Do you like Boys or Girls?

[bowtiebubba]

I sell cars for a living and right now we are having a huge "TRY YOUR KEY AND WIN THIS TRUCK" sale right now. We have a group of guys from all around the U.S. that help us sell cars during the sale, and the "closer" guy, which he seemed to be pretty cool at first, called me in the office this morning. He said, "Now don't get offended, but do you like boys or girls?" "Several of the guys here think you are gay and they asked me to ask you."

Well I was like a deer in headlights and of course I said "I like girls"....what was I going to say? "I like boys and sucking dick!"

Since when does sexual orientation have anything to do with selling fucking cars?!?! It is none of their fucking business anyway!!! It actually pissed me off that he even asked me! I also really don't know how they would think I am gay since I am 100% straight acting and not flamboyant at all...I guess it was that my office is always neat and clean and their offices are fucking pig pins so they automatically think I am gay! I can't think of any other reason.

He even said, "You can answer to me truthfully and I won't be mad." That comment was very offensive to me. Like me being gay would somehow make him mad and he had to reassure me he would not get mad.

Later he apologizes to me and says, "Another reason I asked you if you were gay was I was trying to get you the hookup" He said he met a girl last night at a local bar and he wanted to know if I wanted to hookup with her.

All I can say is I need to move out of "Homophobiaville" and move to a more accepting city so I can come out and live my fucking life already. I am so tired of hiding for the fear of retaliation, ridicule, or rejuction from everyone. It would be interesting to see how everyone around me would react to me being gay and see who is still my true friends and family members.

This experience actually ruined my day today and at my last job they found out I was gay and it was so akward, I ended up quiting my job and found another one where nobody knew me.

Has this ever happened to anyone else? Please share your story.

-BB

 

[bowtiebubba]

It is a corporate B-P-G dealership...but the guy that asked me if I was gay does not work for my company. He is just really good friends with my sales manager and he works for the company that helps us with these sales we do...so there is not much my general manager can do. I just felt like I needed to let out some steam and talk to my fellow JUB members about it.

 

[Alpha1851]

I would've come back w/, "Really, that's funny b/c the guys and I were talking about your hair and they wanted me to ask you if you're wearing a hair piece." Or, "the guys said they saw your wife out w/ another man and they were asking me if you all had an open relationship or something. They seem to gossip a lot don't they." Personally, I like to ruffle my opponent, to shake them up, get them off balance, deflect, etc.

I hate it when someone asks me an inappropriate question. I usually go w/ one of the classic responses in Emily's Rule Book of Etiquette which is, "why do you ask?" That might work in your situation as well. I mean, what's he gonna say--admit that he's a homophobe? That he's concerned about your dating life? That he thinks you're hot?

Sorry that happened to you! It's a rude question. Maybe you should've asked about his salary, or a recent divorce, or any other event that he may feel is private.

 

[hotdog1846]

You're in Texas?

I was driving through the Texas Panhandle last week, and stopped for gas in one of the little dusty windblown towns along US Highway 287. A young gal, probably in high school, drove up with "If you can read this, you're gay!" on her car windows in lipstick (or something similar in color).

I've never seen anything like that before in my life. I've seen plenty of homophobia from religious conservatives in the political arena, but never anything so personal, public and blatant from an ordinary villager.

Quite different from Dallas, where I'd been for several days, where I saw lots of HRC and Pride stickers on cars.

Needless to say, I didn't stay in that little dusty windblown town for lunch. They obviously don't have any use for me, so I don't have any use for them.

Any chance you can move to Dallas, Austin, San Antonio or Houston? You're likely to run into homophobia wherever you go, but at least you could find a supportive community in those cities.

 

[bowtiebubba]

Shoulda said: "Neither. I like men."

LOL! Yes I do!

I really wish I could have told him the truth, but I realized later that if I had told him I was gay, he would have ran and told all the other salesman and then I would be uncomfortable and probably become even more of an outsider. I will tell everyone when I am good and ready...until then...let them speculate all they want.

 

[bowtiebubba]

You're in Texas?

I was driving through the Texas Panhandle last week, and stopped for gas in one of the little dusty windblown towns along US Highway 287. A young gal, probably in high school, drove up with "If you can read this, you're gay!" on her car windows in lipstick (or something similar in color).

I've never seen anything like that before in my life. I've seen plenty of homophobia from religious conservatives in the political arena, but never anything so personal, public and blatant from an ordinary villager.

