Do u think bullying is being scapegoated?

[wonderwort]

Does bullying really cause suicide or is bullying being overly scapegoated?

My personal view is that bullying doesn't directly cause suicide but it can be a contributing factor.

I've did a poll on "How comfortable were you in high school with your homosexuality?". 57% of the votes came back as "NOT AT ALL" comfortable with their homosexuality during high school. http://www.justusboys.com/forum/showthread.php?t=348189&highlight=bullying+suicide

My theory is that the adolenscent years (12--18 years) are the most vunerable years of young gay person's life. The added pressure that alot gay youth have go thru that straight youth dont have to go are

1)Struggling with their homosexuality (internally)

2)Having to cope with external homophia in all it's ugly forms.

On top of the internal and external pressures of being gay........a gay youth has the added pressure of being bullied constantly.....and all the factors work together........and leads to youth attempting or commiting suicide.

I think bullying is a contributing factor in gay youth suicide.....but I dont think that bullying causes suicide (bullycide)

Therefore I think bullying is being scapegoated.

(I do agree that with all the efforts to try to stop bullying.....and bullying is truly hurtful)

 

[fetaby]

Tell that to the young lady from Australia who killed herself as a direct result of being bullied by two coworkers, who in turn were convicted for their crimes.

As for your breakdown? Much of 1. is caused by 2.

I don't understand how a person can say they understand that bullying is harmful then turn around and say it is being used a scapegoat.

Traditionally scapegoats are innocent of the charges applied to them. I think calling bullying a scapegoat is just giving bullying yet another pass, and keeping the status quo.

The status quo being more dead kids.

I do agree that bullying isn't the only culprit in these suicides. Other factors, including the persons own mental stability and fragility, do come in to play.

However, I have to take exception to any assertion that would try to down play the ill effects of bullying.

 

[Saybrooke]

I'm not even sure what to sat about this one... There will always be bullies. It doesn't matter if they identify as gay or straight in high school. Thats just one way to target kids for being different. Bullies will always find something about someone they don't like and will continue too add on to the pressure that the victim faces. Take Phoebe Prince for example. Heterosexual girl, picked on for having red hair, and accent, and liking th wrong boy. Not targeted for being gay.

Bulling is killing teens. It's not having to hold anything in.

 

[AndrewC88]

I was horribly bullied when I was a kid and no matter how bad it got I never turned to violence or suicide. I learned that no matter how much things get bad in my life that IT WILL ALWAYS GET BETTER

 

[wonderwort]

I do agree that bullying is insidious and agree with all the efforts to try and stop it.

I hate more than anything in the world to blame the victim......but different people do cope with the same problems VERY DIFFERENTLY.

Some people have committed suicide over very ordinary events in life.

1) Not being able to get into the college of their choice.
2) Losing a job
3) Being rejected
4)being forclosed on
5) economic worries
The list can go on for infinity......

Say if a person commits suicide over losing a job. Is it safe to assume that "losing jobs causes suicide"?

Or is safer to say the person that comitted suicide over losing a job had bad coping skills.....

 

[StlKj]

No, it's not being scapegoated. While it may only be a contributing factor, it is at least one of the largest contributing factors in each of the cases we've read/heard about.

One might also present the argument that our children not being sufficiently emotionally fortified is another contributing factor. As are social networking sites and cell phones, by which bullies now can too easily work their way into families' homes and private lives in ways they never used to be able to.

Still, bullying played the largest part in their deaths; bullies don't get a free ride on this train.

 

[wonderwort]

I don't understand how a person can say they understand that bullying is harmful then turn around and say it is being used a scapegoat.


However, I have to take exception to any assertion that would try to down play the ill effects of bullying.

Im not trying to sugar coat any of the horrible effects of bullying......

all Im saying is people who believe and assert "bullycide"..........go way too far.

 

[wonderwort]

Bullying is public enemy # 1 at right now.

Other public enemy #1's in the past include

1) Illegal immagrants

2)Global warming

3) Al- queda terrorist.

4) Y2k

5)deforestation.

I think within a few years we will have a new public enemy #1.

It has happened many times in the past the current public enemy #1 during that particular time has been blown way way out of proportion(example illegal immagration and welfare recipients).......

I think bullying is blown way out of propriotion too.

 

[Taz]

^You're talking about media hype. It sure is getting a lot of coverage lately, and its because with the internet, bullying has become more pervasive than ever.

 

[healingduck]

I'm sure there are other things on top of the bullying that make them do it, but obviously it would play a big factor. Its not like people just assume the kid was bullied if he commits suicide.

 

[The_Reaper]

I don't think bullying is being scapegoated...

Saying that bullying is a scapegoat effectively neutralizes and trivializes the seriousness of it. To a degree, it sounds like you're saying 'bullying is getting a bad rap'; that bullying is necessary, which it is not.

