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do you ever get the feeling that....

tommyharley said:
so what got me down is the feeling of just wanting to be seen and not heard, like, oh he can be here, thats fine, but dont say anything that is to challenging for you. but i'll get over it.
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ah, that DOES suck as an impression of who you are. it's kinda sad really, people do see one feature or decide based on a 5-second size up that you're such and such.

we here on JUB are much sharper i think. many of us know you're the complete opposite of that first impression. hell, i remember reading maybe 3 or 4 posts of yours and i already figured you had smarts.

it's quite frustrating, but that's how it is sometimes. If that's all they can see about you, they probably aren't worth your time...or intelligence :D
 
I dint exactly understand what the deal is either..are you worried people think you are stupid or are you worried that people think you are over muscular?
 
well, "stupid" isn't an impression that I have gotten from your posts!

the other parts....:twisted:
 
well then to answer that question I am not worried at all what first impression I give...if I want someone to like me they should know me first and first impression doesnt make up for that...if I just want a fuck thats when the first impression is going to be important
 
I do shit loads more that makes me me, like other people, all im saying is these other things get lost and are never taken into account.
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I'm not sure.......

You would always have me when you say "I'm a fireman."

Firemen are not stupid. They must have incredible intuitive and motor co-ordination skills. They have to have nerves and guts of steel. They may not have studied differential calculus or Nietzsche, but I sure as fuck wouldn't want to be relying on an economist or a lawyer to save my life in a fire.
 
tommyharley said:
I actually felt some of you may have clocked on to what she said to me. buts that only because i feel some of you, if people in my life do it, would have done it also.

something along the lines of a 'stupid muscle guy you'd fuck'. Ok before everyone tells me to get new friends i should say everyone in the group said this girls first impression was 'bitch'.
so yes it was said in an honest but jokin' way. but it just made me think about how i act with new people and i suppose from the lifestyle i have and the jobs i used to do and the way i look, i guess it has some truth in it.
i mean its even happened on here, i said somthing in a thread and a guy then replied in the thread i had inspired his new signature, which was about stupid people not getting sarcasm.

so what got me down is the feeling of just wanting to be seen and not heard, like, oh he can be here, thats fine, but dont say anything that is to challenging for you. but i'll get over it.
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hey Tommy, my first impression of you was, wow what a hot guy.
and your posts were wow very friendly and intelligent.

Nah .. no muscle guys are stupid, they are just eye candy.;)
 
rareboy said:
I'm not sure.......

You would always have me when you say "I'm a fireman."

Firemen are not stupid. They must have incredible intuitive and motor co-ordination skills. They have to have nerves and guts of steel. They may not have studied differential calculus or Nietzsche, but I sure as fuck wouldn't want to be relying on an economist or a lawyer to save my life in a fire.
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I have to piggy-back off of what rareboy says here. When I first saw you on here, I immediately was struck by how incredibly sexy you are. Then I found you were a fireman, which in my mind automatically registers as "hero." If those were the only two things I ever knew about you, I would be content. You're a gorgeous, heroic man.

But that's not all I know about you on here. As others have posted, you're sensitive, funny, thoughtful--you seem like a stand up guy. You seem to be someone who any man would be lucky to have as a sexual connection, but even luckier to have as a friend or partner.

And your "friend" who said such a cruel and tactless thing? She totally hates it that she wants you and you're not into her.

:kiss:
 
Oh yes, I know the feeling. However, I don't get the muscle guy judgment. Only two things are said about me physically . One, that I have the longest eyelashes anyone has ever seen (and its a damn curse I tell you), and two, I have very very blue eyes. I am proud of my eyes, but every time I get these "compliments" I always feel compared to women. Women mention my eyelashes because they want them, and the same for my eye color. Never have I been complimented on anything physical or material, not even on my clothes, from a guy. And never from anyone have I been complimented on my other physical attributes, which I don't think they're that bad.

But usually people think, oh, that kid must be a nerd because of the classes he takes/the grades he gets. First of all, the "nerd" stereotype is something I don't even come close to fitting, but because its what they expect, people come up with excuses. "Well he doesn't have glasses and stick pencils behind his ear, but that's not absolutely necessary". I know that I am stereotyping to say that I don't look like a nerd, but seriously, I don't. Second, it drives me NUTS because I'd much rather be told I'm a sweet guy than told that I am smart. Who cares that I'm smart! What about the fact that I used this knowledge to help you with that physics problem you were struggling with. Its never "Thanks Tyler, I really appreciate your help", its "You're like a robot with numbers!". WTF?

I guess its just that we'd really like to be taken as a whole when being judged, but you can't expect that. I mean, I would LOVE for someone to tell me they thought I was good looking (or even hot [even though I don't like my chin]), but I'm never really surprised when it doesn't happen. It's just one of those things.
 
Tommy if I didn't know you and saw you at some club in Weho all I would do is just look at you and think damn he's hot, but he would never give me the time of day however I do know something of you so if you were at some Club in Weho I could walk up and say Tommy Harley?


Most people who say guys like you are just a stupid fuck are down on themselves and need a reason to feel good about themselves and you my dear are are more then that
 
silversmith1213 said:
Oh yes, I know the feeling. However, I don't get the muscle guy judgment. Only two things are said about me physically . One, that I have the longest eyelashes anyone has ever seen (and its a damn curse I tell you), and two, I have very very blue eyes. I am proud of my eyes, but every time I get these "compliments" I always feel compared to women. Women mention my eyelashes because they want them, and the same for my eye color. Never have I been complimented on anything physical or material, not even on my clothes, from a guy. And never from anyone have I been complimented on my other physical attributes, which I don't think they're that bad.

But usually people think, oh, that kid must be a nerd because of the classes he takes/the grades he gets. First of all, the "nerd" stereotype is something I don't even come close to fitting, but because its what they expect, people come up with excuses. "Well he doesn't have glasses and stick pencils behind his ear, but that's not absolutely necessary". I know that I am stereotyping to say that I don't look like a nerd, but seriously, I don't. Second, it drives me NUTS because I'd much rather be told I'm a sweet guy than told that I am smart. Who cares that I'm smart! What about the fact that I used this knowledge to help you with that physics problem you were struggling with. Its never "Thanks Tyler, I really appreciate your help", its "You're like a robot with numbers!". WTF?

I guess its just that we'd really like to be taken as a whole when being judged, but you can't expect that. I mean, I would LOVE for someone to tell me they thought I was good looking (or even hot [even though I don't like my chin]), but I'm never really surprised when it doesn't happen. It's just one of those things.
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It must be really frustrating.
 
First impressions are about the external: what we see with our eyes, hear with our ears, etc. Whether we like it or not and whether it is intentional or not, we all project an image. The image may or may not be accurate. That is why you move on to get to know someone better, to get to know their heart.

After all, Tommy, how would anyone know from first impressions that inside the body of a stud beats the heart of Mother Teresa?

:D
 
I feel that way all the time. Nobody ever sees past my sarcasm and pessimism. I can't help it, it's my natural personality to reflect on the negative. I DO have a heart, but few take the time to get to know me that much.

With that being said, I'll never change. I don't have to change to meet the expectations of others.
 
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