do you consider these words as pejoratative?

[toywifme]

I'm really pissed at my friend for making fun of me all day long, calling me 'fag'. I mean, once or twice is all right, but she keeps on doing it, it gets annoying and I've told her before, but she just ignores me.

So today, I finally snapped back at her and told her straight in her face that it's really insulting to me, or anyone in that matter, to be called a fag.

When I was bombarding her with my opinion, she keeps on defending herself and says that 'fag' is just a 'normal' word for 'gay'. I tried to explain it to her, but no words came out.

Since I'm in Malaysia, still quite narrow minded, the phrase 'nigger' (sorry if I offended anyone) and 'fag' are used quite often by my friends, and they find it funny. To them, it's just like the plain old phrase 'bitch'.

I guess she feels that it is okay to say it to my face because I opened up to her and told her that I was Bi, no other friends know that I am, and I dont want them to. Personally, I dont use these words, and I abhore those who use it on me.

I'm writing this thread to ask some of you guys, why do you find these word offending..I tried to explain to her in order to stand my ground, but my mind went blank.

Please shed some light on this. Thanks guys.

And before I leave, i would like to apologise if I have offended anyone without knowing.

 

[Pushover]

The phrase "That's gay" no longer bothers me because it's so widely used and the meaning has become completely twisted around. Sometimes I actually find myself beginning to say it, but I won't stoop that low.

Never been called a fag before (unless it's online, but I've been called much worse). Fag is one of those words that has lost it's original meaning, like fuck. Still, I would find it offensive if somebody called me that to my face, but I wouldn't be so pissed like it was some racial slur or extremely offensive name.

Like the N-word, it depends on what context in which the word is used to give it meaning.

 

[Scrub]

Apparently, it offends you. Your friend there should respect that enough to not call you it... or, you should look into new friends.

I agree with Jy_Star. If it offends you no explanantion should be required. Your friend should just respect the way you feel and stop calling you that.

 

[FabFairy]

The words Fag is not so much the problem because it isn't used that much in Australia tho there may be pockets here where it is. Here it refers to a cigarette more often than not. To me it is more the way it is used, said or refering to a person that creates the problem.

But it must be remembered that the origin of the word was an offensive term or abusive terms for gay or effeminate men when addressed to American males. It can also refer to an old or unpleasant woman.

When I was a kid I was told that it referred to the bundle of sticks for burning and that gays were called faggots because that is what straights wanted to do to us, "Burn us at the Stake".

So I did the only sensible thing I knew at that age and came out to everyone and drove them all mad!! Not that I was ever one to do the logical thing then. And I was always willing to go out of my way to annoy everyone with it.

Now I don't really know if it true but it did seem real enough especially when you considered the church attitude and the inquisition.

 

[wolfgang]

The word fag is not offensive. I use it all the time with my friends. I understand where you are coming from but we need to not give them the power to make the word derogatory. If it became common then it wouldn't be a slam.

 

[Memosexual87]

The words are offending when I let it offend me.

Yep!

The word fag is not offensive. I use it all the time with my friends. I understand where you are coming from but we need to not give them the power to make the word derogatory. If it became common then it wouldn't be a slam.

and Yep!

and y dont u get back at her maybe call her fat or slut or whore umm Fat Slutty Whore! ..chinckianese? I dunno something that will get her just like she gets you then she migh see how it feels and stop

 

[Swellegant]

Start calling her "cunt." I've frequently found that when people don't "get" why I'm offended by something, I turn it around on them so they can "get" how it feels to have a perjorative word used on them. "Bitch" isn't strong enough, you have to go for the worst word for a female you can find, and I have yet to meet a woman who isn't offended by "the c-word."

With men it's a little harder, because there are no perjorative words for straight men in particular... those that we use on them they frequently take as compliments. So you just have to punch them in the nuts instead

 

[prettyboysing]

It doesn't matter if we are offended by it. The point is that you are offended by it, and as your friend, she should respect that.

 

[Memosexual87]

Fat Slutty Cunting Whore!

thats gotta get her 4 sure thanx robert

 

[star-warrior]

Call her 'cunt' everytime she says 'fag'. See what happens.

 

[Great Big C]

The words are not offensive in and of themselves. Context is critical.

 

[G-Lexington]

Friends don't call each other terms that they don't like to be called. OK, once in a while, you might pull out a word in jest, but that's it. I'd suggest what other people suggested - calling her a "whore" or "cunt" or whatever gets under her skin the most. But I can next-to-guarantee that she'll be horribly offended by this, and will utterly miss the point. "But you ARE a fag! I'm not a whore at all! How could you hurt me like this?"

You've explained you don't like being called that word, and she says that's your problem. Actually, your real problem might be your choice of friends.

Lex

 

[RationalLunacy]

Call her a "Goddamned big-titted whore-hopping cunt-licking motherfucking bitch" and see how she likes it.

 

[JR]

"If 'fag' is just an ordinary word that doesn't mean anything, you shouldn't have any problem finding a kinder word to describe how you feel about a friend. And to help you, I am going to refer to you as my cunty-hag until you learn that words aren't just words, you cunty-hag!"

 

[Phillby]

How about the obvious Fag Hag as a retort?

 

[LarsVenice]

I'd go for calling her "skanky bitch ho" and see how she feels.

 

[Endlight]

Apparently, it offends you. Your friend there should respect that enough to not call you it... or, you should look into new friends.

I agree entirely with Jy-Start. If you were a skinny little runt and she called you a squirrel and you disliked that, she would be in the wrong.

The very idea that you are offended should be enough for her to stop. Why should you have to do a thesis on the word?

I knew a bitch once who also required some proclamation from the United Nation to disproved her actions.....I got rid of her as a friend.

Too much stress in the world to have to justify your feelings to a friend and still keep them around.

 

[construct]

why do you find these word offending

They are offending because they are offensive. They are used for no other reason than to demean, degrade, insult, humiliate, and shame.

If "because I said so" isn't good enough for her on this one, then she's not a friend even if both of you think she is.

 

[rareboy]

I'd just tell her to stop and if she can't then she won't mind if I don't call her my friend anymore.

 

[herenthere]

Tell your friend that you would like to talk to her.
Make her acknowledge your request.
Give her the benifit of the doubt...that she does not realize what she is doing.

Then just tell her how you feel, and that her comments are starting to be offensive and irritating...

If she still does not get it...I agree with rareboy...she is no friend...