Do you think homophobia coming from a girl is worse than coming from a guy?

[JoeyLj]

I often find this. I think it's cause you expect them not to be.

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Well, it's unwise to expect women to be loss homophobic than men. Remember that two of the biggest and influential homophobes of the 20th century were Anita Bryant and Phyllis Schlafly. It's important to know that your enemies can come in various forms. I should also say that gay men often prove to be major homophobes.

 

[youngnihilist]

I think it's definitely worse. Men being homophobic can come from a lot of issues, like being molested by other men, being insecure in their sexuality, or being gay themselves and becoming homophobes to hide it. There's some degree in flexibility there. For women, they have no excuse except bigotry

 

[fetaby]

Can you elaborate on this? I'm not disagreeing or agreeing, just not quite understanding your point.

As for my answer, no I do not perceive it differently by gender. The level of homophobia is going to differ from person to person and I think that's what is most offensive.

May not be what BGP intended, but I'll take a stab at this one.


Misinformation on what being gay is causing a psychologically destructive behavior pattern, the closet.

It's gay kids killing themselves.

It's gay men discriminating against effeminate individuals to distance themselves away from anything that is different than the heteronormative value systems that have been ingrained in them since their birth. Blue is for boys, pink is for girls...

It's gay men turning blind eyes to another's suffering because they can hide, or pass for straight. I'm not like that, it doesn't effect me... When if it was known, they would suffer in the same vain.

Something like that.

 

[Darkflower]

Re: The OP, I know it shouldn't feel worse when I run across a woman who is homophobic, but it does.

Kind of makes me think, "How could you? After all we've been through as women just to be treated as fellow human beings rather than witless beasts of burden? How can you justify denying another their humanity?"

Same with black folks. And no matter how many differentiating explanations I hear, it doesn't make it feel any better.

 

[FloydtheWizard]

Being a gay male, I find women typically more accepting than males. So I do feel a bit strange when women aren't as accepting as I expect. With guys, I don't expect the same acceptance (Its a double standard and I don't like it but I still feel and think that way), coming from all my experiences, but it doesn't mean I don't demand the same amount of respect and humanity from them. I find I have to do this a lot when a girl is interested in me, or just thinks I'm straight, and I tell them I'm gay and then they think its okay to bashing other guys because I 'pass' or 'don't act like them'. Then I have to check them on their lack of morals and class. Same goes for guys that act that way, though.

 

[TickTockMan]

I think it's definitely worse. Men being homophobic can come from a lot of issues, like being molested by other men, being insecure in their sexuality, or being gay themselves and becoming homophobes to hide it. There's some degree in flexibility there. For women, they have no excuse except bigotry

Beside what Matter wrote I have one word for you: Lesbians

 

[jizzeater]

Being a gay male, I find women typically more accepting than males. So I do feel a bit strange when women aren't as accepting as I expect.

I agree. I believe women to be more nurturing, sensitive, mature, and understanding than men in general. It's more disappointing to hear them talking shit about gay men. I would expect that from the average guy, because it's like an everyday thing for them to make fun of gays. They rib each other about being "homos" all the time.

 

[Paws]

Both sexes are equally bad.

With women you have to be careful as they might trick you and call their boyfriend or fascist/white supremacist scene friends...

 

[freefall]

Homophobic girls falls into two categories: the ones gossiping you all around, giving you no sense of privacy; and the ones tend to speak out more with their actions, like throwing tomatoes at you.

Homophobic guys see you as a thorn in their flesh, a poison in their water, and a dirt in their eyes, and won't stop at anything to ensure you're taken care of.

Gee, I can't decide which is worst.

 

[NineOfClubs]

Good question.

I usually find homophobia worse if it's from a guy. Because it might mean violence...

But it always surprises me more if it's from a girl. And it often is.

When I was in Queer Nation, and we queers went out dancing in straight bars, it was always the girls that gave us sh*t. Maybe they felt threatened or something....

 

[geloge]

haven't there been enough hating women threads?

Homophobia is BAD

 

[bulge]

In a boy I actually don't understand it. They know what male desire is and what it means. So, homophobia in boys is ununderstandable.

Whatever girls think, I don't care, except when it destroys a son, a brother, a husband or ...

 

[GM1985]

Imbicilic behaviour does not discriminate

 

[Willie Boy]

What's worse? A guy afraid of dicks or a chick afraid dykes...

Aren't they equal?

For a woman to be a true homophobe she would have to hate women, otherwise she's just a heterophobe.

 

[G-Lexington]

I guess I don't expect it from guys OR girls, and it's unwelcome from both.

Lex

 

[DigitalFudge]

Depends on the degree, I am ashamed (Not that much) to say that I have a lot of friends who are homophobes, and not to be arrogent but they reallllly love me and always want to go out anyway.

They are the type that says fag and gay ect ect they even go out of their way to say gays dont deserve to be treated differently but each of them have their own problems with gays either religion or whatever. Like I said the degree is what matters. Actually the same thing with my male friends.


Yeah.

I need to re-roll friends

 

[BabiGayPimp]

Can you elaborate on this? I'm not disagreeing or agreeing, just not quite understanding your point.

As for my answer, no I do not perceive it differently by gender. The level of homophobia is going to differ from person to person and I think that's what is most offensive.

My point is that, considering the magnitude of what we're up against, we can't afford to be more or less disappointed at the source of the latest attack, whether it be male, female, gay, or straight. Closeted gay men living in denial have often proven to be our most dangerous enemies.

And if we look to recent history, we'll see that drive to punish us politically and deny or rights has frequently been led by alpha females who use God, motherhood, family, and femininity as weapons to assault our interests.

 

[ShyLight]

Judging from the responses, I may be interpreting the OP's question differently from everyone else. Some seem to be discussing whether or not homophobia is worse in the way it's perceived by the victim based on the gender making the offense and on some level a few people appear to be discussing if it's worse in terms of the frequency with which it occurs by a certain gender in practice based on one's experience. I originally interpreted the OP's question to lean towards the former viewpoint, so I'll carry out my response accordingly:

In my view, homophobia is worse coming from another man since it's coming from a person of the same gender of you; it's as if your entire manhood and worth as a man/human being is being challenged. It's bad enough when you're hanging out with men and you always have to bear that inner sense of "being on your toes" or "walking on eggshells" because of the bewildering and ever-present masculinity factor (if that makes any sense), but it's exacerbated when you're judged by your male peers based on your sexuality.

I suppose in my mind the core reason for that is the traditional role that Western society places on men to be the strong and courageous warrior who knows no fear and procreates with females to pass the genes along; however, if that's being challenged, you're effectively emasculated and driven out of a sphere that's been established since the dawn of humanity.

But in terms of enduring homophobia from a woman - it just wouldn't affect me to the same degree and it's much easier for me to get over. I've had several experiences in middle and high school where girls easily knew I was gay and would call me out on it immediately in a derogatory manner, but I just as easily responded or thought "whatever, bitch" and kept moving. However, when the same verbal abuse came from a guy, that despondent feeling lingered for quite a while.

I've since learned to grow much thicker skin when dealing with both genders on this issue, but regardless of that, to me homophobia is still definitely worse coming from men.

 

[fetaby]

I don't think there is a right answer on this one. There is no way to tell people what to feel when confronted with homophobic individuals.


Depending on what our expectations are from these individuals is the amount of "hurt" felt.