Do you really hold yourself accountable?

[2243]

I think there's something missed here. Everyone speaks of society as if it were something separate and apart from themselves. Society is made up of individuals. We are indivduals. We are society. Sometimes keeping that in mind allows you to see others individually and society as a whole with greater understanding.

I agree, I like to keep in mind that we as individuals are society and personally I don't like to form my opinions based off a "defined" separate group of people with in the society, even though at times we may not have a choice.

 

[2243]

Elvin's a big boy. I'm sure he's capable of deciding for himself what he should and shouldn't read. Because, of course, it must be voluntary, not forced.

Oh no... I'd much rather track him down, tie him up to a chair, and tape his eyes open until he reads and agrees with your last paragraph (lol); or, to be more practical, instead I'll repeatedly post here that he is an embarrassing person who is NOT a normal human being and that he should keep his ridiculous sh*t of an opinion hidden from me and others because I don't understand it and I will not tolerate it.

Seriously though, I only respectfully suggest that your last paragraph is something he should read. Needless to say, I am fully aware that it remains choice for him to make.

 

[Kulindahr]

Since "normal" is a rather subjective term open to interpretation, I think everyone's definition of "normal" may vary a bit. I mean, for some people, "normal" may be defined by the act of conformity; for others it may be defined by the most commonly occurring trait. Personally, I'm just fascinated by people in general, especially to learn how they perceive things and how they arrive at their opinions and views. I think there's a great deal to be learned from these things, and I think respecting it can only help us better understand our society on both the micro and macro levels.

My psychologist defines normal as "owning yourself honestly", by which he means knowing who you are, not hiding from yourself, and acting with integrity according to who you are.
I like that one; it reminds me of the old "Know yourself" and "Above all else, to your won self be true".

 

[Swellegant]

You know, thinking it over and reading (some of) the above, I find that I do feel a sense of responsibility for representing the communities to which I belong.

I mean, people know I'm an alcoholic in recovery; if I act a dry drunk and mistreat people the same as I did when I was a wet drunk, I'm not representing the community of twelve-step programs very well, and that brings me to reconsider my behavior. At the same time, people know I'm gay, and if I'm an asshole I make the gay community look less attractive than it should be.

But I have never believed that being effeminate, or even outrageously over-the-top effeminate, misrepresents the gay community. The gay community represents, to me, the freedom to be what I am despite the dominant paradigm. Whether what I am is a trucker who likes to make lace doilies or a transvestite who likes to whittle, I do so loudly and proudly and publicly, because being able to express myself naturally and freely is the essence of the gay community... and that is what I want to represent.

Being selfish, being drugged-up, being sarcastic, being vicious, being a user of people and their things... that misrepresents. So when I'm being very visible, seven feet of drag queen in red hair and sequins and more rhinestones than a Vegas showgirls would dare to wear at once, I am aware that I am representing my community, and so I make more of an effort to be kind, supportive, and useful to that community. I want people to look at me and say "Hey, that Miss Marlénè Manners is pretty nice... maybe drag queens aren't as bad as I was led to believe."

I have no respect for people who would look down on me because I do drag; but there are simple human mores that I feel it imperative that we follow, especially the more visible of us. There's nothing worse than a mean queen, you know? They let down the outside and the inside of this community.

 

[dpnice]

I have never been a gay activist yet fervently believe that I have played my part in making homosexuality accepted as not being something reprehensible. By being openly gay daily contact with people shows them that there is nothing strange about me, I have the same needs and dreams as they have. In my opinion and through my experience people soon loose all ideas of gay stereotyping as soon as they have personal contact with one.

So yes I do feel I represent the gay community in its entirety by being "out"; through my deeds and words people form their opinions and widen their understanding about homosexuality.

Do I owe something to the gay community and those people with the convictions to stand up and play a more political and visible part? Most certainly I do. The fact that it is no longer considered a mental disease, that it is now legal, that civil rights are being granted and the slow steps to equality are speeding up are the direct results of those homosexuals willing to stand up and fight.

I consider myself an ordinary gay guy who exhibits no extremes of behaviour who just gets on living an ordinary life. I do not see extremes as a threat to the gay community I see them as part of it to be appreciated, in my case, or despised as others seem to be able to do. They exist and have as much right to do so as I do.

There are extremes in every part of society and accepted or not they always disturb. But being gay is so much more than just finding men sexually attractive. I has always been about being different and I think it always will be. It is as much a culture as a sexual preference and I prefer it that way with all its colour, extravagence and extremes.

What do I hope for the gay community in the future? I hope for a world where 'coming out' is an element that becomes automatic without fear, nor with a fan-fare. Imagine the impact if every single person in the closet opened the door and began to live an open and free life.

 

[dpnice]

I thought long and hard about adding a postscript to my comments and finally decided that even if some find it offensive I would.

I believe my post above is an honest reply to what was being asked in this thread. It was about how you see your role in the gay community and how you see it changing in the future.

It was not about your opinion about someone else's beliefs and experiences nor an opportunity to pick over their statements as being false or incomprehensible.

 

[Kulindahr]

There are extremes in every part of society and accepted or not they always disturb. But being gay is so much more than just finding men sexually attractive. I has always been about being different and I think it always will be. It is as much a culture as a sexual preference and I prefer it that way with all its colour, extravagence and extremes.

Heck, yeah!
If straight guys can go to sports bars and watch "WWF Smackdown" while dressed as some of the [STRIKE]characters[/STRIKE] wrestlers, gay guys can be as flamboyant as they please -- both are forms of "flaming".

