There is a lot of variance in what people consider forgiveness. Some count ignoring an offense and not dwelling on it is forgiveness. Others require that the offended party wipe the slate clean, and regard the offender as innocent with no reduction in status or regard.
Then there are institutional distinctions. Modern activists argue that criminals should have expunged records so that they are no longer stigmatized as convicted criminals, after they serve their sentences and make whatever restitution the court required. Traditionally, they have been given their liberty but remain with records. It's not unlike someone who broke up a marriage by adultery. He or she may marry the lover or not, but in that circle of people, will bear a stigma forever for some.
I tend to forgive if the offending party asks forgiveness and indicates a change. If the person just asks for forgiveness but remains an outlaw, or antisocial, or whatever, not so much. For louts on the road, or cheats who put themselves above the rest of the rule abiding population, no. I'm all for thinning the herd. The longer I live, the more I see a decay that is not generational, but cultural.
In a similar vein, I don't think I believe in the much-mentioned "unconditional love" in humans, and absolutely not in animals. It's an ideal that is imputed, but not true. It's well and good to say "I'll always love my child," but I've seen plenty of evidence that when relationships are broken because of cruelty, abuse, crime, selfishness, adultery, and a zillion other things, people DO stop loving another, including their spawn.
The same is true for those imputing such a virtue to animals, especially pets. But animals that have been treated badly certainly do not love unconditionally, nor should they. It's not their religion, not their ethos, and certainly not their instinct. Animals, like people are resiliant. They are able to withstand scrapes witth one another and with humans and return to normality, just as siblings do. Dogs in a pack will have fairly fierce fights, but then return to normalcy after. That natural.
I guess at my age I don't believe we have to feel like failures for not accepting everyone and everything. If you have irreconcilable differences with your parent, your sibling, your mate, your neighbor, your co-worker, or your dog, you should be able to walk away and move on. That may mean forgiving, or just leaving it behind if not forgiving. I have a brother and a nephew and a couple of in-laws that I just don't feel connected to with their values and lives. I don't feel like I've lost anything. I'm polite to them, as generous in holidays as I am with those I do care about, and I don't work to harm them, but if they died tomorrow, it wouldn't matter an iota.
For many reasons, I think we are afraid to admit that in our era. We're all supposed to be closer to live-and-let-live than live-and-let-die. I'm increasingly ok with the dying part. People reap consequences. Nature takes care of it mostly. Society doesn't have to do that much.
