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Do people with a false optimism drive you nuts?

  • Thread starter Thread starter peeonme
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peeonme

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I work with a guy who always smiles, you could shoot him, he would giggle.
I consider myself to be an optimist, balanced with a grasp on reality, in short, shit stinks, don't try to dredge up something positive to say.
I am usually in a good mood, feel great and so on, I just don't feel compelled to let around me know that I am walking in sunshine.
 
reone said:
Just out of curiosity, how do you know that this person's optimism is fake? I would say that it's better for him to walk around trying to spread optimism and sunshine than pessimism and darkness. Unless he is doing this as a way to put others down, why is it so bothersome? Who knows, maybe he is doing it as a way to 'bring about' good things. It's probably more likely if he at least tries to be happy as opposed to not.

I do dislike when people are falsely pleasant, for sure, when they smile and act nice towards you when they are actually not feeling this way at all. But I don't think this is what you're describing...
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I have had him walk up to me and say that he is happy to see me smiling, I smile a lot, just not at all times. It would be a fake smile if I did this.
I can't believe that any one is a happy camper all of the time, we are human, if I see someone looking down I try to befriend them, listen to them and help them if possible, I don't tell them to "look happy".
I don't know that his optimism is fake, perhaps just the smile that he plasters on his face.
 
Beats being negative and full of self-pity all the time! But yeah all the time is unrealistic just like people who can't find anything good in their life. Having said that an "up" person is STILL easier to deal with than a down one.

"It's all good" may be an annoying expression but there are worse things.

You see pictures of people in third world countries in most appalling conditions and still they smile. Because it's the only way to survive!
 
I thought all optimists were fake. Or at least heavily deluded. That said, they don't bother me. People do what they have to do in order to survive.

Lex
 
Dejavudoo said:
Just a passing impression here, but several of your posts and threads have a tinge of bitterness or resentment.

Is it possible that you simply resent his good nature? There are happy people out there, thank God.
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You are right about some bitterness or resentment, I try not to let it leak out to profusely. If he is happy then I am happy for him, however to make remarks about another persons appearance to me is like tooting your own horn, look at me, I am happy!
 
reone said:
Do you feel the same way about pessimists?
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Short answer: yes.

Most optimists and pessimists are so to a degree that it's not readily apparent. If it IS readily apparent, then they're either spreading their glee or gloom to the world at large. And at that point, I consider what they're doing to be something of an act. As I said, neither one bothers me. I think some people feel more comfortable telling everybody how much the world sucks, and other people feel more comfortable with a plastered-on smile announcing that today is another WONDERFUL day. If that's what they need to do to feel better about themselves, I'm not going to tell them not to.

Lex
 
False people drive me nuts period. Superficiality sucks. Just be real and be you. If I can't handle it, I won't be around you.
 
I can only take so much "Mary Poppins" before I want to start poking them with a stick just to see what they're really made of.
 
I am actually a lot more optimistic than I appear to be...I hide it. I like what Diana Ross said many years ago and I had it pasted on my bathroom mirror for years...

The quote isn't exact...but close enough....

I am grateful for all of my life experiences that brought me to this moment and I wouldn't change a thing...I am especially grateful for the bad experiences because they taught me the most.

That is how I feel as well.....

Professional victims are my personal nightmare...can't stand them. The ones everything "happens to" and they have no part in it and never own anything. I'll take a 24/7 cruise with a dozen Mary Fucking Sunshines before spending 10 minutes with a professional victim.
 
therre a folk a happy out there wot a dude say out many million a folk post


ans next bit

chisty colobus discova india ans say everythang gonna be alright ans free tickets ta spanish inqustion picinc
then * couff alls fall down *

anywayway human ape speices is a only a spit old so maybe discova sumthang befor awsum human top floatin doodoo discova they awsum floatin doodoo ans all end up awsum floatin doodoo ans rest classfied

ans so on

wot nice day

thankyou

happy wall day
 
I do find myself deeply suspicious of someone who is either always glum or always happy. Yin and yang, positive and negative, there should be a bit of both.

And you shouldn't be afraid to have people see that today is only 60% happy instead of your usual sunny 100%.

Something which annoys me intensely is when I'm allowing myself to be frustrated or upset to let it work itself out of my system and someone else is incessantly, willfully and persistently trying to cheer me up. Piss off, mate, this shit-storm I'm having is necessary for me to function.

-d-
 
I especially dislike people who say things like "God is doing this for a reason," or "You're being tested," or "When God closes a door, he always opens a window."

The abuse that I have suffered in life (and it has been substantial) has come from evil people, not some omnipotent being who takes pleasure in making my life miserable. And that Being has never lifted a finger to help.
 
Would you prefer to poke him with a stick until he turns on you?
Cut him a break and stop getting distracted
 
Don't judge him for being happy. He can't help it. He's on medication. :lol:
 
blackbeltninja said:
I do find myself deeply suspicious of someone who is either always glum or always happy. Yin and yang, positive and negative, there should be a bit of both.

And you shouldn't be afraid to have people see that today is only 60% happy instead of your usual sunny 100%.

Something which annoys me intensely is when I'm allowing myself to be frustrated or upset to let it work itself out of my system and someone else is incessantly, willfully and persistently trying to cheer me up. Piss off, mate, this shit-storm I'm having is necessary for me to function.

-d-
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Well said. This sums up my feeling. I try to be upbeat and see the glass as half full, but I find Pollyannas annoying.
 
i dont mind it, unless its really ridiculously over the top and fake.
but if somebody just chooses to see the good in stuff, thats actually admirable. even if they sometimes have to "fake it until they make it".
did you guys know that the body reacts to a fake smile similarly like it does to a "real" smile? meaning, even if you are sad, if you put on a fake smile, your body will start producing "happy hormones"
 
There are plenty of people who put on a happy face because they don't believe in sharing the unhappy sides of life with those with whom they have a more casual relationship. They are in control of their emotions...maybe too in control? But we all know the person whose feelings are a secret to no one. Whatever they are feeling (and feelings are fleeting), you somehow experience, too.
I'll take the former.
 
There was a thread in Hot Topics years ago - "do you hate nice people?" The majority opinion in the thread was that we'd much rather deal with someone who is "real" than someone who is "nice". Note that these two traits were considered to be separate and distinct. A "nice" persona is not a "real" persona. The "nice" person is being fake, and is therefore untrustworthy. At least one person mentioned that he considered breaking through that "nice" persona to get to the "real" one underneath to be a positive and worthwhile thing for all involved. So, you know, if you meet someone who's happy and positive all the time, and you get them angry, or make them cry...why, then, you've done a good thing, haven't you? You've gotten them to reveal their "real" self.

Maybe we can make a holiday of it. Make A Happy Person Cry Day.

Lex
 
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