Do you date within your socio-economic bracket?

[backseatboy]

Do you date within or outside your socio-economic bracket? Are there any pros and cons you've noticed?

Sooooo. I am very interested in your responses. I have only been on the dating scene for 6 months and I've noticed: if my date makes a-lot more (or less) money that I do we never work out. I do admit that there are ALOT of other reasons my dates didn't work out BUT this is a strong trend that I feel is worth questioning.

 

[nautiboyjeff]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

Marry up, it's always easier.

 

[Horschallen]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

It does not bother me too much, except I do occassionally find it frustrating or embarrassing when one does not match my level of class (behavior) in public places, as well as private. That goes for either upper or lower classes.

 

[alley]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

God...I would never get to go out...no one is as poor as me.

 

[youngnihilist]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

Seeing how it would be rare to find a young, out guy from my background then, no , who cares

 

[Caeth]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

I'm a poor grad student so the "economic" part doesn't fit hehe but school/education does cross my mind when considering a guy. I'm also planning to go to medical school so the "economic" part isn't going to be low forever. It doesn't rule out a guy but if I meet someone who's 20, not in school, and is planning to be an artist then I'm going to be very hesitant. I'd need to find out more and be sure that there's something smart/passionate/motivated behind that person.

 

[hanshansen]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

When I consider the possibilities with someone, I think a lot about the question, 'how would our lifestyles mesh', and that includes the question, 'how would we fit in each other's circle of friends'.

Still not sure how much the answer to those questions matters to me (I'm mulling over this in relation to someone I'm getting to know at the minute).

I have an uncle who married a girl who was 15 years younger than him, non-European, uneducated, and poor. It didn't last and he lost shitloads of money in the divorce. That made a very big impression on me.

I think the main thing is that both of you feel equal (for whatever reason, doesn't mean you need to be clones), there's some things you enjoy doing together, and you don't have any hangups about doing the other stuff you enjoy doing separately.

That principle has worked for me with friends from different walks of life. I mean, I have gotten to know yuppies with money to burn, a nanny, people with Ivy League PhDs, people with little more than on-the-job training. In a lot of these cases my initial reaction has been 'what on earth have I got in common with this person' and it turns out we have a lot to talk about and they're really interesting people. I guess what they have in common is that they're genuine and interested in the world and people around them and have a basic positive attitude towards life.

Coming back to my uncle: dating isn't deciding to marry. If you restrict yourself to dating people in your demographic, you make things simpler for yourself, but also more boring.

 

[drhladnjak]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

I'm not rich or anything, but I'm better off financially than most guys my age because I'm a saver and have an established career. It can be hard to meet other guys in the similar situation (i.e., single professionals) because many are already coupled and almost all of them don't have a ton of free time.

In particular, guys I meet out at bars tend to make less money and not be in careers because many of them are students or jobs with irregular hours. It's harder for me to connect with guys who are in a different stage of their life. Consequently, I often date guys 5-10 years older than me, but that has its own set of issues.

At this point, I've accepted that I'll just be the one making more money and that that may limit what we can do together (travel, living accommodations, etc.).

 

[alley]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

I was doing the yuppie thing for about fifteen years and my ex was up and coming in her career as well--it really is hard to keep a relationship going if both people are in demanding and stressful occupations---it worked out better when one of us stepped back and shouldered some of the responsiblities at home and was there for the "breadwinner" when they needed it. It worked out till we grew apart and split.

 

[ANDORYUU]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

Would love to date a rich guy, I just wouldn't be able to afford to go out with him.

But if he truly like you it wouldn't matter if you had money or not and vice versa.

 

[Cedric]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

I was born into a rich family, but my life has been all about downward economic mobility. As of last year, I was still living in an apartment that was infested with cockroaches and rodents. I've now upgraded somewhat, but I still live in a 1-bedroom apartment that is significantly less glamorous than the lifestyle I grew up with. On the other hand, I've charted a course for myself that--in terms of cultural capital (in the way of formal education)--is higher than what my parents have been able to attain themselves even if I have significantly less money. Pretty much all of the people I have the opportunity to come in contact with are other modest-income people who, like me, have way too much formal education.... So, yes, I tend to date within my socio-economic bracket because I never meet anyone outside of it.

