We would be an example of a financially unmatched couple when we started dating. I came from extreme poverty and he just the opposite. In fact, the only reason I was able to attend the college I did was because of a full academic scholarship. At the time, I thought I had it made because everything was paid for and I had savings in the bank from working since I was 15. I overlooked one thing, however: college kids like to socialize and that costs money. So, I got a part time job to pay for that.
The next year of college, I met my bf and it was okay as long as we were still living in the dorms and just going out like a normal couple. But when we decided to rent an apartment, I looked for the least expensive one, which were usually duplexes or old apartments. He wanted to look at the new, modern, upscale ones that had things like pools and AC. Because of my job, I could actually afford a nicer apartment, but I still had the poor boy mentality. What he wanted seemed extravagant to me.
I did give in on that, however, and we got the nice place, but from there on in, I gave him a hard time about everything else. Utilities, food, anything for the apartment was 50/50. When we bought a tv, he wanted to best, I thought a cheaper one was just fine.
One day when I was at my job, he went and bought the nicest one. I was pissed off and pouted about it. He told me he would take it back. Again, I gave in and I felt I wasn't carrying my own weight. He knew it was important to me to be self supporting, even though he didn't care about what things cost and that he paid more than I did.
I really had to work at not being so stubborn about money issues.
When the day came that I was making good money, I would buy him things or things for our home and his response was always positive and one of thankfulness. He never offered to pay half either because he knew I wanted to do it. Why was it so hard for me to accept things the same way from him? Pride (not the good kind, either) is the only thing I can think of. He never reminded me of how I acted when he did the same thing in earlier days. He's always been better than me in so many ways.
Looking back, I'm glad for the ugliness of myself. It has taught me about generosity, not only in giving to others, but in allowing others to give to me, with a grateful heart. Denying someone the privilege of giving is just wrong. Of course, I'm glad things didn't remain unbalanced, even though no two people in a relationship are every 100% equal.
Don't let economic differences ruin something beautiful, like love.
