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Do we EVER get over our first love?

innocentbychoice

innocentbychoice

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It's been a year and 3 months since I broke up with my ex (I was with him for 4 years). I'm a relationship now with a great guy who appreciates me but sometimes I start thinking about my ex, wondering about his life and I try to find out about him. I don't want to get back with him, of that I'm sure, but I can't help thinking about him sometimes.

Today I found out he's in a relationship and it kinda hurt...I'm a sad...I don't know why, I know I shouldn't be. Is this normal?
 
I've always been good at staying in touch with my ex's when possible...

I understand the interest part -- but not the "hurt" part.

You should be happy for him and hope that he has resolved whatever issues induced you to break up with him in the first place... ..|

:):):)
 
It's normal to pine away when there's unfinished business. I'm guessing you didn't have health closure when the relationship ended. If you're looking for advice, here's mine. Stop looking him up online. If it's bit safe fir you to get closure by writing him, then seek out a dew therapy sessions to do it with a therapist. This is dragging you down and is unfair to your current boyfriend. Good luck. I wish you peace of mind.
 
^You're right Seasoned, we didn't have proper closure. He hurt me so I just broke up with him and tried staying away from him. I did, and I met my current BF. I know I shouldn't be looking for him online and for about 8 o 9 months I didn't know anything about him, but a few weeks ago I started wondering again (maybe because he wrote to me saying he saw me) and now it's becoming a habit seeing his twitter...but i'm gonna stay away.

I don't know about writing to him, he's very proud so I'm sure if I did he would misinterpret everything and be like "huh! I was after you and now you're after me, go figure" and I don't want that. I don't want him to know I still care about him (and probably always will, that's why I think we never really forget our first love).

The thing that hurt me was seeing a pic of him with his friends and a guy he was hanging out with at the time, and in the comments they were kinda making fun of an incident my current boyfriend and I had with them, it was like 6 months ago but I never saw the comments until now and that's what made me sad.

Anyways I'll just try staying away from his accounts. But back to the question, do you guys think we can really forget about our first love? Or is it normal to always care about them?
 
Nothing wrong with thinking about about past relationships as long as it doesn't turn into an obsession.
If anything it shows you really cared about that person, and that should be commended.

It's those times I tend to remind myself why a future with that person wasn't possible, and why I'm better off now.
 
i think about him once in a while. he had health problems and we just kinda stopped talking to one another.

im not even sure hes still alive as i haven't been able to contact him.
 
I don't think you can stop loving him, and don't think it's wrong to keep loving and caring for him, but you guys did break up for a reason, and obviously you decided to move on maybe sooner than you think, what if you needed time to yourself before you jumped into the next relationship? It's not fair to the recent guy you're dating if you're worrying about your ex, I mean I don't know whats the real case of you dating someone else but my 2 cents is, dating someone after a serious relationship, won't help you get over your ex. I'd say let him be and be happy for him, you can't be so selfish about it even though it's tough
 
You get over him, but you never forget.

The longer it is the more you also forget the shit that broke you up in the first place.

If you're pining, consider this - after a year he's still the same guy you left - with the same issues. In five, ten years, he may be someone else, but every reason you had to walk is still valid.
 
Thank you guys for your words.

I decided since I wrote the first post that I'm just gonna stop looking for any info of him (what I did before) and I'm happier that way...it's like he doesn't exist.
 
Good.

Much healthier this way.
 
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