I was bullied as a kid, as I'm sure many others on this board were, but I never seriously contemplated suicide...

However, bullying definitely causes children (teens and adults too) to consider such a course of action. I mean, if you're being assaulted mentally on a daily basis by groups of people, you're going to do whatever you can to get away from those torments.

As such, I don't think they're mutually exclusive. Bullying can lead to suicide, regardless of how much a person is bullied or not bullied.

 

[Kabluey]

^ I agree with above.
Wasn't really bullied that much at school, but only because I was bigger than most of the bullies.
Worst thing was when a pack would decide to pick on one kid (for whatever reason) and make their life hell.
Had a few cases here where big, really big high school kids were assaulting and sexually violating other students - how is that not criminal behaviour?
Nothing trivial about that.
I think the fact that cyber bullying leaves a paper trail and video evidence is only making what has happened for years more visible than before.

 

[gsdx]

Bullying has changed since I was a kid. Back then, bullying was 'teasing', or making some smaller kid hand over his lunch or milk money. It wasn't a relentless onslaught of humiliation and psychological torture. It never gave a person cause to fear for his own life. Nobody lived in constant fear.

The stuff that goes on today affects people. It changes them. It takes them to the point where death is better than having to live with it. Bullying is like cancer. It destroys the body until a bottle of pills is a more desirable option than having to live with the constant pain.

By saying that bullying is being made a scapegoat, you are condoning it, and that is just wrong.

 

[kallipolis]

The overwhelming majority of victims of bullying - of all descriptions - grow stronger, and wiser having learnt that life cannot be lived in a vacuum without experiencing the trials, and tribulations of life that they will face as part of the process of self discovery.

Two of my martial arts sparring partners were victims of bullying at school, as a result of being short, thin and very gentle boys. Their respective fathers recommended that they learn self defence techniques as a means to deter bullying.

Within three months of beginning Kung fu training classes, one of the boys stood up to the biggest bully and felled him with one blow.

The bullying stopped - immediately.

 

[wonderwort]

By saying that bullying is being made a scapegoat, you are condoning it, and that is just wrong.

Im not codoning bullying nor am I trivializing it either.......bullying has become the thirty-ton guerilla in the media and many people believe the media hype.

Bullying is the current public enemy # 1 right now.......as with many public enemies #1 in the past there is an EXTREME tendency to over-react and to blow things way out of proportion.

The over reaction and blowing things out of proportion is what Im getting at.

 

[gsdx]

Two of my martial arts sparring partners were victims of bullying at school, as a result of being short, thin and very gentle boys. Their respective fathers recommended that they learn self defence techniques as a means to deter bullying.

That would be all well and good if everyone who is bullied is also inclined to learn martial arts. For many, the martial arts scare them as much as the bullying.

Not everybody is a Daniel Larusso.

 

[kallipolis]

That would be all well and good if everyone who is bullied is also inclined to learn martial arts. For many, the martial arts scare them as much as the bullying.

Not everybody is a Daniel Larusso.

Self empowerment is the response that will address our life's challenges and enable us to create the solutions to those matters that threatens our well being, good health and happiness.

Many of the great martial arts champions began life as soft, gentle, shy boys who were obliged by their circumstances to learn to defend themselves.

The crying game merely evidences surrender to our fears, unless we take measures to resolve those matters that are destroying our well being, even our life.

There are no excuses, or reasons for not standing up to those who would deny us our right to live in freedom from fear.

 

[kallipolis]

Im not codoning bullying nor am I trivializing it either.......bullying has become the thirty-ton guerilla in the media and many people believe the media hype.

Bullying is the current public enemy # 1 right now.......as with many public enemies #1 in the past there is an EXTREME tendency to over-react and to blow things way out of proportion.

The over reaction and blowing things out of proportion is what Im getting at.

This is a matter of perception depending on where you are, in relation to bullying.

If you are being bullied then the problem appears rather overwhelming.

Resolving to over come our fears and stand up to the bullies is a matter of self empowerment that will end the bullying, and encourage us to seek our own solutions to life's challenges rather than cry over the injustices of life.

 

[wonderwort]

But I agree with the OP's assessment that in every one of these cases, there is so much more than simply bullying.

Precisely, my dear Watson!!!!

 

[gsdx]

There are no excuses, or reasons for not standing up to those who would deny us our right to live in freedom from fear.

And there are no excuses or reasons for allowing bullying to continue, either. That is denying the problem exists.

Self-empowerment is just fine for those who aren't terrified of violence. Most victims of bullies simply are not cut out for martial arts. To lay the blame on them for their own lives is ridiculous. The bullies are to blame - not the victims.

There should be zero tolerance for bullying in every school and on every school property. There isn't, and the bullying continues unabated and kids are dying because of it. 'Sticks and stones' doesn't work anymore, and bullies are little more than murderers who use words instead of guns and knives.