 

[chimere]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

I was born into a rich family, but my life has been all about downward economic mobility. As of last year, I was still living in an apartment that was infested with cockroaches and rodents. I've now upgraded somewhat, but I still live in a 1-bedroom apartment that is significantly less glamorous than the lifestyle I grew up with. On the other hand, I've charted a course for myself that--in terms of cultural capital (in the way of formal education)--is higher than what my parents have been able to attain themselves even if I have significantly less money. Pretty much all of the people I have the opportunity to come in contact with are other modest-income people who, like me, have way too much formal education.... So, yes, I tend to date within my socio-economic bracket because I never meet anyone outside of it.

if economic capital < cultural capital

they call that "keeping up with the joneses"

the opposite is true when someone wins the lottery

 

[Cedric]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

if economic capital < cultural capital

they call that "keeping up with the joneses"

the opposite is true when someone wins the lottery

Hi chimere,

I've read your post over and over several times, but I'm having difficulty discerning your meaning. You could (or maybe someone else who understands this post) explain? Thanks!

 

[thewiz]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

I have never considered the socio-economics when dating someone. Maybe because I grew up in a blue collar family and on "the wrong side of the tracks" so to speak....I found that there are often more good people there than in the "rich" area.

I still remember doing a fund raising campaign once and contacting what the community thought were the "rich" people. One person, a banker, gave a check but said the key to fund raising was to find those people you didn't think were rich because they probably were; those that everyone thinks are rich usually are comfortable but not rich!

I go for the face, the personality, whether the person can converse and carry a conversation. I like a guy who has a smile, who likes to touch, and who I would want to spend time with. Money is secondary. Someday he may be rich and I may be poor or vice versa.

 

[backseatboy]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

Hell no! What can I do with someone in my economic bracket, stare at our bills together? I need a brotha wit' some coins.

i like how you think

It does not bother me too much, except I do occassionally find it frustrating or embarrassing when one does not match my level of class (behavior) in public places, as well as private. That goes for either upper or lower classes.

This is what I was hinting at but didn't want to say in the OP. Behavior and class are disturbingly related..

I'm a poor grad student so the "economic" part doesn't fit hehe but school/education does cross my mind when considering a guy. I'm also planning to go to medical school so the "economic" part isn't going to be low forever. It doesn't rule out a guy but if I meet someone who's 20, not in school, and is planning to be an artist then I'm going to be very hesitant. I'd need to find out more and be sure that there's something smart/passionate/motivated behind that person.

I forgot to mention that I am a college student myself (praying for grad school). Yeah, I can completely see myself in your shoes in the near future.

... I think the main thing is that both of you feel equal (for whatever reason, doesn't mean you need to be clones), there's some things you enjoy doing together, and you don't have any hangups about doing the other stuff you enjoy doing separately.

That principle has worked for me with friends from different walks of life. I mean, I have gotten to know yuppies with money to burn, a nanny, people with Ivy League PhDs, people with little more than on-the-job training. In a lot of these cases my initial reaction has been 'what on earth have I got in common with this person' and it turns out we have a lot to talk about and they're really interesting people. I guess what they have in common is that they're genuine and interested in the world and people around them and have a basic positive attitude towards life.

Coming back to my uncle: dating isn't deciding to marry. If you restrict yourself to dating people in your demographic, you make things simpler for yourself, but also more boring.

touché



I apologize for leaving this thread hanging!
[Broke Straight Boys]

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

Socio-economic brackets might have meant something before the dot-coms blew up, the stock market crashed, and real estate went down the shitter. Now people with advanced degrees are unemployed and everyone's lies about their "fronted" wealth are being exposed.

It's more important for me to be with someone I feel comfortable with, can respect, and who is capable of putting some kind of a sexual thrill thing on me.

Financially, I'm very comfortable and building wealth at a very nice clip. But I don't discuss it with new date-mates because it's, literally and figuratively, my own business.

But if things work out (later), well, what's mine is his.

 

[Luka]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

I've really never talked about money with guys ive gone on dates with...money doesnt matter to me...not that i would take in a jobless bum.

 

[ontheroad]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

I'm not rich or anything, but I'm better off financially than most guys my age because I'm a saver and have an established career.

That's exactly what I am doin. I just got out of college, trying to save up.

 

[EwanSF]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

I don't know any middle-class people. Most of the people on the scene are more or less as poor as I am, so aye, probobly.

 

[hummer7979]

Re: Do you date within your socio-economic bracket

For me, what it comes down to is, anything that is significantly different between us that leaves one of us feeling socially inferior to the other is something that will make a relationship or dating difficult. And qualities like income and education are examples of such things. Of course, just because something may be difficult doesn't mean it won't work, so I keep an open mind.