Do you fear getting rejected?

[spooger]

I don't put myself out there enough to have an answer.

i was struggling for a way to express this ... so i'll just agree with you...

since my partner of 10 years died, i've not made the time to re-enter the man - race, so ... i really have no fear of rejection....

yet

 

[ibill1]

^

I agree. I lost my partner of 33 yrs. and after having someone loving me for that long, rejection would mean absolutely nothing to me, not that I've been looking. I doubt I'll find someone else, but who knows, if it happens, it happens.

 

[jaybuoy]

I just got rejected lol, dont bother me fuck him!

It angers me more than scares me!

 

[Alpha1851]

Girls = Easy
Guys = Scary
Rejection = Terrifying

IMO

Too bad it's not reversed.

I think it can be reversed. Maybe women are interested in you b/c you exude self confidence and have a carefree attitude around them. Probably b/c you aren't interested in dating them, so you feel free to just be yourself. There's no need to impress them so to speak. Around guys, you're probably a bit more tongue tied b/c you're afraid of fucking it all up. Perhaps you can translate your attitude around females to your attitude around males.

Then again, you have the whole closeted issue going on, and it can't be easy finding men while hiding in there.

To the OP, no I'm not afraid of rejection. I have other fears, such as death, but rejection isn't one of them. Not sure why.

 

[dpnice]

This really is no longer a problem I have to experience as my days of man-hunting are long behind me.

In my cruising days it wasn't really a factor that concerned me as I never put myself in a situation where I would be rejected. It is extremely simple to see if someone is not interested in your approach. I tended always to await that they made the first step in showing that I wouldn't be turned away.

I really was a timid young hunter and a considerate one as I grew older.

 

[giorgiobaby]

don't worry about it, if it happens...oh well. Didn't happen last night!

 

[GL]

To the OP, no I'm not afraid of rejection. I have other fears, such as death, but rejection isn't one of them. Not sure why.

right now i fear unemployment more than anything else...

In my cruising days it wasn't really a factor that concerned me as I never put myself in a situation where I would be rejected. It is extremely simple to see if someone is not interested in your approach. I tended always to await that they made the first step in showing that I wouldn't be turned away.

but what if no one approaches you to make that first step!

there's the rub.

 

[dpnice]

..........................but what if no one approaches you to make that first step!
....................

I do sympathise but wonder if perhaps the problem is that you don't recognise those signs that someone is interested in you.

What is true is that if you take your courage by the horns and throw yourself into the fray you will finally be surprised to find yourself getting off with someone.

But that takes the force of character that most of us don't have. There are those people for whom rejection is a daily occurance but due to the force of their character they never give up and eventually succeed.

 

[belamy]

No, I fear being abandoned, specially by people who wouldn't think they are doing it or doing anything wrong; that's why I don't care about establishing any sort of relationship with people anymore.
I'm sick with friends that end up becoming acquaintances and finally just yellowy memories.

It also makes me sick when my own family make comments of me that would make sense in a stranger, but not in people who have known me for over thirty years. However, I owe them too much (almost everything) not to respect and love them... to a certain degree of deep filial piety more than straightforward inconditional love.

 

[lawrenceal]

Yes i do fear rejection. And i also fear of a broken heart as well as a failed/ non-monogamous relationship.

No, I fear being abandoned, specially by people who wouldn't think they are doing it or doing anything wrong; that's why I don't care about establishing any sort of relationship with people anymore.
I'm sick with friends that end up becoming acquaintances and finally just yellowy memories.

It also makes me sick when my own family make comments of me that would make sense in a stranger, but not in people who have known me for over thirty years. However, I owe them too much (almost everything) not to respect and love them... to a certain degree of deep filial piety more than straightforward inconditional love.

I feel the same way.

Oh--I know exactly what you mean.
I'll be your friend.

I can be your freind too

 

[GL]

I do sympathise but wonder if perhaps the problem is that you don't recognise those signs that someone is interested in you.

that is entirely possible. i tend to be rather obtuse about such things and am only aware when someone else points it out to me.

i've noticed that the women who hit on me are pretty blatant. they really make it obvious. guys on the other hand, well i guess i just don't see it. maybe they're too subtle and i'm to thick to see it.

What is true is that if you take your courage by the horns and throw yourself into the fray you will finally be surprised to find yourself getting off with someone.

But that takes the force of character that most of us don't have. There are those people for whom rejection is a daily occurance but due to the force of their character they never give up and eventually succeed.

the thing is i can honestly tell you i have tried but i keep coming up short. its like the old saying goes, you have to kiss a lot of frogs. but it sucks. its a numbers game more than anything else and always being on the losing end just isn't fun. its disheartening most of the time.

 

[MidnightPrism]

Sometimes I think I fear not being rejected. I wouldn't know what to do if someone actually accepted my advances.

 

[Ekim23]

I dont fear it...
I try and then I see what happens...

I m not that worried bout it

 

[giorgiobaby]

I can tell you for sure GL, if we met....you would know I was interested. You wouldn't have to worry about that

 

[BabiGayPimp]

In truth, the only time I'm devastated by rejection is when I have invested something emotionally in the man prior to making my move. It happened a couple of times. Now I am much more cautious, except when I am not...

 

[Garawr]

I'm more worried about having to reject people honestly. I always feel terrible about it and I have to do it often. :|

 

[ronboy]

Do I fear rejection? No...

Do I deal with it well? No...

Have I experienced it many times? Yes...

 

[Red Storm]

i dont take it personally, has it or does it happen to me? from time to time. you just move on. life gets easier that way.

I have seen people that dont deal well with it. ( rejection)

 

[NineOfClubs]

Sometimes I think I fear not being rejected. I wouldn't know what to do if someone actually accepted my advances.

OMG.

I was just going to post on this subject.

Years ago there was a self-help best seller called Overcoming Your Fear of Success, or some such.

It postulated that the thing holding many people back, preventing them from getting what they wanted, was the fear that they would get it all, and their world would change. Therefore, these types sabotage any hope of succeeding in life.

Anyway. So, yes. I think a lot of gay men have a fear of being accepted.....

 

[maxpowr9]

I used to fear it alot then I stopped thinking with my big head when I get horny. It leads to alot more interesting situations like makeout sessions in the bathroom and cuddling with strangers in their bed. As long as the guy isn't a total douche bag, most will give you a chance to prove yourself.