off without them.
It's fine to forgive someone, but pointless to condemn yourself to spending time in the company of someone you have reason to mistrust. You're telling him he can use and abuse you and get away with it, and telling yourself that you're prepared to be hurt again - is he worth it?
G-Lexington
Lex. Icon. Devil.
You have a "right" to be mad at absolutely anything. You can be utterly pissed that your friend wore a blue T-shirt today, if you so desire. Your friend might not understand WHY you're so pissed at him, but you can still be pissed. The worry comes whether people will understand or accept the things you do in your state of pissivity.
This guy has said you two are done, so you can be as pissed or unpissed as you want. Just know that it isn't going to change anything. He says you two are over, so you're over. Move on.
Quiz time. This guy calls you up in three months, angry/crying. His girlfriend dumped him, and now he realizes that you two really did have something special. What do you do?
Lex
This guy has said you two are done, so you can be as pissed or unpissed as you want. Just know that it isn't going to change anything. He says you two are over, so you're over. Move on.
Quiz time. This guy calls you up in three months, angry/crying. His girlfriend dumped him, and now he realizes that you two really did have something special. What do you do?
Lex
innocentbychoice
JUB Addict
This reminded me of a great quote from Marilyn Monroe that says:
"A wise girl (in this case boy) kisses but doesn't love
listens but doesn't believe
and leaves before she is left".
Eternaldarkness
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there could be an explanation for all of this.
Most guys will say its all about the love and not sex. Some guys do mean it, some don't. You can't rely on that to determine anything. Maybe that is what he wants but cannot do. People have sexual urgers and sometimes the penis is stronger than the brain! Can't blame him... hell, horniness only has one cure!
There is two explanation for why he broke up.
He regretted because he feels like he is not keeping his promise and was forcing you when you're not ready. Afraid that things will turn out bladly, he'd rather end the relationship with an excuse. Deeply remorseful and sorry. decided to leave you alone. (seriously, this is the less likely scenario..or this is what he wants to trick you into believing.)
The real story, in my own opinion is, he felt unsatisfied because you weren't giving. He only wanted sex but lied in the first place to gain trust. Being an asshole and decided to break up with you. Lying because he wants to take more advantage from you since you're completely miserable and vulnerable for further attacks.
In my opinion, take his advice. I'm not saying you need to grow up in that sense but grow in a sense that by taking this experience as a lesson, using that lesson to grow more into cleverness that can be use later on. The next time someone tries to trick you to get into your pants, you should just leave him already.
Believe me, when a person is horny enough, they can be very smart and will know just how to play with your mind into believing them.
Blayne, it is now time to move on as he is not worth it.
Most guys will say its all about the love and not sex. Some guys do mean it, some don't. You can't rely on that to determine anything. Maybe that is what he wants but cannot do. People have sexual urgers and sometimes the penis is stronger than the brain! Can't blame him... hell, horniness only has one cure!
There is two explanation for why he broke up.
He regretted because he feels like he is not keeping his promise and was forcing you when you're not ready. Afraid that things will turn out bladly, he'd rather end the relationship with an excuse. Deeply remorseful and sorry. decided to leave you alone. (seriously, this is the less likely scenario..or this is what he wants to trick you into believing.)
The real story, in my own opinion is, he felt unsatisfied because you weren't giving. He only wanted sex but lied in the first place to gain trust. Being an asshole and decided to break up with you. Lying because he wants to take more advantage from you since you're completely miserable and vulnerable for further attacks.
In my opinion, take his advice. I'm not saying you need to grow up in that sense but grow in a sense that by taking this experience as a lesson, using that lesson to grow more into cleverness that can be use later on. The next time someone tries to trick you to get into your pants, you should just leave him already.
Believe me, when a person is horny enough, they can be very smart and will know just how to play with your mind into believing them.
Blayne, it is now time to move on as he is not worth it.
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yeah, I'd be mad in your spot. But in terms of the relationship with him, I don't think it will make any difference. Better to move on. But, next time you run into a situation with similar aspects, your anger from *this* time might provide you with some good information for what to do *then*.
Take care!
Take care!