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do you ever stop taking rejection personally?

M

MartyO

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Nope. I get to attached to the guy and end up getting creepy especially to straight guys.
 
If you don't invest too much in a guy...

Maybe he stops messaging, etc because he thinks YOU are NOT interested in HIM!!!

Maybe you've got TOO MUCH of that New Yorker style bravado thing going on for your own good???

:):):)
 
I believe you have either have to stop or become depressive ;)

And once I stopped caring, it got MUCH easier to reject other guys, too. I am still nice about it, but I don't feel bad any more :)
 
^Personally, I think that you're a really great guy... ..|

It has been a LONG time since I've been single, and I remember it as a FUN time -- and SURE, I got rejected every now and then -- no big deal, EVERYONE has their own preferences -- don't let it get you down... (*8*)

:):):)
 
One day I'll be like you, Corny. But, I just can't stop feeling rejected. Even with a platonic friendship, it seems like all that time and energy I spent on this guy and his problems...So far I don't stop taking rejection personally, but maybe I will in the future.
 
Well, not to be all BDSM here, but isn't taking everything about it personally kind of the point? I mean, the whole thing with relationships is supposed to be emotional. Not taking it personally would mean not caring, and if you're not caring, why are you even trying for it to begin with? You SHOULD be taking it personally. It's effin PERSONAL :D

That said, you shouldn't be taking as an insult. People are different, and like different things. Nothing wrong with that, and nothing insulting about you not being somebody's type. You shouldn't feel insulted by it.
 
AlmondMilk said:
One day I'll be like you, Corny. But, I just can't stop feeling rejected. Even with a platonic friendship, it seems like all that time and energy I spent on this guy and his problems...
Click to expand...

Don't INVEST in people. This will only lead to disappointment. Share your time with them, gift them your company.
 
Too add to what Corny said, it isn't just not investing in people but rather lowering your expectations of others. When I stopped being OCD over everything, a guy basically fell into my lap and I am enjoying him as a BF.

Loki, you call yourself a "cynical asshole" yet you made this topic? There is a disconnect in logic there. A real cynic would ask "why is this person with me?" rather than "why did this person leave me?". I don't mean that as a slight to you (I actually think you are a nice guy) but it is something to pontificate over if philosophy is something you fancy.
 
I usually have the same reaction as the OP but I wouldn't say doing that is "taking it personally" because at the end of the day I really don't give a damn lol.

I think thought that this is because I've realized that for every 4 rejections I'll get 1 guy who's interested. So there is *always* someone else.
 
I have had 13 dates off the net when I was younger, all ended up in radio silence almost immediatley after. I hate how cheaply guys treat eachother sometimes. Anyway I have the following advice. Want a persons company, don't end up "needing" a persons company. It took me long enough to learn that lesson!

If I end up in a relationship, great if not i've got some great friends who make me happy enough.
 
Often the reason for ignoring you IS personal, but just as often, the reason is that the guy is flakey, fickle or, pardon my language, just doesn't have his shit together or doesn't know what he wants.

I have been hurt and annoyed by guys' behavior a lot over the years but want to know something? I don't WANT to stop caring. I don't want to desensitize myself to the highs and lows of dating and falling in love. I have high expectations of myself and cannot imagine having low expectations of others. I tend not to like people who don't take important things seriously and don't think I have ever clicked with someone who is nonchalant about his career, ambitions/aspirations/goals or his personal relationships - romantic and platonic.

A guy who is serious about getting to know you won't ignore you. Not only is it incredibly rude to just ignore someone, but doing so is a disservice to himself. He'll never know what he's missing unless he makes an effort himself, and you should not compromise on that. Getting to know someone is not a one-way street; it must be mutual.

If you liked him, ask him out again and if he doesn't get back to you, follow up once. If, at that point, there's still radio silence after a few days, just delete his number from your phone. He's not worth it.
 
Bottom line? Guys want to get laid and will say or do anything to make that happen. The problem with online meeting is that there can be time for emotional involvement before any face to face. In the old days you net a guy at a bar and any physical attraction came before any emotional attachment. I think the online way of doing things makes it much more difficult even with photos and skype. It still takes a meeting to get the whole package. The old way there were instant write-offs, now, based a lot on what I read here there can be days and even weeks of thinking someone met Mr Right only to be dashed after the actual meeting. No hopes until a couple of dates, please. I wouldn't advise any type of mail order spouses.
 
Why would you want someone who isn't interested in you? I've known a few medium-term couples whose relationships were ambivalent at best. They had not been intimate in years, yet for some reason they persisted in the "relationship." They got involved because they were lonely and couldn't seem to get out when things weren't working. If someone isn't interested in me, it's better to know sooner rather than later.

I agree with Seasoned that online dating is fraught with problems. I think it's because it's all about immediate reactions to photographs or some idealized vision of perfection that no one can achieve. When I think about the people I've been most attracted to over the years, it's always guys that I've known for months but were not attracted to initially. One day, six months or so later, I wake up and think, "Oh, he is kinda sexy." With online dating, you never have time to get to that point.
 
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