What do I hope for the gay community in the future? I hope for a world where 'coming out' is an element that becomes automatic without fear, nor with a fan-fare. Imagine the impact if every single person in the closet opened the door and began to live an open and free life.

Just remember that some, given their circumstances, had better put on body armor, get serious martial arts training, get armed, and maybe hire a bodyguard, before opening that door.

 

[2243]

I have never been a gay activist yet fervently believe that I have played my part in making homosexuality accepted as not being something reprehensible. By being openly gay daily contact with people shows them that there is nothing strange about me, I have the same needs and dreams as they have. In my opinion and through my experience people soon loose all ideas of gay stereotyping as soon as they have personal contact with one.

So yes I do feel I represent the gay community in its entirety by being "out"; through my deeds and words people form their opinions and widen their understanding about homosexuality.

Do I owe something to the gay community and those people with the convictions to stand up and play a more political and visible part? Most certainly I do. The fact that it is no longer considered a mental disease, that it is now legal, that civil rights are being granted and the slow steps to equality are speeding up are the direct results of those homosexuals willing to stand up and fight.

I consider myself an ordinary gay guy who exhibits no extremes of behaviour who just gets on living an ordinary life. I do not see extremes as a threat to the gay community I see them as part of it to be appreciated, in my case, or despised as others seem to be able to do. They exist and have as much right to do so as I do.

There are extremes in every part of society and accepted or not they always disturb. But being gay is so much more than just finding men sexually attractive. I has always been about being different and I think it always will be. It is as much a culture as a sexual preference and I prefer it that way with all its colour, extravagence and extremes.

What do I hope for the gay community in the future? I hope for a world where 'coming out' is an element that becomes automatic without fear, nor with a fan-fare. Imagine the impact if every single person in the closet opened the door and began to live an open and free life.

dpnice, if I knew that you were going to be making a post like this one then I would have stopped posting after my first one. (IMO) Your post is very logical and organized. It's even changed my mind on some parts. I very much agree with this this part:

I do not see extremes as a threat to the gay community I see them as part of it to be appreciated, in my case, or despised as others seem to be able to do. They exist and have as much right to do so as I do.

There are extremes in every part of society and accepted or not they always disturb. But being gay is so much more than just finding men sexually attractive. I has always been about being different and I think it always will be. It is as much a culture as a sexual preference and I prefer it that way with all its colour, extravagence and extremes.

I guess, I can only hope that those who do see the extremes (the likes of Chris Croker) as a threat to the gay community, can truly understand your brilliant words. They exist and have as much right to do so as any of us.

On your second post, I can't be sure if it's directed at me, if it is being directed at all. Although, after having read the post, I feel I can't stress enough that I do not believe that other's beliefs,opinions, statements, or comments are somehow false; however, If I were to find either one of those incomprehensible, then I would ask about it because it would be ignorant to pass it as wrong or right, in my mind, when I don't even understand it.

Others may see that differently, but, if nothing else, I've learned of wich members of JUB I should not bother to discuss or ask about any belief, opinion, statement, or comment of theirs that I did not comprehend. Finally, I want to apologize to the OP creator for having helped the thread get carried off-topic.

 

[ixthrock]

As a gay man, do you feel it is your responsibility to represent the entire gay community? Do you carry that burden with you?

as a human, i feel it is my responsibility to represent the entire species. to me, this is of greater importance than representing the gay community, which i only do as a sideline.

If you're a little over the feminine side, do you feel guilty because you're falling into some stereotype that you shouldn't even have worry about?

um.... i'm not sure if i'm "over" the feminine side or not, but i can state unequivocally that i never feel guilty about falling into a stereotype that i shouldn't have to worry about. I DO sometimes feel guilty if i suspect that i'm falling into a stereotype that i think i SHOULD worry about, like being catty or shallow or vain.

Do you deprive yourself of what you love because you care too much about what others think?

yes, for quite awhile now. The circuit court thinks i should stay away from a former friend, and i would really like to pay him a visit.

What kind of guy are you?

can you get back to me on that?

how do you feel about the gay community nowadays?

that it's pretty arbitrary. in general, i prefer individuals over mobs.

[SIZE=-1]Is it not possible that an individual may be right and a government wrong?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=-1][/SIZE]

The majority is never right. Never, I tell you! That’s one of these lies in society that no free and intelligent man can help rebelling against. Who are the people that make up the biggest proportion of the population—the intelligent ones or the fools? I think we can agree it’s the fools, no matter where you go in this world, it’s the fools that form the overwhelming majority.

i respect the efforts of many individuals, and i respect the concerted efforts of many individuals... but groups, in general, tend to freak me out even though i recognize that i belong to many.

Are we headed to good and better things?

i hope so....

Heres wishing you the bluest sky,
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the doubt and sadness.
I know that better things are on the way.

Heres hoping all the days ahead
Wont be as bitter as the ones behind you.
Be an optimist instead,
And somehow happiness will find you.
Forget what happened yesterday,
I know that better things are on the way.

Its really good to see you rocking out
And having fun,
Living like you just begun.
Accept your life and what it brings.
I hope tomorrow youll find better things.
I know tomorrow youll find better things.

Heres wishing you the bluest sky,
And hoping something better comes tomorrow.
Hoping all the verses rhyme,
And the very best of choruses to
Follow all the drudge and sadness.
I know that better things are on the way.

I know youve got a lot of good things happening up ahead.
The past is gone its all been said.
So heres to what the future brings,
I know tomorrow youll find better things.
I know tomorrow youll find better things.