Quite different from Dallas, where I'd been for several days, where I saw lots of HRC and Pride stickers on cars.

Needless to say, I didn't stay in that little dusty windblown town for lunch. They obviously don't have any use for me, so I don't have any use for them.

Any chance you can move to Dallas, Austin, San Antonio or Houston? You're likely to run into homophobia wherever you go, but at least you could find a supportive community in those cities.

I am trying to move to San Antonio as soon as I can because my Aunt lives there and she said I can live with her until I get on my feet. BTW...I have speculated for years that my Aunt is also gay since almost all of her friends are, and if she is, I hope to speak to her when I move up there and maybe we can support each other.

 

[GL]

LOL! Yes I do!

I really wish I could have told him the truth, but I realized later that if I had told him I was gay, he would have ran and told all the other salesman and then I would be uncomfortable and probably become even more of an outsider. I will tell everyone when I am good and ready...until then...let them speculate all they want.

first and foremost it was grossly inappropriate of anyone to pry into your personal business by asking such a question. not having been to goliad but guessing its pretty much like all the other small towns here in texas, being honest could get you into all sorts of trouble. that's the rub.

if you have the means i would highly encourage you to move some place a little bit more progressive. s.a. is not too far, austin is just... awesome. dallas has a great gayborhood that feels like home the first time you get there. there are options out there and i hope you have an opportunity to try them for yourself.

 

[VICTORIADON]

Wha Wha:

If you think you have a good case about sexual harrassment, go for it.

If you want to whine...carry on.

I and many others will post our opions. Some neg some pos.

Do as you want.

(never forget...if push comes to shove...we are all behind you...((I mean)) with you.

 

[bowtiebubba]

Wha Wha:

If you think you have a good case about sexual harrassment, go for it.

If you want to whine...carry on.

I and many others will post our opions. Some neg some pos.

Do as you want.

(never forget...if push comes to shove...we are all behind you...((I mean)) with you.

Well like I said above, this guy does not work for my dealership, so I don't think my general manager can do anything. The problem with this guy is, after selling cars for many years, he has no problem asking any kind of "put you on the spot" questions, no matter what they deal with. Also, if I tell my general manager I was offended, he will then know that I am gay, because why else would I be making a big deal about it. If I am straight, I would just laugh it off and go on about my day. Then the word will spread like wildfire and I have to work with these guys almost everyday and then I would be looking for another job again.

 

[JB1986]

Sheesh, that guy asking you if you like boys or girls is just flat-out rude. You should have told him that it's not any of his business. I hate when people butt in on other people's personal lives.

 

[gsdx]

It is none of their fucking business anyway!!! It actually pissed me off that he even asked me!

That should have been your response to that question.

 

[seven_sins]

I'd have asked him if he was hitting on me.

Yeah. That is exactly what I was thinking.

 

[ixthrock]

crap, now you've got to fuck whatever ho they're trying to set you up with, and act like you like it so you can still be in the closet!!

you could say, "I've been thinking of trying boys....wanna blow me?"

i agree with everyone that says such a question is rude, and that it's inappropriate workplace discussion, but, then again, most idiots think i'm rude, and i'm hardly appropriate.

to hell with pride parades and gay ghettos! the most powerful tool we have in our social acceptance arsenal is to love ourselves. and that means all of us, our rude and inappropriate bits, our struggles, our queerdom.

every two-bit therapist/medium witch-doctor will tell you that in order to love anyone else, you have to love yourself first. Homophobia is not something you automatically leave behind when you move to the Castro, it is something that must be dredged from the inner depths of the soul and witnessed, excised if need be or lovingly put back into place.

sounds to me all your really wanting is for someone you find totally hot to be completely out.

I'm telling you, I've been fired for being gay in what turned out to be a highly publicized case. My own self-acceptance is worth more to me than any job. Forget Gay Pride, find SOMEthing about yourself that you are so proud of that announcing your sexuality to the world loses its grimy lustre, and becomes as trivial as your skin color.

 

[ixthrock]

i meant to make the point of loving ourselves in the small town, hickville, redneckton.

i mean, i couldn't feel more dramatic about this issue if I dressed in a pink tutu and waved a cardboard wand, chanting,

"come out, come out, wherever you are."

 

[Puzuzzu]

I would've told him it's none of his business.

 

[Timber_8]

I think you might have to learn to like who and what you are 1st. most people really don't care if your gay once your out. If your not comfortable it is probably you and not other people that make you feel that way